I am on Day 9 without smoking, and the war within has only intensified. Depression set in about day 4, and I don't want to post or hardly mention any successes that I have had so far. I feel that it will all be for nothing, as I know that I will return to smoking. I keep trying to make excuses to smoke, but for some reason, I keep hanging on smoke free. I have lost my objectivity, and it is hard to remember why I quit smoking. I keep going over my reasons for quitting, but I am struggling. My main reason for quitting is for health reasons. I do not believe that I can continue and have any chance at a long and healthy life. I have a hard time catching my breath, especially when smoking. Since I have smoked the last 30 years, I hardly know how to live without it. All I have are triggers it seems. If I knew that this depressive feeling and longing for the cigarettes would pass, I think that I might be able to hang in there. At this point, I am having a hard time believing that I will be successful, since my problems only seem to be worsening. I felt better on day 3 than now. I just don't understand it.
