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Deena-A.-Yenni Blog

39 posts

I've filled in everything else but it keeps asking me for my quit date to be part of the Freedom Train.  Need help.


1st Free Day

Posted by Deena-A.-Yenni Apr 4, 2017

Lots of anxiety long after waking up...BUT...not until I exercised (that's what works for me) did the anxiety relieve itself (oh yes, I decided to put on the patch but that didn't work either).  So glad I returned to this site and the people in it.



I'm a 55 year old women who has committed to her final quit.  Although heavier then 30 lbs. obese I am happy and determined to get the weight off just like I became to get to my final quit.

I enjoy the outdoors such as camping, bicycling canoeing, snow shoeing and cross country skiing to name a few.  The winter sports inspire me the most because I don't care for the heat.

I've noticed with the weight gain the sports are much more challenging.  I was already overweight before my final quit and only gained an additional 30 lbs. from my quit date which I think is doable for obtaining my quit.  I am now reducing and I will lose the weight.  Don't want to lose my quit.


Brief Description

Happy, overweight at the moment.


No website in profile.


lorain, ohio


camping, canoeing and biking.


good listener, excellent helper.


Heavy heart and mind

Posted by Deena-A.-Yenni Jun 1, 2015

Thank you all for all the wealth of information and incentives to continue my quit.

I am unstable at the moment and my quit faultered.

There is no good reason to lose one's quit.

I will continue my program daily with you all.

My quit will come to be soon.

I'm saddened I let it go.

Whelp.  Here I am.  Sobbing because my Mother and I had words.  It was such a good living arrangement until just recently.  My Mom is in the beginnings of dementia, hasn't been diagnosed, but I've watched her this last year and she has vastly declined in many ways and won't go to the Dr. and get help...she's in denial.  She says she's going to "shout it out".  Smile.

I on the other hand am having some anger, agitation, annoyance issues that are VERY out of character for me.  My NP tells me it's the off-side of being manic and I should be medicated as I wouldn't be very fun to be around.  Well....

My Mom just gave me a mouth full in front of my Sister and her 3rd gave it right back to her....I felt so bad....she lost her train of thinking and wasn't quite sure what to say....the only good thing about it was she stopped pointing her finger at me and telling me what I can and can not do.

I don't like my mannerisms lately.  I wasn't raised to be rude to elders...especially in the household as we were ruled in a hiarchy just like many British homes were. 

Of course I started romancing the cigarette.  I immediately came to the computer and started my blog.  Although I am in tears, they are tears of joy as thru blogging I know I don't need that cigarette....or cigarettes as we all well know.

I'm looking for another Dr. tomorrow for my mental needs.  I realize she couldn't forsee me having adverse reactions to a med she recommended but not returning my phone call within a timely fashion is not excused.

Onward and upward we go!!!

Gooood Morning my non-smoking family!!  I am working my 2nd glorious DOF.  Yesterday I over-ate compared to previous days.  Lots of breads.  Today I will focus and celebrate not only on being free from smoking, but making better, small in portion, food choices.

I do believe that I can lose instead of gain as long as I stay focused and drink plenty of water.

I am already 102 lbs. overweight and not that that's the worst thing compared to being a smoker but I read that being 75 lbs. overweight is when you are being detrimental to your health.

I have returned to having a pedal everyday, weather permitting, and have worked up to 3 mile.  My goal is to have an easy 15 by the end of the Season.  I'm not able to walk any distance at all but hope to remedy that with my peddling increasing my endurance and muscle strength in my legs.

I have noticed an ease in my breathing only in one DOF.  GLORY!!

Seize the Day!!!

Good Morning everyone.  I was soooo done with smoking I started my quit a day early.  I feel the encouragement from the people on this site had a lot to do with my decision and I thank you for that.  Onward and upward we go!!


My Quit Plan

Posted by Deena-A.-Yenni May 29, 2015

Good Morning!  Glad to be a part of this Community again.  I had some mental strife in my life with the changing of my anti-psychotic.  With only taking one pill I had adverse reactions both mentally and physically which I was not happy with.  Sadly, my quit faultered.

I am now back on the mend and want to become a non-smoker permanently.  I want to thank Shawn and Marilynn for checking in on me and keeping me current.

I know I have put in many holes in my armor but will repair that armor with time in.

This site and the people in it have helped encourage me and with knowing that I will prevail.

Regrettably I've had experiences in my past that were hurrendous.  If I gave you details one would think this is not a no smoking site.  But.  These experiences have been heighteded by the presence of my predator recently.  My counselor assures me that these feelings of loss and not feeling safe with prior abuse are normal and to be expected at any time we may be triggered.  That we must rationalize and move forward.

My problem:  I've been very emotional with this quit and melt down in tears at almost anything.  I know from reading prior blogs that this is normal and will pass.  My mind keeps telling me a cigarette will make things better.  Temporaraily of course.

I'm not going to smoke.  I'm really just venting to get it out in the open and on the table.  The people on this site have never let me down in the past and I don't expect anything less for this situation.  Sadly this in not a positive upbeat blog that I normally love to read and grow from.  Nonetheless, this is my blog today.  I feel better already so thanks.


Good Morning!!

Posted by Deena-A.-Yenni May 11, 2015

Here's hoping everyone had a wonderful smoke free Mother's Day. Mine was festive.  Unlike my most recent past I was upbeat, current, active and in the moment.  I did not desire a cigarette but noticed some anxiety around the smokers so I popped in a nic gum and the anxiety calmed.

I hadn't had a piece of the gum in four days and was quite proud of not getting any nicotene in my body but I think I made the right choice in having a chew...perhaps a regular piece of gum may have done the trick, but in the end I got the result I wanted.  No smoking!!


Good Morning!!

Posted by Deena-A.-Yenni May 6, 2015

I am very proud to have the courage to write a blog today.  I'm glad I've found my way back to this site and the people in it.  You were never far from my mind during my relapse.  My quit works best when I participate in  this program and my confidence soars.

Onward and upward we go!  

Hello my Ex Community and family.  I will leaving the comfort of my computer and State of Ohio to venture down to Georgia where my children reside.  Not only am I do for a visit but regrettably it seems my Son has withdrawn from the family to include myself, friends and now his daughter.

I'm concerned for his well being and plan to nuture, caress, enlighten and bring hope back to his life either thru my education and/or a professional's assistance.  I've got lots of good ideas, plans and monies to get his house up and running again and shine for him and his dog Lilly....and hopefully his little girl again.

I'm familiar with the loss of hope and it took me years to regain it.  I plan to give him the tools to do this.  He does have good coping skills which I didn't have to begin with.  I think that's why he's still working full-time and going to school full-time.  I'm told he's a walking Zombie tho.

Regrettably, my phone doesn't have capability to come on-line.  Hopefully I can get to the Library once a week to work my cigarette program.  Please send good thots to us in our journey of wellness.  Thanks once again.  My team of promoters!!


Need to vent

Posted by Deena-A.-Yenni Feb 23, 2015

I am posting this evening because I have things on my mind that might be burdening me to a point of depression.  I was sexually/mentally/physically abused for a 15 year period.  I'm told that I should move on and I have for the most part but my abusers Birthday is this Saturday and for all of the events I have crowded myself with I seem to be eating more, sleeping more just to get thru the day.  I don't want to give him the control he once had over me but I thought if I vented to my family of EXers perhaps the burden of bad memories could be lifted.  No worries on the smoking but the memories of smoking and desiring a cigarette and drugs for that matter have revealed itself once again.  I'm sure this is something that all of us non-smokers have to go thru and don't think it abnormal but wanted to get my feelings off my chest and perhaps move on to more pleasantries.

Onward and Upward.  Thanks for being here.

Whelp.  I am compelled to write my family and tell them about my Freedom today.  I've been dedicated and luckily the withdrawals and urges have been few and far between.  I want to thank all the patrons of this site expecially the elders who led the way.  I had a rough 3 year start but this is my quit and that's how it came about.  To all those starting your quit.  Stay focused.

This is an old blog that I must have neglected to post!!  Over 260 DOF to date!!

Whelp.  I am compelled to write my family and tell them about my Freedom today.  I've been dedicated and luckily the withdrawals and urges have been few and far between.  I want to thank all the patrons of this site expecially the elders who led the way.  I had a rough 3 year start but this is my quit and that's how it came about.  To all those starting your quit.  Stay focused.