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I'd Like a Cigarette Now

Giulia
Member
0 10 4

So what?  After 6 and a half years you think I'm gonna go jump in my car at 10 pm and charge off into the night to my local cigarette store?  I wouldn't even know where the nearest one was.  (Isn't THAT nice!)  I don't even know what they cost these days.  Looks like around $31+ for a carton (yeah, I noticed the sign as I went by some discount cigarette store today, 'cause yeah - even after 6 years I still "notice" those things).  But I don't think that low figure includes TAX. 'Cause six years ago when I was smoking I was paying at least that and they've increased a whole lot since then. 

Here in good ole Tennessee anyway that's the local price sans tax.  And this is tobacco country after all.  With tax?  Well you smokers can tell me.  I hear tell buying a pack of cigarettes in New York City, for example, is - what?  7 or 8 dollars these days.  You gotta be making a LOT of money to feed that habit there.

Just because I had a momentary desire for a cigarette doesn't mean I have to fulfill that desire.  Nor will I.  Nor do you.  Because it's already passed.  They don't have a word count capacity on this site, but by this many words of jabber on this blog that urge has already passed for me.  (Clue to the newbie: Blog - it will help pass a craving moment.)

Now my urge ain't the same as yours if you're a beginner at this.  You're hurtin' bad.  I know.  But you need to know that every urge you get through, every craving you master makes the next one easier to handle.  Makes the next one a wee bit less intense.  Makes the next one a wee bit more thrown into the "forgetting" pot of it.  Our death to our smoking selves is "a sleep and a forgetting"  (Forgive me Wordsworth for bastardising you here).  But truly, after a time we forget the need, the cravings, the desire.  And it is a happy forgetting.  And it will happen to you if you hang in long enough. 

And yet - and yet - we'll get a reminder every now and then.  A little suggestion of "what used to be." Just like I did half an hour ago now.  This is for the "mid-term" quitters.  I won't define it because it's different for each of us.  But I think you know who you are when I say that.  You'll know instinctively.  And this is also for the long-term quitters like me.  You need to keep up ongoing protection on your quit.  You need to be aware, understand and accept that no matter how many days or years you have smoke free behind you - the urge will arise.  And you have to have enough experience with those out-of-blue cravings (no matter how minor they are) to recognize them for what they are.  And they are relapse traps.  Plain and simple. 

Every good thought on a cigarette is a relapse trap.  Every desire for one, is a relapse trap.  The warning bells are clear.  We must learn to heed them.

Stay free everyone.

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About the Author
Member since MAY 2008. I quit smoking March 1, 2006. I smoked a pack and a half a day for about 35 years. What did it take to get me smoke free? Perseverance, a promise not to smoke, and a willingness to be uncomfortable for as long as it took to get me to where I am today. I am an Ex but I have not forgotten the initial difficult journey of this rite of passage. That's one of the things that's keeping me proudly smoke free. I don't want to ever have another Day 1 again. You too can achieve your goal of being finally free forever. Change your mind, change your habits, alter your focus, release the myths you hold about smoking. And above all - keep your sense of hewmer. DAY WON - NEVER ANOTHER DAY ONE. If you still want one - you're still vulnerable. Protect your quit!