I have had this on my mind for quite awhile. My quit this time seems different than my last - my last quit lasted about 3 years.
Last time I quit- I remember how I still struggled with nagging cravings that seemed to eat and gnaw at me- especially at night after i would finish playing music- which is what i do for a living. After playing a "gig" as we refer to local performances'- I would get this awful gnawing about needing the reward of a cigarette- or i would substitute junk food instead. Seemed like i craved something really unhealthy as a reward for some bizarre and deadly reason?
I finally gave up my quit after a summer from hell- where i had a back injury flair up- also we had downsized to a cheaper apartment to save money to buy a home- this place turned out to be a nightmare because of upstairs people constantly making noise- and My special needs stepson going out of control on a regular basis- I just caved and started smoking- again.
When I started back up - this time- i was really huffing them down differently than before- I would finish a cigarette so fast-couldnt get them down quick enough- and wanted one shortly there after. Constantly craving- never could get enough- it had progressed.
I feel like I am an addictive type person- I don't believe substances are addictive- I believe people are- because not everyone gets addicted to the same things- right? Some get addicted to alcohol- some food- some sex-some..... on and on- So people are addictive really- And i believe i fall into that class
Recently I have heard and studied energy healing- and in fact became an energy practitioner- emotions are energy and it takes a lot to hold down emotions that want to come out- I have used many things to hold down these energies that really want to get out.
So this quit- i decided to just let whatever comes up during my quit- to just come out- sometimes i could describe the feelings and where they were in my physical body- lots of time it felt like in the heart- like a heart craving??- sometimes i couldnt- Doesn't matter- I just have done my best to not push down whatever comes up but rather just let it be and come up.
So i believe a crave is packed with different energies- in the first few days- the craves involve the body- I was aching for nicotine- almost and sometimes was painful- was this physical pain or emotional- first few days I believe it is probably both. As time has goes on- and i believe most of the nicotine is gone so craving are mostly mental- just my opinion.
So as i move forward- I get various experiences and sensations- when a crave hits- I make a mental note to address my craving as emotional junk most likely- maybe I get specific remembrances that may lead me to believe a certain emotion is coming related to say' My Mom passing' - sometimes it is just a ball of junk that gets me feeling icky and can't describe it- either way- I don't resist.
I hope this may be of some help to those struggling in the early days Pain is in the resistance I believe
Also a crave may be more than just an addictive urge to a drug- it may contain emotional junk or it may bring up specific remembrances?
I would like to invite anyone that would like to participate to describe what there cravings contain? No right or wrong answers for sure
