yesterday I got through the not smoking by going through and cleaning my scrapbook table, the mess of using things and not putting them back, scraps of paper, unused photos etc. etc. took me at day to do what I normally could do in an hour but I think the good part of the mind kept me just out of focus enough to not finish in a hurry so I wouldn't smoke........ funny how you can trick yourself just as much as NIC can!!
I dreamt I smoked last night, my first one, I saw my toes go white from smoking, in my dream an awful side effect, I was so scared to get in trouble, and you know who I was scared of........ you guys here on the site....... LOLOL too funny, but in my dream it was the real deal. I wonder if I'm getting through this ok because you guys here and having to admit I smoked again. I know I would hide from my hubby and the boys but hubby knew anyways and never said anything.
got loads to do today, thank goodness hubby's going into town to do the shopping, not that I would pick up a pack of cigarettes but I try to keep myself away from any tempation.
11 days and 185 unsmoked cigarettes, gosh, that sounds lot a load.
We had a client come into the office Friday and she reeked of cigarettes, I mean I could smell it from the boardroom to my desk and not that is disgusted me but it made me put my nose up in the air. I saw a woman yesterday lighting up in her car with kids in it and I thought, YOU'RE A SLAVE, and not THAT's LOOKS GOOD. Also saw a woman light up with a baby in the stoller and thought that poor baby has to suffer through mom's smoking. Even though I didn't smoke in the house, my boys would still smell it outside......
I'm tending to look at smokers as yucky and dirty and low down people and that I'm better than they are. I have no idea why these thoughts are popping into my head but they are.
