After a very long time as unemployed I started working recently in the airport at the duty-free store as a promoter/salesman. It's nice, I talk to people from all over the world and I am having a good time and the wage is pretty good so far. What I sale is mostly tobacco and alcohol. It's ironic because I don't want to have any connection with cigarettes/cigarillos/cigars but since last month it is my job. I keep learning every day things that I didn't know before and in combination from my smoking experience I am really good at it. Today I sold 418$ cigars. New personal record. Also the last month I am having some really bad family issues which make me very sad. So sad that I am having intense thoughts of smoking every day. And I have been relapsing a lot lately. I bought cigarettes twice. After 5-6 cigarettes I was having a terrible headache. I bought a pack yesterday too. The headache was so severe and my stomach was so terrible that I threw up when I arrived home. I threw up a lot. I was so scared that I said many times inside my head "never again" for real this time. It was not a joke. I can't allow myself again to be in that terrible situation. I write this to confess my mistake. Another thing is that I watch a lot of people who buy cigarettes. Many of them have aged badly, missing teeth, having wrinkles, their skin has been affected. I can understand who is smoking or not when I look at someone. Sometimes I think that what I do is unethical. But then I think it's their choice. They are adults. I don't want to be like them. The smoking lounges are terrible at the airports. It's like a smoking cage. It almost chokes you from the smoking smell. So to summarise, I will keep selling cigarettes and I will not smoke again. I was scared for real when I threw up. I want myself healthy and looking healthy too. Many tell me that I look 25 and I am 29 years old. This puts a smile on my face. I wouldn't want to look 35. So, yeah. Feel free to "punish" me on how bad boy I was. I learned already my lesson and this is my experience so far. I really want sometimes to tell those people who will buy cartons from me that smoking will make them die younger or have health issues but that nicotine is a strong drug. It rules their bodies.