Slipping and Sliding - Tales of Trouble Part V

[Giulia]

Giulia Permalink Reply by Giulia on July 28, 2008 at 8:45am
         Hey Jennifer, God bless ya for stickin' with this. Just proves there is something so strong within you that wants to be free of this addiction. And that inner desire haunting you will be part of what will get you to the other side. But first you have to jump in the nasty oil slicked seas. We build this quitting thing up in our minds until it's HUMONGOUS. Its not, really. But we make it so.
    If you haven't checked out this website, do: Quit Smoking Online. It's a free course and the psychology of it I found really helpful.
    "It is YOU who generate the pleasurable-relaxed safe feelings you experience when you smoke and..... it is YOU who have associated them totally with the act of smoking.
    After you became addicted to smoking, the process became automatic.
    What this means is that every time you smoke or more importantly, even think of having a cigarette, you unconsciously release these feelings.
    This, in turn, causes the release of certain chemical secretions in your brain and nervous system which cause you to experience that ' certain feeling' you get when you smoke.
    It is YOU by your mental intention to smoke that causes the release of these brain chemicals - not the cigarette.
    We have unconsciously transferred pleasurable feelings of peace, relaxation and safety that we have allowed ourselves to experience to the daily act of smoking."
    Just some of the interesting material on there. Keep reading stuff (like the Allen Carr book) and keep reinforcing the positive reasons to quit, not the scary ones. Sit back, take deep breaths and experiment in ways to calm your troubled soul, to calm the rising fear. We can't reinforce more the fact that one has to take this a day at at time. Thinking in terms of forever is too big for many of us. You need to accept the discomfort of cravings, is all. You fight the battle by accepting the cravings, not fighting them. Kind of weird, isn't it? Embrace them to be free.
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polly Permalink Reply by polly on July 28, 2008 at 10:08am
         Jennifer, there are so very many people here who relapse time and time again. However, many of them eventually end up being successful! Never, ever be afraid to let us down or beat yourself up. The key is for you to look at your thoughts that led you to smoke and evaluate them. For example, how could I haven handled this without smoking? Smoking won't solve your stress. I agree with you about the word quitting. In Allen Carr's book, "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking," he says that instead of saying quiting, look at it as regaining your life and health back! Try to keep thoughts, such as "Smoking is not an option," in your mind, along with "There is no such thing as one cigarette for me!" These thoughts can help take the little whispers in your head that are telling you to smoke. I believe you CAN do this Jennifer. You have to believe that too!! Take care and know that we are all here to help in anyway we can!!
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Laura Permalink Reply by Laura on July 28, 2008 at 2:08pm
        Wow, am I ever glad I found this discussion! I've been feeling like a complete loser for the last couple of days: I managed to quit cold for 3 days, and on the 3rd day, found out my in-laws were paying a surprise visit THE NEXT DAY! I was so p'o'd, and my husband said "well, maybe we picked a bad week to quit." that's all it took. So for 3 days I detoxed my body and let one little deal blow it all.
    It's been great to read your stories, and great to get ideas from all of you. Mostly it's great to not feel alone and bitterly disappointed!
    My new quit date is August 4th, and while I still want to go cold, I do have back up lozenges, just in case....
    Laura
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Jim Taddeo Permalink Reply by Jim Taddeo on July 28, 2008 at 4:26pm
         Now for me in the past, I have pulled that exact scenario more than once, I was not in the mindset that I was an Ex-Smoker, or Ex-User. I was in the mindset that I was a smoker that just wasn't smoking and really all I needed was a GOOD excuse to justify picking up a smoke, or a carton, and continue on smoking away. I am an addict. That is the way my mind thinks. I can do that with any substance and as a matter of fact any activity that I associate with comfort, pleasure, self esteme boosts, ego boosts, and etc. Anything that will make dopamine in my brain I am suceptible to become addicted to. So I need to be aware of that. I also need to understand that it is not a reason to get down on myself for being weak, or lacking in a strong will. Here is a prime example of that. I, in my drinking days, fully understood what a horrible deal it was to drink and drive and most of all get caught doing that. So I used to walk about 4 1/4 miles to the bar up the road and drink away. Now that is not a weak willed or physically weak person. That is addiction HARD AT WORK! So I'm wired a bit different. Once I got it through my goofy head that I could put that kind of effort into things that are good for me and found out that it was just a matter of my attitude I literally switched my addiction to iced tea and now oxygen. It works for me. I also trust in my Higher Power to get me along. It works but it is very personal. YOU MUST DECIDE THAT YOU ARE A NON-SMOKER and make it real. It sucks, as you are well aware, for a little while, and then it's just you the ADDICT getting on with being FREE. YOU CAN DO IT! I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I AM ONE OF THE WORST YOU CAN IMAGINE, THAT IS STILL ALIVE, AND I'VE DONE IT! QUITTING IS EASY, STAYING QUIT IS HARD! BUT IT IS SOOOOOOOO WORTH IT.
    Come on with us...... 🙂 You are welcome and you are worth it! Every week is a GREAT week to quit and stay quit. That way you can irritate the inlaws all the time IN YOUR HOUSE! Not that doing that is good for your relationship but if it keeps you from smoking I say do it! LOL NOOOOOO! Just Kidding! But please do quit smoking.........CAUSE ITS REALLY REALLLY REALLLY BAD FOR YOU!
    LIGHTEN UP not LIGHT UP!
    RELAX AND ENJOY YOUR FREEDOM! YOU DESERVE IT!
    God bless you,
    Jim
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Mike in @lanta Permalink Reply by Mike in @lanta on August 4, 2008 at 4:53am
         Preach on Jim! If you wanna change your life, change your mind.
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THERESA Permalink Reply by THERESA on August 21, 2008 at 8:03am
         I quit for 28 days, then I found out my hubby ( he's in the Marine corp ) he had to go away for school for 6 weeks, so I told myself I'd only some for the first week just to help me cope.... long story short I haven't put them down and he's coming home this week-end ( August 23 or 24 ) , I've been to ashamed to even visit this site... I was feeling so much better then I blew it !!!! I need this site so much and the loving and yes sometimes the tough love also, my new quit day is Sept.1.... my grandson's 2 b-day. I've started going to counseling, I know there will always be some type to stress that comes up, and I want to learn better ways to deal with it other than going back to old BAD habits, so everyone who reads this PLEASE pray for me and also help me to learn to forgive myself for not seeing it thru, because it DIDN"T make it any easier just harder to breath, GOD BLESS ALL
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Giulia Permalink Reply by Giulia on August 21, 2008 at 8:25am
         "Only have some for the first week," Now that's a dumb as saying "I'll just have one." Come on girl, you knew better than that! And you KNOW better than that.. You don't give up cigarettes by having a few or one - ever.
    Your husband went through basic training to get where he is today. It wasn't a whole lot of fun, took deprivation and effort. Think of yourself in Basic Smokefree Training. You climbed the wall and fell flat on your back in the mud. Take a lesson from him: wash yourself off and get out to that wall again. You don't need prayers, you need stick-to-it-iveness. Be a Marine's wife. Be tough.
    The quickest way to forgive yourself is to let go of the failed attempt and jump back in. Don't waste time and emotions looking behind you. Look ahead.
    Tough loving you,
    part of your cheering section
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Jim Taddeo Permalink Reply by Jim Taddeo on August 21, 2008 at 9:37am
         What you REALLY need to see is that you don't have a BAD HABIT. You are ADDICTED to NICOTINE. That is why a relapse is NOT EVER "a few until he comes back" or "for the first week" or a thousand other EXCUSES TO USE! Think about it. Your Life could very well depend on it. The quality of you life definitely depends on it. Don't beat yourself up. It won't do any good and usually helps to "allow" you in your mind to continue using. You don't WANT to do that do you? Figure out for yourself and I mean deep down inside that you are going to quit using the nicotine you are ADDICTED to and then quit FOREVER! I'm praying for you. 🙂
    God Bless,
    Jim
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V Permalink Reply by V on August 21, 2008 at 4:22pm
         Theresa
    28 days thats good, remember when you couldn't make 3. Quitting is a learning thing be kind to yourself and this time make it 29, after all we can only quit one day at a time. Next time that ugly monster rears his ugly head , and you know he will, tell your self that you can only smoke on your wedding day so there. Delay Delay Delay.
    Good Luck
    V
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V Permalink Reply by V on August 27, 2008 at 8:51am
       You have a great spirit. Dealing with a long term illness is hard. Now add quitting a long term addiction on top of everything eles can make a person never want to get up. The secret is to be your own Boss. When the blues hit tell yourself " Hey I don't have time to deal with this stuff." Talk yourself into I am the boss here and nothing will stop me from making my goals nor will nothing make me smoke, When you get tough with that smoking devil he runs away. You are in charge of you and your the greatest and strongest person in your life. We will win this battle it's one day at a time. Keep up the great work and never stop quitting.

    V