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Iwannalife Blog

56 posts

Still at it..

Posted by Iwannalife Jun 8, 2017

I love being nicotine free. Each morning I wake up, I breathe easier and actually want to get up and face the day. Jade and I have been on a few hiking excursions (the back yard) lol. But hey, it has trees and obstacles and I am learning to trust his judgement more and more with each excursion. My trainer said next week we get to learn how to work together without a harness. I really never thought that at the young age of 60 I would be relearning how to live. And how to live a whole new way. I love the adventures. If my training goes as planned Jade and I are going to fly to Arizona to see my Grand's and Great Grand's. Then my granddaughter is going to drive us to Michigan to see my mother. I am so excited. I am so glad that I found this site. It is was the greatest help in my quit journey, and all the encouragement given been all who have been then before me goes with me in all the challenges I have met along the way. Thank you to each of you.

I like this quit thing!



My Jade

Posted by Iwannalife May 18, 2017

Jade always tries to kiss me when I out him on his exercise/play run.


waiting for his release command to go play


Grocery shopping ....

Posted by Iwannalife May 18, 2017

....with Jade and I is quite an experience. He was very well mannered, I think better than some children.


The journey began with my trainer and I going through my pantry and identifying each item and showing each one to Jade. Then we put the items back on the shelf in alphabetical order and placed a marker at the end of each starting letter. We would start at the end of one shelf and call the letter out and the item by name such as 'G' green beans and Jade would go to the G section and I would slide my hand down the shelf and when I got to the green beans he would nudge my leg. I thought that was a clever way to organize my pantry but still did not see how that was going to help me in the store to find what I needed.


I kept my chin up and loaded up in the vehicle with Jade in tow and my list in braille. Ya know that is hard to learn! haha

As we entered the store my trainer asked the clerk what was the order of the shelves, example did they start with A from the center of the midway or did they loop. Our store loops meaning that you start with the first aisle on your left hand side and that is the beginning of the alphabet and you come back down the aisle on the right and it will bring you back to the midway at the end of the alphabet.


Produce was easy, I could tell by feel what I had in my hand, I would hold it down for Jade to smell and tell him the item name. So far so good, I had peaches, apples, onions, blackberries, lettuce and tomatoes. Then we went to the back of the store for milk, cheese, yogurt, fruit juice, eggs. We proceeded to the canned vegetables, where I thought for sure I would really mess up but using the same method we had at home in the pantry we got green beans, corn, butter beans, sweet peas, black eye peas and carrots. We got coffee, tea, graham cracker, club crackers and saltine crackers. Jade was handling like pro.


I was so nervous I was actually shaking when my trainer said we were going to get fresh meat next. I thought 'oh yeah, this is going to be where the mess hits the fan'. A dog and raw meat what a combination!! But NO, My Jade was a true champion, he guided me to the ground beef, pork chops, ribs, chicken, bacon, and sausage, with no more than a very regal sniff and gentle nudge.


I was so proud of him and myself.


I hit this challenge head on just like when I quit. It wasn't easy in the beginning and the longer I stay quit the easier it is getting. My quit journey has not been an easy one with all the stresses I have faced along the way surgery, stroke, losing my vision. But each step of the way I have attributed to this group, it is each and every one of you that encouraged me to stay quit and protect it at all costs. You all have given the strength to push forward and upward. I know that if I had quit before my health was already in such a downward spiral I would have been able to continue doing what I love the most seeing and holding my great grandchildren. To all the  new quitters out there remember there is always someone here that is willing to help you fight that craving, let you cry on their shoulder, or just to scream it out, someone always has a hand out to you to pull you through those tough times. Review your reasons for wanting to quit often and ever strive to reach that goal of just one more day without nicotine.

I love this quit thing. Laurie

Jade, my eyes. Jade is my seeing eye dog and we have been working together for two weeks now. I have a lot to learn and Jade is very patient with me. We started to learn how to navigate stairs  and I can't begin to count the number of times I tried to second guess his judgement and stumbled, I swear there were several times I could feel him rolling his eyes at me, ha ha. Tuesday we get to try another first, we get to go grocery shopping! My instructor is going to show me how to make a list and how to show Jade what I am looking for. I know Jade will think this is child's play, myself I am already feeling the anxiety of it. Jade can sense my trepidation and he is hovering at my side as I speak.


I can't begin to express how grateful I am to have found this site with all you wonderful people way before I began this journey. I draw strength from each of you every day. All of the support you show not only me but to every person on this site. You all have become like family to me and I feel a special bond to each of you. I am in prayer that one day I will be able to meet each of face to face.


I love each of you and pray for the Lord to keep each one of you strong and guide you in your quit.


I like this 'quit thing'. Laurie


Does Anyone Know......

Posted by Iwannalife Apr 27, 2017

.....what 63,072,000 seconds---

1,051,200 minutes---

17,520 hours---

730 days---

24 months---

all equal?

2 years

That's right, 2 years!

Two years of freedom from nicotine, $4984.85 in a jar from what I would have been spending on cigarettes! Counted and continuing to add up, but will not spend till my fifth year anniversary!  There were many bumps in the road and curves in the track, a lot of ups and a lot of downs.  It has been one heck of a journey, but I am glad I purchased the ticket!

I love this quit thing!

I have to apologize for not being active on this site. So much has happened to me since January this year. I had an accident amd lost sight, it has slight returned in my right eye and I have been told it may not get any better. So I have been in the process of learning how to live a whole new lifestyle. It is amazing how much we take for granted when we do things with sight. I got back home on Wednesday and sometimes the littlest things just really irritate me., for example as I am making this entry I just have to trust that voice print program I am using is working as it should and not just typing in a lot of nonsense words. I was just reminiscing about how I used to handle stressful situations, grab my lighter and a pack of smokes and head outside. Yet since my quit nearly two years ago i still i still find myself at times going to my quit helps, albeit not as often as when I first quit but now it is more out of the satisfaction that I feel from knowing that mix does not control me, I control it. God Bless all of you, elders and newbies alike. Elders always remember we are gorging the trail for the newbies. Newbies always remember you are not on this journey alone, there is always someone else that has gone on before you and be open minded about the tips and tricks others have posted about no matter how silly they seem to you they may be the one thing that gets you through a rough patch.


I love this quit thing!


Iwannalife Archived Profile

Posted by Iwannalife Jan 23, 2017



Hi I am 59 years old. I enjoy walking, gardening and Gospel music. I have recently become a new Great Grandma.  I am dealing with some health issues right now and am praying that by quitting smoking I can overcome them. 

Brief Description

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walking, gardening, playing with the grandchildren, sewing, crochet, baking and cooking


retired military heavy equipment operator


whew what a ride

Posted by Iwannalife Jan 27, 2016

275 days nicotine free-have been out of touch with the cyber world for a while-

My son is an over the road trucker and he has had me riding with him. I never thought that I would be able to travel thousands of miles without lighting up, not only did I not light up I NEVER even had the desire to, even when my son would fire one up (of course the ex smoker in me kept biting my tongue to refrain from blowing up on him) but as mother I did gently tell him he needed to quit smoking. I am sitting at truck stop right now and we are headed to AZ next hoping to get close enough to my daughter and granddaughter so that one of them can come pick me up and let me stay with them for a while, since I just found out that my 2nd great grand will be arriving in about 6 months.

Love to y'all

I like this quit thing



238 days nicotine free

Posted by Iwannalife Dec 21, 2015

Merry Christmas to each of you may the Lord bless you and yours at Christmas and keep you throughout the year and bless each of you with many more.

I have been so busy I can not keep track of how often I write here. I just check in each day and read the current blogs during my lunch break. I am keeping busy cooking meals for shut-ins and visiting with them and visiting with my hospice folks. This afternoon I am headed to the Childrens hospital with about 500 hundred gifts for the little patients that will not be able to be home for Christmas. 

On Christmas day I will be having all 3 of my children and thier spouses, 8 of my grandchildren, 1 grandson -in-law, 1 great grandaughter, and my mother of 91 years here. I am so excited and feel so blessed.

I love all of you and as always thank you so deeply for the support you have given me to make this my final quit.

I like this quit thing.



200 days today!

Posted by Iwannalife Nov 13, 2015

I have been nicotine free for 200 days today! The days are getting easier but oh so much more busy, lol. I think that I have substituted water for nicotine and some days I feel like I am sloshing, haha but I love it! I am in the process of making nativity costumes for our youth at Church for the Christmas pageant, that is between playing with the grandbabies and great grandbaby and visiting with shut-ins.  I have been so blessed since I have quit smoking and had my surgery to my legs and my stroke recovery, and it is has been quite the journey. I am so thankful that all of you have been along with me. I know that I have not been blogging much, but I have been reading what all of you have been posting.

Finally after 200 days I am not thinking "ok - I need to find something to do to keep from thinking about smoking" to "ok - it is time to take a break and drink some water you have been at it long enough". I have realized that I do not think of myself as a smoker used to be. But, when you are around someone who smokes cigars all day and the smell makes you sick when you catch a whiff it is easy to stay quit! I find myself wondering sometimes how in the world did I ever stand the smell of my clothes, my house, my car, myself! I offened my daughter-in-law the other day when she came to my house. My famiky all know that since I quit smoking there is absolutely NO smoking allowed in my house. She had an e-cig, and she pulled it out and puffed on it, I reminded her of my no smoking rule and she tried to argue that it was 'only' vapor. I told her that it may be only vapor but I could smell the residue smell of it and did not want it in my house, she left upset. OH WELL my house , my rules lol. I have a feeling that Thanksgiving dinner will be an exciting day!!

Praying y'all have a very blessed Thanksgiving. For those of you that have been quit for a while remember to guard your quits and count them as blessings. For those who are just starting on their quit journey stay vigilant and count each minute, each hour, each day of not smoking as a blessing.

God Bless y'all.

I like this quit thing.


Just checking in with all you guys and gals. I am doing great without nic, I thought our breakup would surely have killed me but it turns out that just the opposite has happened! I am more alive now that ever when nic and I were an item. I am sending this warning out to everyone, beware of nic, he comes across as a smooth talker and he is sneaky and will try to trick you into thinking he is best for you., when in all actuality he will take everything from you and leave you with nothing. He even tries to get you to drag your friends along for the downward ride. Keep alert and protect your quits, don't let nic slide back in on you.

Y'all have a safe and fun Halloween!

I like this quit thing,



oh WOW!

Posted by Iwannalife Oct 5, 2015

161 days nicotine free. Is that really me looking back at me in that mirror? I never realized how gray my skin was looking with nicotine. My granddaughter asked me if I was using a new make-up or moisturizer, because she says when she gets my age she wants to glow like I do, lol. Needless to say she made my day and I also asked her what she wanted because she was buttering me up, haha. She just looked at me and said no really Gammas, look, here is a picture that I  took of you last Christmas and here is the one I just took of you. Looking at them side by side even I saw a difference. I even noticed that some of the hard lines around my mouth are softening, I always called them my pucker lines, but the truth is they were my puffing lines! With each passing day I see more and more of the benefits of being nicotine free. All the benefits that I had heard about not smoking and always thought was a bunch of hogwash are creeping up and slapping me in the face and I am loving it.

I like this quit thing.





Posted by Iwannalife Sep 12, 2015

I changed my profile pic today! After being on this site for 145 days and making it to 138 DOF I put my Great Granddaughter up as my profile pic!

Having a bit of a rough today, I actually had a craving for a smoke today,worse one I have had through my whole quit! I locked myself in the bathroom and cried it out, I know this is not the most mature way to handle a craving but it was so strong it physically hurt me and it scared me to think that I was actually contemplating going to the store to get a pack of smokes. The store is within walking distance of my house only 3/10 of a mile from door to door so that really made it hard also. I have told the girls that work there to not sell me cigarettes no matter how much I beg them but I cannot let them be responsible for my quit. I have to keep this quit thing in my control, I have made it this far and will continue to make it, just one minute, one hour, one day at a time. NOPE forever will be my first line of defense and a locked bathroom door will be the second, haha.

I like this quit thing to much to let it go now. I have come through the fire and am now at the point of seeing the rejuvenation begin and I refuse to let it all be destroyed!

I am heading to the kitchen now to make a cheese cake for my wonderfully supportive husband, who took his smokes and hid them from me, and refused to let me have one. Even when I called him some choice colorful names, lol.

I pray today that each one of us protects our precious quits just as strongly as we protect our children, grand children and great grandchildren from all harm.

I like this quit thing.


Day 134 of no nicotine! Been staying busy with volunteer work for hospice patients. It breaks my heart when I see the family of a loved one dying from lung cancer because of smoking and they way they easing the pain is by smoking. I have referred this site to so many people in the past 134 days, after admitting to them that I was an addict of nicotine at one time also. I have always heard that ex-drinkers, ex-smokers, ex-whatever addiction were always the most cynical of those who continue to do what you gave up. I pray that I am not being cynical and pray that I am helping others to see what a controlling boss addiction can be, and at the same time showing them they can take control over it. 

Thanks for being here for me y'all.

I like this quit thing.



I am still hanging in

Posted by Iwannalife Sep 1, 2015

126 days! still nic free and loving it! Even though it has not been an easy journey I have enjoyed every bit of it, yes even the bumps along the way. I have learned that the bumps you hit along the journey to be an EXsmoker  are well worth hitting because the rewards are so GRAND! I can breathe, I am able to walk once again, (up to  2.5 miles a day! yay me!) I can play with my grandchildren without getting dizzy and winded. I have met many friends here that have helped me along my journey and given me great encouragement.

I like this quit thing,