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THE SERIOUSNESS OF FAILURE

Giulia
Member
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Yesterday I posted a blog entitled NICODDEMON'S LIES.  (Click on the link if you want to read it.  It's long.  Don't let it scare you.)  HWC on this site was good enough to to inform me of it's author, John Polito, over at whyquit.com. 

I wrote him to thank him.  Thought some of you newbies, especially the younger ones, might benefit from our exchange.  You matter so much to so many of us on here.  Don't continue smoking.  Please quit.  Before it's too late. 

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John,

I had copied your blog on NICODEMON'S LIES from when I first quit 5 years ago.  I had gotten it from somebody else and reposted it on my first quit smoking site (unofficialnicanon).   Yesterday I reposted that material on BecomeAnEx.  If you check out the link, you'll see some of the thank yous I got.  There were more but I reposted it a day later using different margins, so the first group of people who enjoyed it you don't see.

Anyway, the last person who posted told me that it was YOU who wrote it.  Just wanted you to know that your wisdom lives long and strong and keeps going on.  And we in the quit smoking community have benefited much.  I'm over 5 1/2 years quit and so glad of people like you who taught me how to do this.  And just passing it all wondrously on. 

Giulia

My link on BecomeAnEx is https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/people/giulia

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Thanks for the smile, Giulia!   What's important is that we understand the seriousness of failure, that half the smokers we see tomorrow already know how they'll die. 

   
This week my heart's hurt bad.  I didn't want to deal with the hurt Neal's wife is feeling but she called, having watched the man she loves go from diagnosed with lung cancer to dead in just five weeks.  I don't want to go to bed tonight thinking about his 9 year old daughter crying herself to sleep. 
   
I know that tomorrow or the next day Helen from NZ will write about her lung cancer treatments, hoping above hope that God will hand her a miracle.  And Lord knows I pray it happens.
   
What I know, Giulia, is that these middle-aged smoker stories are not unique as this year roughly 2.5 million smokers will be claimed by their addiction during middle-age.  Imagine that, two million who thought that plenty of time remained to get serious about quitting. Wrong!!!
   
Nicotine addiction is a brain wanting disorder in which the mind is fooled into believing that smoking nicotine is as important as eating food or drinking liquids.   Although Nicodemon's Lies is a nice story, why should any active nicotine addict believe its words over the pounding inside their mind telling them that that last fix relieved wanting or that their next fix is as important as food. 
   
It's why we die.  It's why addiction to smoking nicotine is leading cause of preventable death in every developed nation on earth.
   
Thanks for writing, Giulia.  I wish your email had found me in better spirits.  I wish there were a way we could awaken the average nicotine addict to the lie we lived.   Truth is, they have to awaken first and be brave enough to say no to that next fix.  Sadly, it doesn't happen often enough.
   
Still just one rule determining the outcome for all ...  no nicotine today!
   
Breathe deep, hug hard, live long,
   

John  - Gold x12-

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Ah John,

Do not despair so, my new acquaintance.  Yes lives are lost by being too late, but lives are won by people like you, and me, who continue to try to shine the light of hope and truth and triumph over addiction.  I know the despair and frustration of feeling like one can't get the point across to change a life.  But you know - it's not up to us.  It's up to them.  And if we can plant the seed that may germinate, even long after our time of planting - that's ok.  That's all we can do.  When the time is right for them, it will happen with perseverance, or it just won't.  No matter how hard we try to get the point across by bludgeoning or cuddling.

But you know what?  I think successes happen more often than we despair about.  I see people all over BecomeAnEx who are winning.  Yes, there are the losers who give up trying, but we must dwell on the winners in our dark moments, and  remember that we may have made a difference in so many people's lives that we know not of.  And if we are too late, maybe we've given them a few more years. 

May I post your response to me on that blog?  I think it might hit home even more than your original post.  It's so filled with just the raw truth of what smoking does and how it affects those who truly care.  I think I'd entitle it "The Seriousness of Failure." 

Anyway, thank you for such a quick response.  I'm honored.  And I'm so sorry you're experiencing the loss of "too late."  I know just how you feel.  It costs when you care that much.  On a positive note - WhyQuit.com is one of the sites mentioned most often for help on BecomeAnEx.  And much, much wisdom is being passed on.

Do not despair.  Lives are being saved.  Hey - I'm one example.  Ya know??!!!!   

Giulia

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Yes, if clearly within the forum's rules and they have no objection that would be fine in sharing our exchange, Giulia.   But please make sure before doing so.

   
Sorry to sound so negative.  Yes, we're each doing what we can.  But at times I think our time might be better spent working on the front end, to prevent youth and young adult dependency onset.  I say that because increasingly we're working with new quitters who became hooked since the founding of WhyQuit and Freedom in 1999.   If only we could have had a heart to heart sit down prior to that first puff. 
   
Sincere regards,
   
John  
   
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About the Author
Member since MAY 2008. I quit smoking March 1, 2006. I smoked a pack and a half a day for about 35 years. What did it take to get me smoke free? Perseverance, a promise not to smoke, and a willingness to be uncomfortable for as long as it took to get me to where I am today. I am an Ex but I have not forgotten the initial difficult journey of this rite of passage. That's one of the things that's keeping me proudly smoke free. I don't want to ever have another Day 1 again. You too can achieve your goal of being finally free forever. Change your mind, change your habits, alter your focus, release the myths you hold about smoking. And above all - keep your sense of hewmer. DAY WON - NEVER ANOTHER DAY ONE. If you still want one - you're still vulnerable. Protect your quit!