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Daniela-3-11-2016 Blog

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Daniela-3-11-2016

Heart breaking day

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Jul 15, 2019

It has been a while since my puppy Nucka, 14 years old Shih Tzu was not well.  We've been through 2 rounds of antibiotics, and she would get better for one day, then her choking would be back. A little while ago, I noticed she was having mini-seizures, blinking her eyes, then going pretty limp afterwards.   Nearly 3 years ago, she had surgery for a melanoma on her palate.  It looks as the tumor grew back, now towards her nose, making it hard/impossible for her to breathe properly, eat or drink properly. This past Saturday, the vet told me "it's her time".

 

She's been a joy to be around, full of life and spunk, she's been the leader of all of us for 13 years she's been with us.

We adopted her when she was 14 months, and loved her like a baby of ours ever since.  She was not a healthy puppy, at 6 months weighing only one pound.  Then eventually she grew bigger, but never heavier than 12 pounds.  As a puppy we treated her liver, as she grew older, she found her health balance.  She lost 2 pounds in the last 4 weeks.

 

The decision to let her go was mine alone, as my husband did not find it in him to agree with me, let alone to support my decision.  Eventually, pressured by our son, he told me last night to do what I think is best.

 

She went to join the angels at 8:30 am today, in my arms, under my tears, and kisses.  She will forever leave in my heart, for only the one who never had a pet does not know how much they love us, how thankful they are for being in our lives, how much they miss us when we are away.

 

Here she is at different times in her life: 

 

Daniela-3-11-2016

A little break

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Jul 1, 2019

Dear friends,

 

Some of you might have noticed I have not been very active lately. My apologies.

Work is heavy, outside work I am also busy, and I feel a bit overwhelmed.

I think a little break from EX will help getting rid of this feeling.  After all, we are all busy, right?

But that feeling, no matter how much you do, you still have more left for the next morning, for next week...little hamster running in his wheel,not going anywhere,  you never stop...You all know it, I know, I just need to shake it off.

My best to all till next time, and thank you for your understanding.

Daniela

Daniela-3-11-2016

Quit and Peonies

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Jun 11, 2019

When I purchased this, on Saturday night, it was just a bud.

Look at it now, and that is how your quit will bloom if you give it time

Accept and trust, your freedom will bloom along with your quit

Daniela-3-11-2016

Reminder to myself

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Jun 10, 2019

 

AND

 

When my day at work was long, the commute was busy, I had to stop at the pharmacy for some essentials, and I got home to argue with "my other half" (whomever in the world invented the notion, I feel more than whole myself), I need to go back on some inspiring moments I collected along the quitting journey...and lift my own spirits up, if all around me they are lower than dirt!!!

We all have these days, right?

To mind my own business, and not offer help, unless asked...

 

I have a lady co-worker, never been work friends, just worked on some projects together; he is very smart, and she knows it, and she seems to walk 3 heads taller than anyone else... She's been a smoker, but never socialized when going out for a smoke, and she mostly works form home.

 

As I have already approached all my friends who are still smoking, even if they aren't planning on quitting now, they took the card with a knowing smile on their faces; the card went to the garbage for sure, right after I walked away.  But it did not matter to me, as long as I knew I walked my half way to help.

 

Today was one of the rare days the lady and I were in the office at the same time; I took a card, approached her and started by saying "if you ever think about quitting"...she handed me the card back and said "I don't want to quit, I like it, I smoke because I am bored, I don't want it".  No reason to insist; I took the card back smiling and wished her a good rest of her day.  And thought: "if someone, over 3 years ago, would have offered me something like that, I would have at least said "thank you", understanding the person does it just because they care".  But as many times we say : "we are all different" and she will quit, when, if ever, she'll be ready to do so.

 

I won't lie and say I did not care that she pushed back so hard, yet, she did not invite me to share anything with her, not even a hello today   So I only got in return what I deserved, and that is how life is...definitely not a reason to smoke over...

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And some answers:

  1. I did not want to acknowledge smoking is an addiction
  2. It was my only “vice”
  3. Because I thought being a provider equal with my husband in terms of revenue we brought in the house, and on top of that a reliable wife and a dedicated mom, I felt “entitled” to have smoking as my own reward (hubby has his drinks at the end of the day, our son had his friends, I had my smoking)
  4. Having tried to quit several times I was positively sure it was hard; so I was avoiding the “suffering” of quitting

It kept metabolism going, it was my friend on every diet: “can’t eat now, have a smoke, the hunger will pass for a while”

5. Spending time with myself was always precious for me; and if sometimes hubby followed me outside and we hung out over my smoke, most of the times I did it alone, maybe with just my pets who are polite that way, and don’t ask me questions, never disturbing my thoughts

 

And for all of you out there pondering the decision, the “answers” are my “lies” to justify keeping smoking, here are the real facts, all of us EX know today:

 

  • Smoking is an addiction; but once you accept it as such, you gain the knowledge quitting is possible
  • My “vice” was not innocent, it was destroying anything on its way; liver, blood vessels, immune balance, all going insidious, but all real today.  Still looking for the courage to schedule the low dose CT scan; there is a real fear there, not so much of malignant nodules, as much as the whole insecurities around some nodules I know I have since I was a kid, and which doctors never really diagnosed. They will, with today’s technology be investigated till I’ll eventually be cleared, like many times in the past.
  • Other self-rewards could have been used, but because of #1, I kept believing in #3!  I love good smells, and OMG how much more quality perfume I could have had with the money I spent on cigarettes
  • Yes, there are some uncomfortable times at the beginning, but the freedom you gain from quitting, soon enough erases those difficult first weeks.  Like I learned here , “no one died of cravings”, but so many did of smoking
  • It is right, I seem to have a hard time losing weight anymore, but I take being obese over lung cancer any day; and my working on the additional pounds is not a lost battle; I did not put down my weapons as of yet.
  • I found other ways (meditation, yoga) to secure my time with myself, and I know they are helping me get healthier not sicker.

 

If you still have doubts, please believe my written words, I share them with the hope to help you make the right decision and join our ranks, where we count our Days of Freedom, our Saved Money, and our Lucky days to be alive. 

In the subconscious mind; over which we have very little power.

 

And look at the picture (by Dr Joe Dispenza) of our minds.

 

To me it explains why it is so hard to quit.

 

Also why meditation helped me quitting; and/or any other activity which allows one to access the subconscious mind (deep state of relaxation brought by music, painting, dancing, whatever helps the mind stay in the now, and forget the old emotions, beliefs, routine activities) and modify the patterns residing in it.

 

Take what you need, leave the rest.

 

 

From an article by MICHELLE MAROS

Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life's Creative Director and resident writer. 

 

“I’m realistic. I expect miracles.” – Wayne Dyer

I really love miracles, and honestly I expect miracles every single day.

This sentence may have many of you scratching your heads because when many of us think of miracles we think of people walking on water or curing incurable diseases. Which, yes, those are miracles as well. The miracles that I encounter daily are the miracles of the mind and spirit.

I’ve been studying A Course in Miracles a lot lately, and it has taught me so much about true miracles. From this text, I’ve learned that miracles are a shift of perception from fear to love. A miracle is an act of love; a remembrance of who we truly are. From this vantage point, maybe you begin to see why I started this week’s blog off in saying that I expect miracles daily.

You may be wondering now how you too can experience miracles in your daily life. So here is a quick miracle checklist I’ve put together for you:

  • Meditate daily
  • Set powerful, positive intentions
  • Practice present moment living
  • When stressed, remember that you can choose your thoughts and reactions
  • Cultivate an attitude of gratitude
  • Remember that love is our true purpose
  • Forgive others
  • Forgive yourself
  • Love yourself unconditionally
  • Trust that life unfolds as it should

These are just a few ideas to get you started in the miracle mindset! I think you will find that when you incorporate these tips into your life you absolutely will find yourself more in the flow of life, which brings a sense of inner peace, abundance, and pure joy “Miracles are natural. When they do not occur something has gone wrong.” – A Course in Miracles

 

I hope these resonate with you as they did with me.  Because no one but ourselves are the creators of our ever day. It is our intent and reactions making us happy or sad, accepting or mad, loving or indifferent.

Quitting smoking is a miracle.

May every day bring you miracles.

Love

Daniela

Daniela-3-11-2016

Gratitude

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 May 2, 2019

What are you grateful to have in your life?

 

I am thankful for everything I have in my life

I am grateful for the pain I once felt because it made me stronger and wiser

I am grateful for the pain I will feel in the future because it brings me closer to my dreams

I am so grateful now that I have received my desires

I have the courage to follow my dreams

I trust my intuition to make the right decisions

I create more opportunities in my life

Taking action is easy and effortless for me

I am able to let go and follow my heart's desire

I attract my desire in unexpected ways

I now let this go and let the Universe manifest my desires into my life

...From 

 

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May your day be filled with love and gratitude

Daniela 1147 DOF

Big word for a terrible syndrome. I had to look it up, did not know what it meant.

 

Last night Sebastian, my son, told me the story of one of their friends, I believe their closest couple of friends; we met them at our kids' wedding, very nice people.  2 years ago Kay, the young 35-36 years old friend, after dinner together with our kids, started feeling tingling in her hands; she did not  think much about it, she went to bed; got up in the middle of the night attempting to walk to the bathroom, she fell, she was already paralyzed.  Took her to the hospital, and she spend 3 months in ICU, her paralysis was approaching her eyes, had already touched her diaphragm, she was on the respirator; after 3 months they transferred her into a Rehab facility where she spent another 9 months, then she came home.

 

She has recovered 90% of her motor abilities, still hopes for full recovery, not sure if that will happen.  The cause of the syndrome is not known, but it is another auto-immune disease, attacking the envelope around the nerves.  Many people don't recover, they die in the first 24 hours of onset;  it's been speculated Napoleon might have died of it, based on the diaries around his death. 

 

Others like Kay do recover, the younger the faster, but it takes a while, and no certitude she'll make a full recovery.  Sebastian, for the time their friend was in rehab, went to take dinner over and spend time with them at least twice/week.  Her husband, a computer programmer, lived and worked out of the Rehab center. They don't have any kids, and are not sure if she'll ever be able to carry.  I asked my son why he never mentioned it to me; he said I was fighting my own health issues, he did not want to overload me emotionally.  And he is right, thinking of Kay's story, I still have tears in my eyes.


Kay's story made me think of us, and our quit process!  She did not have a choice, she was hit by a terrible illness and paralyzed to her eyes for 3 months.

 

We have a choice, we can elect to become healthy!

 

We don't have to go through paralysis, or rehab, we can start quitting whenever we make the decision to do so. The withdrawal symptoms we experience, are nothing compared to being paralyzed.

 

We don't have to wait to be put on a respirator; one can quit today, one can quit now.

 

Looking at a young person, and the hardship her and her family had to carry for almost 2 years, I have to ask the question: why doesn't one quit?

 

Why do we have to wait so long to quit, when we already know the destructive effects on our health?

 

Kay did not have a choice, the syndrome hit her in several hours, and her life changed forever.  She did not smoke, or did drugs, she was a healthy,  young and active, having a healthy lifestyle young woman.  No one knows what did trigger her anti-bodies to attack her own nerves.

 

But we know too well what the destruction smoking can cause in our bodies.

 

Quitting smoking is a choice; if you haven't yet, please make the choice now.

 

Become a healthier person, able to look forward for more wonderful years and events in your life.

 

Become an EX, it is a choice, please make it!

 

Because when I think of Kay's story relative to quitting smoking, it will be a nonsense decision to keep smoking with us here, willing to help at every step, all it takes is a little wake up call and the commitment to stay quit!

 

I hope you'll quit today!

 

Daniela 1145 DOF

The Orthodox Easter! 

https://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/us/orthodox-easter-day

The Romanian religious calendar follows the Orthodox Julian calendar.

This year Easter  falls on April 28.

We started preparing for it, mom, with just a little help from me, got the eggs colored yesterday:

Our son arrives tonight and he will spend some time with us, leaving on Tuesday night.

We'll enjoy traditional Romanian meals, we might go for a hike in the desert, which for now is in full bloom and just enjoy each other's presence, 

 

You all have a great weekend!

Daniela

 

PS Smoking is not part of the Orthodox Easter tradition, so it will be no smoking at our home this weekend

Daniela-3-11-2016

Low

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Apr 24, 2019

Can I write a blog when I am low, after the beautiful "Miss Optimistic" Lady J wrote for me?

 

So you all know my knees have been hurting for a while (since the Fall of 2016), that I've been in PT and Chiropractic care at the end of last year for a good stretch of time.  No change.  Mostly my right knee is blocking in pain after about 10 min of normal, to slow walking.  So gone are my long walks making me feel great about myself, and which helped so much at the beginning of my quit.

 

Family doctor put me on the list for an ortho surgeon, and after only 3 months of waiting, I finally saw him today.

 

Meanwhile, about 3 weeks ago, while trying to push a dresser around something snapped in my back and I've been in pain of the sciatic nerve, right leg, all this time.  Of course no one would offer me a painkiller, God forbid I become one of their statistics.  What they don't want to look at is that people in chronic pain can make the statistics of suicide, before they can become addicted.

 

Instead of working on my weight to lighten up the weight on the knee, being in pain for so long, I allowed myself to eat all kind of crap (read comforting stuff) and managed to gain another 6-7 lbs on top of already overweight myself.

 

I let my family doctor know the driving to and from work is extremely difficult since I use my right leg, and sit on the sciatic, inflamed nerve, she added a X-ray of the pelvis where you could see the osteo-arthritis and lumbar scoliosis explaining my pain.

 

Yet, all I got from the ortho doctor was a shot of Cortisone in my right knee and he recommendation to take OTC anti-inflammatory (Aleve) which I have been doing on my own anyways.  Oh, and I forget, the osteoarthritis won't get any better no matter what, so I am heading towards knee replacement surgery, sooner or later. Not there yet, I guess I need to suffer for several years before that becomes a solution.

 

And of course nothing about the Sciatica pain.  I have to see a Neurologist for that (probably wait for another 3 months?).  When in the world, a nerve compression by a bone can't be looked at by an Ortho specialist?

I came home so frustrated, and I still am.

 

Is any of you , since so many are in chronic pain, on Medical Marijuana?

It is legalized in AZ, and I am discussing it with my son, but I would love to hear from someone who is using it for pain, and if it helps as I hear it does.

 

Ask me if I would like to have a smoke right now! 

 

Oh, yes I would, but I keep making the choice to preserve what's left of this body. It's an illusion that smoking takes the pain away; it doesn't, we expect that from our doctors, and too many times, much like me today, are left to our own devices.

 

Daniela 

Bad, Bad Monday...

Started with getting coffee all over me, desk, keyboard....took a while to clean it up and for the smell to go away; I love coffee, but fresh in my cup, not stale on my clothes...

Then work issues, questions, expectations, demands, unhappy co-workers, confused me and co-workers...

To the point I even forgot to call mom in the window of time she is used to me calling...

I called her later, she was fine.

If I were still a smoker, today I would have had at least 12 by this time of the day, if not more.

As an EX, I didn't even think about smoking before I asked myself: "who in this world would would be patient to hear what a terrible Monday I had, oh, my friends at EX"

Mondays can be good, Mondays can be bad.  Everybody survives (even though I threatened my boss with a heart attack).  Smokers and EX have Mondays, but if you still smoke, your risk of a heart attack in such Monday can really double...

Glad it's almost over...

One more email, and I am out of here.

Everybody have a great evening!

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Now, as we are awaiting such an important event in Christianity, can I please ask you, the you, who've been studying religious books, where is the expression "the patience of a saint" coming from?  Because I am nowhere near to find out.

 

But I am asking you, the same you, how much a human’s patience can be stretched before we reach the etheric patience of a saint?

 

Yesterday I was on PTO, and decided to dedicate the day off to mom:

 

At 8:30am we were at the X-ray place, after that she wanted to go shopping, but was hungry, she does not like to go to restaurants, so we came home, grabbed something to eat, then went shopping; she promised me we'll check out at least 2 stores to find a pair of jeans she likes.  After 45 min in a SteinMart, she was done, we walked out with 2 pairs of sleepers (she changed her mind about one, I need to take it back), and some pretty Easter napkins.

 

Once home, I started calling the pharmacy for a new inhaler the specialist prescribed for her, they have not gotten the call, called the Dr's office, took a short nap.

 

Then it was time for her pedicure, as professional as one unprofessional me can offer.

 

Then out again I went, to reach 2 different pharmacies (one of them closing at 6 pm, where mom is on a program by her primary doctor, and her inhaler only cost $50.00 for a while, now the generic is available, so we only pay $15.00.  We had to buy a couple of months using the Canadian drugs pharmacy, and it cost $250.00/month).

 

Got to give mom credit for fixing some cabbage for dinner, then TV, and she went to bed.

 

But every single morning, no matter how the prior day was, how many things/drugs to fix things we were able to get, some fun we had, every morning there has to be something negative about the day or the night before.

 

When swimming in the ocean of negativity, it feels as swimming in mud, and it takes so long to get to at least a neutral point to start the day.

 

Meditation helped me with cravings, meditation is helping my life every day.

 

If you are new to quitting, and never thought about it, just give it a try.  There are so many choices out there on YouTube, one of them can work for you, many work for me.

 

Have a wonderful weekend, and the patience of a saint, you never know who needs your help!

That almost happen to me as I was entering my car back from shopping.  The pack of cigarettes was empty, hard cover, and flattened by many cars parking over it. And somehow I stepped on it, and felt my left leg sliding; thankfully I was already 3 inches over my car seat.  No harm done.

 

But I looked at the pack, thought about the smoker who discarded the empty pack there, and thought, he/she would have been so much better if they did ....

Image result for crushed cigarette pack

this instead.

Then, I got out of the car, picked it up, and took it back to the trash...where it belongs.

 

Don't fall over a Pall Mall...