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Expectations lead to Results

Giulia
Member
2 19 5

 

Many of us speak on having the right mindset when approaching a quit.  Start off with a negative, a doubt, an "oh I've failed at this so many times before I probably will this time too" will likely ensure your next failure.  And thinking "this is gonna be the HARDEST THING I'VE EVER DONE!" will inevitably  manifest itself for you in just that way.  So it's important to first recognize the negative self talk, then spend the time necessary to change it.  Part of the work required to overcome this addiction is to challenge that negative thinking within yourself and learn how to turn it around. 

I hapened upon this article a few minutes ago and was spurred on to share it.  (Well, the following excerpts anyway.)  It just seemed so relevant to the quit journey.

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"Your expectations, more than anything else in life, determine your reality. When it comes to achieving your goals, if you don’t believe you’ll succeed, you won’t.  (If you don't believe you can quit - you won't.)

Research from LSU shows that people who believe in themselves use more metacognitive functions than those who don’t. This means that they use more of their brains and have more brainpower to solve problems. Metacognition is especially important for achievement as it ensures that you approach problems from many different angles and adapt your approach as needed.

The tricky thing about your expectations is that they impact other people too. As far back as the 1960s, Harvard research demonstrated the power of our beliefs in swaying other people’s behavior. When teachers in the studies were told that certain (randomly selected) children were smart, those kids performed better, not only in the classroom, but also on standardized IQ tests.

Indeed, we get the most out of other people when we believe in them. (We believe in you and want you to do the same!)    Research shows that this happens because when we believe in someone,

      
  • We treat them better than people we think will fail,
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  • We give them more opportunities to succeed than we give those we think will fail,
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  • We give them more accurate, helpful feedback than we give others, and
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  • We do more teaching because we believe it’s time well spent.

Letting your doubts cloud your belief in someone (including yourself!)  (or something) practically ensures their failure. Medical professionals call this the “nocebo” effect. Patients who have low expectations for medical procedures or treatments tend to have poorer results than those who expect success, even with regards to well-established treatments. If a doctor uses a treatment with a clinically verified high rate of success but presents it in a negative light, the probability of a negative outcome increases.

Your expectations shape your reality. They can change your life, emotionally and physically. You need to be extra careful about (and aware of) the expectations you harbor as the wrong ones make life unnecessarily difficult. Be especially wary of the expectations that follow—they give people all kinds of trouble.

Life should be fair

We’ve all been told a million times (and likely told other people) that life isn’t fair, but in spite of what we know about the intricacies of injustice, it’s a concept that doesn’t quite sink in in practice. A surprising number of us subconsciously expect life to be fair, and we believe that any unfairness that we experience will somehow be balanced out, even if we don’t do anything about it. If you’re stuck in that mindset, it’s time to get over it. When something “unfair” happens, don’t rely on outside forces to get you back on your feet. (and definitely don't smoke over it!)  Sometimes there isn’t any consolation prize, and the sooner you stop expecting there to be, the sooner you can take actions that will actually make a difference. 

Opportunities will fall into my lap

One of the most important things a person can do is stick his or her neck out and seek opportunity. Just because you deserve a raise, a promotion, or a company car, doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. You have to make it happen. You have to put in the hard work, then go and get what’s yours. If we limit ourselves to what’s given to us, we are at the mercy of other people. When you take action, think “what steps do I need to take?” “what obstacles are in my way and what do I need to do to remove them?” and “what mistakes am I making that take me away from my goals rather than toward them?”  (Absolutely the same with quitting.  You have to put in the hard work, discover the steps necessary to overcome the obstacles and learn from your mistakes.)

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Written by Travis Bradberry (except for that which is in blue, which I added.)

19 Comments
About the Author
Member since MAY 2008. I quit smoking March 1, 2006. I smoked a pack and a half a day for about 35 years. What did it take to get me smoke free? Perseverance, a promise not to smoke, and a willingness to be uncomfortable for as long as it took to get me to where I am today. I am an Ex but I have not forgotten the initial difficult journey of this rite of passage. That's one of the things that's keeping me proudly smoke free. I don't want to ever have another Day 1 again. You too can achieve your goal of being finally free forever. Change your mind, change your habits, alter your focus, release the myths you hold about smoking. And above all - keep your sense of hewmer. DAY WON - NEVER ANOTHER DAY ONE. If you still want one - you're still vulnerable. Protect your quit!