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JACKIE1-25-15 Blog

338 posts

...because I smoked

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Jul 30, 2019

Yes, I can run marathons, obstacle courses, 5K's, fitness competitions but I still smoked.  Out of 7 kids, I was the only one that was a long term smoker.  Now as we age I wonder, will I be the first to go...because I smoked?   No, they do not run marathons, nor watched their diets, but they did not smoke.  I did.   I sit and ponder why did I do that to myself?

I have a few clues. I can almost cry at the thought of so much wasted... because I smoked.  Now, I wonder, what does the future hold for me ... because I smoked? 

I have not been diagnosed with any smoking-related diseases, but will that day come?  Should I not be concerned?  Life is good and I have crossed the line of addiction with a firm commitment to never turn back  Was it too late?  Will I still have to suffer the consequences....because I smoked?  These thoughts crossed my mind. Will I have to pay more of a price? 

My answer for today:   I can not see in the future.  I  can only live today to the fullest knowing that the use of the drug is behind me. I am blessed to breathe very efficiently and move well for a woman of my age group.  Thank God. So many are not as fortunate. No matter how long I live, I have conquered the use of the drug nicotine for the rest of my life. I am free and the journey continues for I am firmly committed that I will forever protect my quit no matter what and never turn back ever again. Amen.  Some say you can't say that because you do not know.  I can, because I know that I know that I know! 

 If you are questioning whether you should quit or whether you can do this and have a forever quit.  The answer is yes. If you have become a serial quitter, you don't have to be.  Make a firm commitment to NOPE.  NOPE no matter what can set you free.   It is a choice to cross the line from addiction to a new life of freedom. One step at a time in the right direction to freedoms journey.  It is never too late.  Start today to truly live without smoking.  With the help and support of the EX community, you can Have a new life and end the vicious cycle of addiction.   1646DOF  I know!  You can do it too. 

If you are new here, Welcome.  You have come to the right place for support to quit smoking.  As addicts, we are often in denial when we are faced with the truth that we are addicts. Addictive behavior whether, using heroin, cocaine, meth, nicotine or any choice drug comes a specific way of thinking that enables the addict to continue using substances despite the serious consequences.  I can remember many times being drawn by the addiction to mindlessly drive in the middle of the night to buy smokes. I wondered why I could not make myself turn around and not buy those smokes. For some reason, I could not stop myself. The reason why....addiction, the impulsive gratification.  Like any other drug, I had to get my "fix".  As I look back, was I really putting in the effort?  Today I can honestly answer that quickly....No. 


I had "hope" but did not put in the "work" required.

 When I came to this site things changed. I learned of the law of addiction and treated my drug choice nicotine as such.   "The Law" was/is vital in my recovery and a better understanding of overcoming the desire to drive mindlessly in the middle of the night, or walk-in deep snow, scrounge my pockets and car seats for change just to get a "fix.  I am thankful for the knowledge.  It is true....knowledge is power    Quoting Thomas3.20.2010

For those who do not know,   The law of addiction states that administration of a drug to an addict will cause reestablishment of the dependence on that substance.  Until I was willing to never take another puff NO MATTER what was happening in my life I would continue on the vicious cycle of not being able to turn around. The only way around this law of addiction is NOPE. No matter what.   That will keep you on the journey to freedom.   Stop convicting yourself by going back to smoking.  With a support system, quitting is doable.   NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!  NOPE A wise elder once said, just don't smoke. Dancingthrulife_6.4.13


I made a commitment never to ever touch one, or put to my lips, not in my hand, not on my tongue, not in my lungs, not in my throat.  I will not choke. 

We all know that smoking is deadly.  Make a commitment today that NO MATTER WHAT, you will not smoke and stop playing roulette with your life.   You have to go through to get to freedom.  It is not easy but doable. 


Message in a Bottle

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 May 22, 2019

The title of my blog was the theme for EX 7.  I won’t write much right now because I am filled thinking about a wonderful memorable EXperience with my friends here. New and old.  Just making a quick highlight my  keyboard is acting up 

Messages were written and placed in a bottle to read a statement from someone that made an impact on our journey.  Many heartfelt moments of sharing.  It was great. Lots of Kleenex tissue passed lol.    Special thanks for the souvenir gifts, Giulia, flower, Barb102, NOPE buttons (cool) Mark business card Strudel, a message in a bottle,  @        Daniela-3-11-2016    for the cookies, Sorry no pic, they got eaten before I thought about a pic. Mandolinrain gave us a seashell on a rope and soap which is the base.  Kathy’neighbor (God bless her)baked cupcakes. A miniature message bottle on it, so delicious.  Glad I did not bite too hard. More to come, have to go buy a keyboard. Thank you all for your love and friendship.Special shout out o Strudel and Michwoman for making this happen and anyone else for their support and input. Hoping to connect with EXers in the area djmurray_12-31-14 and DonnaMarie       EX 8 here I come wherever it is

Be Blessed, Continued prayers for you all.




Oh gosh I am about to cry. 


Happy Resurrection Day

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Apr 21, 2019

At the end Holy Week, as we celebrate Resurrection Sunday, let us remember that Jesus is alive. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. He deserves all of our hearts and all of our worship. It is about love. Let’s treat every week like it’s holy.


That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. 



Answer: So pOSITIVE  she created her own positive thought game here on EX. A positive thought for the day - game 


Answer: Straight to the point positive!

Someone slipped, this was  her response

Just calculate how much money you've saved by December if you stay with us and become an EX  You can do it, we are here to help!  Back on the wagon, you go!



How pOSITIVE ??  

She will pick up cigarette trash and discard it for a cleaner environment. lol  Don't fall over Pall Mall 





She often speaks of  A better world   Oh what pOSITIVE lovely thoughts! 

In response to Dales blog, Smoking built a wall, knock it down, let it fall.  

"If the Berlin wall had not fallen, I would not be here with you today" 

 She is a native of Romania.and  Sometimes I really miss my first home 


When things are not well with her health she puts a pOSITIVE spin on it. 

Oh, yes, and I forgot to mention: joints pain (to the point I could not walk anymore, which was my saving grace at the beginning of my quit), and hair loss, a lot of hair loss


so happy when I was finally diagnosed with hypothyroidism dreaming about losing all that water I was retaining in my whole wasn't more than 5-6 pounds

 Please note some quotes have been taken out of context for humor.

Peace and Positivity  

The pOSITIVity.. No shame to her game when she wants us to get along.Let's stay together 

When it's cold outside she's got the month of May Smile and enjoy 

She also has the cure for any bad odor.  Let her know what stinks she will fix it!Aromatherapy helps 

pOSITIVity with ”love” is her motto. Love and Belonging 


  She has graphics that will Positively calm you.  Healing thoughts 

Or get you excited and laugh


 If her graphics aren't working her meditation will 

3 min meditation 


There is so much I could say about this Elder, more than I could ever acknowledge here.

Please take time to read more of her beautifully written blogs. They reflect her sincerity, humor, genuineness, hardworking, dedicated super POSITIVE Elder

Today I give tribute and introduce to the newbies

 Miss Positivity





3 years 1 month 1 week 1 day Free






Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses.”– Alphonse Karr


No, I was not what we call a "happy quitter"  the numbers here for happy quitters is always very few.  I would call myself "a positive quitter"  (You can read my blogs. lol)  I was pumped up!  For every negative, I would turn it into a positive or just resolved that No Matter What I was not going to smoke. 

I believe for every negative, some good has to come from it.  Being the middle child of seven this has been a part of me for a long time.  I do understand everyone is not like that.  Some people see the positive in a situation, and others see the negative. It is all about the point of view. For one person, something might be pleasant, but for the other, it is annoying.  How do we get from negative thinking to positive thinking that we CAN quit smoking?   It does not happen overnight, it takes, guess what? TIME and PRACTICE ( in my high pitch singing voice).

Here are a few pointers

  •  Visualize how you will feel and what you will have once your goal is completed.”   (Freedom)   What does that look like to you?

  •  It requires a change in your attitude and point of view from within with persistence.  (it may mean letting go of past hurts) If necessary seek professional help. 
  • Being around people that have positive attitudes help.
  • You will be surprised how wearing a smile or a laugh can change things. 

      Even if you have to force one. It will improve how you feel.  Try it.  It Works!Smiley - Wikipedia

  • Speaking about your problems over and over again, eventually, develops the habit of staying negative most of the time. The more you speak about your negative experiences the more negative your mindset becomes.
  • Avoid,  repeating in your mind negative thoughts and narrations about yourself. 
  • Use less often the words like 'cannot', 'impossible', 'difficult' 'struggle" and similar words
  • Engage yourself in some physical activity if you can. Go for a walk, swim, or go to the gym, cook, bake, or go dancing or fix something at home.
  • Don't act like a victim, instead, take charge of the situation.
  •   Live while you are alive and find some enjoyment in each day (Joyce Meyers) just heard this one.  
  • Watching a funny movie diverts your mind from your problems and negative thoughts.
  • Read positive quotes Positive Affirmations and Support
  • Move forward and break the bondage of addiction. 
  • Say YES I Can!

There is power in positive thinking.  Believe that. 



For the last 48 hours, the act of smoking has crossed my mind at least two or three times.  Even though it is a smidgeon of thought, do I shrug it off and say oh well?  Don't know where that came from and keep it moving?  Yes, I do BUT I also know that it is time for me to go into protect quit mode, real quick.  I guess a smidgeon is huge for me because I rarely think about a stinking cigarette or even desire for one.  Breathe.  Don't know where the thought came from.  Right out of the blue.  Wow, I heard it could happen and it has. lol.  Not stressed about anything.  hmmm?  Maybe a few anxious moments Sunday, our church is going through a major change but nothing extraordinary. Change of seasons?  hmm?.  Been through 3 plus season changes.  Hmm? Not absolutely sure.  But I am sure of one thing, Just because the thought of smoking crosses my mind does not mean I have to act on it.  It has been more than 4 years since my quit date.  I know how to suck it up and keep it going and not be fooled by my addiction.  NOPE and  I am in protect quit mode right now. Period. That is why I am here talking about it. What do my EX friends have to say? 

No, I am not going to smoke.  No, I am not going to the store to buy any. NOPE no matter what!   I am just doing what I have always done.  Come to EX first.  I will never quit on my quit. I will never ever forget NEF where I started and what it has taken me to get where I am.   All my energy, all my inner strength, all my prayers, loss of sleep, all the pain of thinking about a cigarette.  Wondering when it would end and what it took to be free. No! I will never give it up or give in no matter what, by any means necessary.  Therefore I am not blowing it off and think that I am above the law.  NOPE.  Yes, I have kicked the demon to the curb and run right over it several times.  I am not looking back but will continue to stomp on its head if I have to. 

Mantra time!  No matter what, who, when, where, how.  I will not put one in my hand.  Not on my lips, not on my tongue, not in my lungs,  Not in my clothes, not up to my nose. Not in my throat, I will not choke. Breathe.  NOPE no matter what has kept me free and will keep me free.  Suprised I have to deal with this today. However, by any means necessary, I will not smoke.  I am being reminded that no matter where I am with my quit I am not above the law of addiction. I could relapse if I did not use my tools.  Wow smh.

The secret to quitting, I decided, was never to smoke again.  Ever. Close the door on it totally and forever.  Not just "I hope", but not to open that door ever again.  So all I had to do was not to smoke.


And I decided I could do that.  I didn't try to figure out the rest of my life, I didn't cement my plan into stone, I didn't even announce to anyone I was quitting.  I quietly shut the door and refused to open it ever again.

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13    2/1/19

The Most Effective Way to Quit 



Close the door to smoking, do not hold on to it as an option.  Be willing to close the door and never open it again.  NOPE. 

Early on my EX journey, I came upon a few EXer’s who had fallen.  Some had been on this journey longer than I.  Why did they fall?  I walked past them not understanding what happened.    I also noticed when one fell another would come along and trip.  I just couldn’t quite” get it”.  I became frightened with thoughts that I was doing all these things to quit smoking and this could happen to me.  I was baffled in the beginning but learned I could trip or fall if I did not read and pay attention to the signs (triggers) on this journey.   The sign that reads, "One Puff  Away To Relapse".

Your journey may be in one those seasons we talk about.  No matter where you are in your quit you have to be vigilant and guard it (read the signs) and do what is necessary to stay smoke-free.  If it means avoiding people, places, and things that may cause us to be vulnerable, do it.  The signs may not be visible in the beginning because we think we have become stronger than the addiction. Don't be so fooled.  We feel we have gotten the addiction under control and we are okay with certain situations. Maybe, but for some, it can be taking your quit for granted.  It may not happen the first time in those situations but over time it can build up and because of the fog, you don’t stop and read the signs.  We have to recognize that we are only one puff away to relapse.  This addiction is as real as crack, heroin, meth, cocaine so you have to protect your quit.

I understand that we live in a world that people smoke but sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to avoid those people, places and things before it’s too late.  Hindsight is 20/20. If you are breathing second-hand smoke on a regular basis you are not reading the sign to a possible relapse.   We cannot subconsciously test ourselves or we may be smoking before we know it.  So don’t set yourself up for failure because you think you are strong.   Smoking cessation isn’t always about strength. Sometimes it is knowing where you are weak so you can set boundaries to protect your quit no matter what, who, when, where, or how.  In the end, we are responsible for it.

So no matter how many days you are smoke-free, you are still “one puff” away from relapse because the nicotine addiction is real.  Quitting smoking is a continuous work with no stop sign or date.  It is forever. It just gets easier with time. So if you are new or old to EX work your quit and most importantly, protect it. Stay close.  “Don’t quit on your quit. NOPE no matter what.  SINAO.  Smoking is not an option. 


Are you still smoking?

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 15, 2019

A Wise Elder Once Said...

"If you quit smoking and you are still smoking, you are doing it wrong". 



If you are still smoking, recently quit and or on the fence and need support

...Please Read

 If You've Quit Smoking And You're Still Smoking 



Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 14, 2019


Know the LAW!

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Feb 1, 2019

Look around... You are a nonsmoker now.   Everything seems brighter now.  Be proud and pat yourself on the back.  You have made it!   What a wonderful feeling.  Your health and stamina have improved.  You are starting to see the benefits of not smoking.  No more stinking ashtrays around or hunting for a lighter.  The time used smoking is used differently now.  Oh my, the smell is no longer in your hair. You feel beautiful.  You can breathe better.  No more hiding and covering-up.  You have arrived.  Even the dull yellow finish on your fingernails has disappeared and food taste like it never had before.  You can really smell now.   Ahh, breathe.   Bottom line you no longer have to focus on getting a "fix". 


Celebrate your success.  You can hardly believe that the thoughts of smoking have become a flicker. Sure it took some time and hard work to get here but the benefits outweigh the challenges.  You have arrived!  YES,  You did it!  You are thankful that you did not give up. Whoo Hoo!   When the going got tough you stayed the course. Congratulations. Even when the withdrawal at times, literally drained you, you survived. Yes, all of the mentioned is EXcellent but...NEF (never ever forget)  the LAW!   Know it for yourself.  Protect your quit.  It is your own.  Don't lose it. 

What are you going to do to protect your quit?  Answer...NOPE

  The Law of Addiction

“Administration of a drug to an addict will cause reestablishment of chemical dependence upon the addictive substance...Know that!

Definition Of Addiction

I could easily cry tears of joy for THIS DAY!.  There are no words to express how I feel.  I am honored and happy to be a part of this community.  I am having many thoughts and reflections on this journey right now.  I have much to be thankful for but I will try to be quick this morning.  Now and then I go back to read some of my old blogs.  I have found them very helpful throughout the journey.  I can see where I started, the trials and accomplishments.  The comments, wisdom help, and support from the community have impacted me and I hold a keepsake of my journey.

 It takes a village to help a quitter.  Jackieism

BTW (by the way)  I would advise everyone to chronicle their journey whether by blog or in a personal journal  

You will not regret it.

Four (4) years thank God I am free. I don't have the words to explain it. I am free.  No longer bound. No more chains holding me.  My soul is rested, oh what a blessing.  Praise the Lord!  Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!  Hallelujah, I'm free. 

This morning I read a few of my old blogs.  One was written roughly 270+ days into my quit.  It chronicled how I felt.  I hope that you will take the time to read it.   The link is below.  I hope someone gains something from it and will help you to move forward on your journey.  Because the journey continues...


I had made up my mind that no matter what  I would never take another puff and had resolved that it would be by any mean necessary.  Whatever I had to do not to smoke I was going to do it. Smoking was no longer an option. SINAO

Here are a few blogs that I would like to share.  Have a blessed day.  NOPE, I am free. 

Make up your Mind! 

By any means necessary

This is how I feel right now.  


New Day, Move Forward

Posted by JACKIE1-25-15 Dec 26, 2018

 Love Yourself/Forgive Yourself

There were times in my life that I felt I wasn’t loved.  As I look back I now questioned whether I knew how to truly love myself.  I often ponder how does one love or forgive themselves.  One of my main reference for questions is the Holy Bible.  So there I go to search.  I do not find anything that speaks directly of loving oneself.  However, there is a passage that says we should love our neighbors as ourselves.  So I can interpret that as to say we should love ourselves and love others.   Let me be clear, I am not a Bible scholar but the Word has been a part of my life most of my life, my "self-help" book of which I have read many.  The Bible is the best one.  My search leads me to "Love thy neighbor as thyself. Mark 12:31.  I am sure many of you have heard, read and were taught this scripture. 

Question?  Do we live it or are we holding on to a disagreement or misunderstanding and not talking to our neighbor.  Are you harboring anger in your soul?  Who does that help?  Forgive them move on.  How do we do it?  I think the proper term should be "acceptance."  One of life’s obstacles is self-acceptance.  Though it may be difficult, learning to be okay with who we are is one the most important things we can do to be happier individuals.  No matter what life has dealt us, we have the opportunity to accept ourselves and learn from our experiences to be used tor our good. 

How does this fall in line with quitting smoking?  Quitting smoking will open the door to help us reach a higher level of accepting ourselves. It is a growth process within the quit that brings this assurance. It is easier to live than to put into words.  It is about a healthier and more spiritual lifestyle. This attitude of acceptance makes life more wonderful.  So NOPE no matter what. 

To all who are MAD and ANGRY about something.  We have all been hurt.  We have been lied on, talked about, abused, scorned, etc. How we respond to those misdeeds is our choice. We can forever burden our hearts by constantly reliving the hurts or we can release the hurts, forgive our offenders, and move on. Carrying the hurts keeps us in bondage. Releasing them gives us freedom.  Which do you choose Bondage or Freedom? 

Wish the best to/for those who hate and despise you. 

Matthew 5:44 

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;


How do you know when you have forgiven someone?  

Answer: When you do not have to continue to speak ill of that person.  

Note: Start Your New Day with a New Way.  Forgive others to allow forgiveness for yourself in order to move forward. 


Thank God I am Magnificently Made  I am stronger, wiser, courageous, loving, generous, kind, forgiving, funny, smart, beautiful, talented, not perfect but a happier more self-accepting person smokefree.  I can smile about me. I am loving my life smoke free1431 DOF

Don't quit on your quit.  Keep it Movin Forward

For every Exer no matter where you are in your quit.

I pray that you have peace and joy this time and forever.

Forgiveness for our sins, those we see and don't see.

I pray that you accept your quit, not as a struggle but "doable."

Praying that difficult days to be made easier

And giving up is not an option no matter what 

NOPE. Not one puff ever

 SINAO smoking is not an option. 

I pray for your loved ones,

those estranged, who have lost loved ones and are lonely,

the sick, and all who need and are willing to receive God's help.

I pray for healing and forgiveness in our relationships.

I pray this journey will cause you to love yourself more each day.

That you have comfort on difficult days

 And you will trust and believe that too shall pass.

I pray that if you fall you will forgive yourself and

Have the strength and courage to get up and start a graceful forever quit.

I pray for peace and harmony on this site

That love overrules all, for we are an EXtended family

I pray that each life be blessed

Knowing God will fulfill all of our needs 

I pray that you will receive help here and one day pay it forward.

I praise God and I am humbly thankful for a changed mind

And deliverance from nicotine

With gratitude, I will protect this precious quit.

Mindful, that no matter what NOPE

Most of all, thankful for true friendships here

May we continue to focus on freedom goals

With love and respect for each other.

Bless the elders, newbies, and administration.

In Jesus Name I pray….

Amen & Merry Christmas.

Love you all the most.