Six years ago when I quit I was not alone. I was then on another support site and there was a fellow by the name of David Callahan who had quit two months earlier than I. And we connected in a way that has kept the beauty of communication open since. We wildly danced together in creative prose during that initial quit journey. Alive with the fire of cravings. He wrote me a poem for my 6th which I'd like to share with you. Because it's not just about OUR journey, but speaks to all journeys I think. For they and we are not that differen't, after all.
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WE BREATHE
Nicotine’s bad love.
Bad love, spotted from a mile away,
But there we were,
Back for more
Watching ourselves
Sucker lick the rusted chain that bound us
With the yellow tongue of a cowards.
Our conscience fell lighter than ash
At the flick of a wrist
And thoughtlessness
Blended without effort into space
Like a grey blue ghost feigning peace.
We got awfully good at trading in faith for fatalism.
But somehow, we won,
We quit.
Despite our love for losing.
We dug the silver dagger deep and steady,
Spit on that tyrant’s grave and walked away.
Two cageless birds are we now
Peering down at that old woman in the courtyard.
Talking to the other 98 sparrows
Who huddle in homely habit
And fear fall-frightening flight.
But are we any wiser?
Are we more like lions
And less like goats
When it comes to that enemy within us;
That thing experts call addiction but
You and I could never pronounce
Because of its shapeless intimate face?
We still walk warily
Past that haunted house on the corner,
Where we used to live,
Eyeing the tiger lady and
Smelling Hyde’s sweat on Dr. Jekyll’s perfume.
Nicotine,
That sly slaying Cain
We once enabled,
Is never far away
But our growing distance
From him is much closer.
And today, Giulia,
After six years,
We breathe.
We breathe. (By David Callahan)
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Keep breathing, my friends. And if you haven't quit yet - please do.
