This was just sent to me by Mke in @lanta. And I think it's important for you all to hear it too. A reiteration of the themes: never take it for granted, allways keep your guard up, NOPE. This is a story of how easy it is to lose a quit and how to walk away from a relapse. This is wisdom.
A Danger to Myself
With over 6 years quit you would think urges & triggers would have played themselves out by now. Not so. On my way out of the office yesterday I ran into a co-worker I was sharing a project with. We began talking about our project & he lit a cigarette. Usually when I'm around smoking it shuts off my breathing & I have to leave. Was not the usual day though as the smoke smelled the sweetest since any time during my quit. I stood there & fantasized about smoking. I considered asking for one. It was my old brand too. It was like one of those movie flashbacks & I was enjoying the smell & lighting up. I took a drag & the smoke hit the back of my throat & it woke me up. I remembered the the labored breathing, the burning lungs & the stink. I wasn't listening to what he had to say, my entire being was focused on that cigarette. I came to my senses & excused myself telling him we would talk tomorrow. All of my 6 years & 3 months of NOPE training kicked in & I was able to walk away. The dangerous part was I allowed myself to be taken to that fantasy & purposely dream of smoking again. I realized I'm a danger to myself if I can actually do this & felt stupid for allowing it. Who's to say next time I won't light up? I can't. All I can do is practice NOPE today, this very minute. I'll find out tomorrow If I can remain smoke free tomorrow.
Keep it green y'all!
M n @