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Removing Friends

Posted by Giulia Champion Nov 26, 2011

I decided to delete some of my "friends" because, well, they're probably not on here any more. ( And as our pages only allow 100, I'd rather see the new ones there.)   Many of them were from years and years ago.  Some of them were really interesting.  They all had good intentions.  They all wanted to quit.  They were from all walks of life and all ages.   I hope they made it.  In reviewing them, though, I suspect that many didn't.  Just a guess on my part, but .... I hope I'm wrong. 

Some I have not deleted.  Because I had more of an intense on-line relationship with them and...I can't seem to really let them go.  Because they wanted it, so bad.  This freedom that I have.  And I so hope they come back - if they have lost their quits.  Though some of them simply never gained them to begin with.  And some - no doubt - just have remained smoke free with no need to return.  But - I don't know...for me, I periodically go back to my initial quit site and say "HERE I AM SMOKE FREE FOR 5 YEARS!"  or whatever.  If you've been helped and made it, ya just need to go back and say:  Yes, it's possible!"  To encourage the many strugglers.  Even if it's once a year on your quit date.  You neeed to do that.

I hope all of my new friends make it.  I'd love to have a list of friends that far exceeds the 100 allowed on my page that are all successful quitters. 

...just passing thoughts as I go through this quit life on this quit night.....during this fifth year....


The Holiday Trap

Posted by Giulia Champion Nov 23, 2011

This is a repost from Relapse Traps.  Thought it couldn't hurt and might just help:




OK, so you're getting together because you want to - or you don't want to but have to.  Either way there are going to be people in your group that you don't get along with.  Never have, never will.  Or perhaps you don't even know, but suspect it will be a rotten time.  Or you're with your family and the majority of them smoke.  And now you're in the process of quitting.  Or, you're meeting an old girlfriend or boyfriend during this time period, or, your least favorite aunt will be there, or the sister who ruined your wedding, or the mother who never cared, or the brother who was never what you wanted him to be or the father who just wouldn't come at all, or the nephew who's never grown up, or the uncle who always treated you like dirt, or....

Doesn't really matter, if you get my drift.  You're gonna be with close relatives either emotionally or with blood lines and there's bound to be some contention.  Whenever familes get togeterh en masse - that's just a given.  So accept it.  And don't let it make you lose your quit.  You know these people.  You know how they're gonna respond.  It should't really be a great surprise.  And you really shouldn't expect anything to change.

What's changed, however, is YOU.  You've become wiser.  You've grown up.  You've decided to take back your life.  YOU have the upper hand with any of these people.   Because unless they've been through it - they haven't a clue.   Don't let them get to you and your quit..  Don't let their emotional influence ruin the beauty of your new strength.  You're just coming out of your chrysalis.  You're vulnerable.  Don't  let 'em get to ya! 

Keep the faith. The site, during this changeover process WILL become easier to use.  Read and learn how to fix your particular problem.  There are a  whole bunch of posts about the problems people are having and how to fix them.  Do your research.  Look around.  You'll find answers.   Some things haven't been ironed out yet, but trust that it will become easier.  If not because of something THEY do to make it so, by something YOU do to make it so.  We are not sheep to be led.  We can forge our own path.  That's what individualism is all about.  Don't just *****, moan and complain, discover for yourself how to make this site work for you.  The people here are incredible.  You know that.  So hold on, hang tight and figure it out for yourself.  You are important to us.  We don't want you to leave.

Trust also that your quit will become easier.  Change is difficult.  No matter WHAT the change.  Again, you have to do your research.  You have to read and learn about your addiction.  You may think you know it all.  A craving is a craving and you hurt.  But when you know the "why," when you understand it intellectually, it just adds another weapon to combat it in your arsenal.  And you need a whole bunch of weapons to fight this addiction.  Or - you don't.  I've also known those who just said "That's it!" and walked away from smoking in the moment.  But if you're on this site, chances are you're not there - yet.

As a five year quitter TRUST that if you hang in long enough, and keep saying a very loud NO to every craving, if you allow NO EXCUSES - you WILL make it to a long term quit.  A "forever" quit.  Where you no longer crave a cigarette.  That blissful, amazing place where that is true.  Are you willing to do that?  Are you prepared to do that?  To hang in long enough for that to happen?   If you're not prepared - get yourself prepared.  And you do that by reading everything you can get your eyeballs attached to on this site and any other source that provides help in this area.  There are many MANY wonderful people here to help you.  But you have to help yourself in the process.  You have to learn some discipline.  You have to be willing to be uncomfortable.   Are YOU?  Be honest.  'Cause if you're NOT willing to be uncomfortable, you won't make it.  In my opinion only.  And that's what these blogs are - our opinions only.

Some things may not speak to you at all on here.  And that's OK.  We're all different and have different "takes" on how to do this.  But there are no long term quitters on here (call them “elders” or - whatever) there ain’t a one of us that doesn't agree on the fact that you must hold true to not taking another puff - no matter what.  There ARE no excuses.  Really.  If you allow an excuse to pick up and puff, you’ve lost.  You’ve lost that beautiful 3 day, 5 day, 20 day... you’ve lost your quit.  We say it over and over and over again until we're blue in the face and still say it.  Not One Puff Ever.  It's a really boring, unimaginative mantra - this NOPE - that we speak of. But when you "get it," you'll be spouting it too.

I'm here, after five years of being quit, because I want to see you succeed.  That's how much it means to me.  To spend my time writing a blog like this.  Hope you get here and hoping  you’ll do the same  to pass it on when I’m gone.

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