I am typing with one hand, the other holding ice over the left temporal-mandibular articulation...that's right, that can get inflamed, in my case because I grind my teeth at night. Neglecting to adjust the mouth piece made by the dentist was such a bad idea...I felt it was too tight, thinking my teeth might have moved in time. Well, now it is on, hoping to get the inflammation down. On to make a shake, so I can get some Aleve in, glad it's the weekend and I can hopefully get better by Monday.
Learn from stupid mistakes others make...there is always a lesson in everything we are sharing here
Life has a way of kicking you down from time to time, to teach you humility and make you one with it; make you understand you are just a manifestation of the One we call God, or Universe, or Source, or One Soul. I've been learning; moving from a totally Newtonian (cause and effect) view of life, to at least questioning, if not yet truly believing, we are all one.
I've been reading, a lot, and YouTubing (did you even know this is a newly accepted word in English???), watching contemporary masters of thinking, of transformation: Joe Dispenza, Eckarth Tole, Gabor Mate, and many others. Reading about Buddhism, about Native American culture, rituals, Christianity, and how universal the teachings remain.
Why share here? Because that is what we do here: we share, our lives, our struggles, our memories.
And while listening to an audio book "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself", the author presents a metaphor to help the listener take the leap of faith and use it for personal growth. And it hit me how much this applies to quitting smoking.
Here is the story: for years many of us wanted to quit smoking, I know I did; but the addiction kept us imprisoned, much like a person, their arms stretched, trying to hold 2 opposite walls, and prevent them from falling on each other. We put so much resistance against quitting, so much energy went into keeping smoking, because it was what we knew best, it gave us the comfort of the known place, the known behavior, we did not have to break the habit. We kept on smoking.
Little did we know all it took was to just walk away from the burden, step ahead into freedom, and let the walls crumble behind us; once we understand it, we accept it, there is no way back. There is no space behind us left to return to; the walls have crumbled, we have no smoking habit to support anymore, we are free to step into the future. All that old, unnecessary, harming energy can now be released, and used for higher purposes.
My hope is we really get it, we understand, we accept it as a permanent change, and be happy to move on with our lives as EX-smokers; that smoking is a chapter in our lives we closed forever; that we know better now, and live with purpose, real purpose, investing the time, energy, money we spent on smoking for so long, in a better cause: it can be us, our families, or our big family, the humanity. Whatever cause one selects, or all of them, will be many times better than wasting our lives, money and energy smoking!
Maybe all you need to know is that I am still here, still an EX, and still grieving.
Waiting for the light of hope to shine through, but still hiding if no positive, supporting thoughts can make it on the page.
I love you, you and your own challenges are on my mind, checking in from time to time, reading blogs, sometimes, very rarely responding.
Please know I wish all of you the best and one day I'll be back.
For Newbies, please stay the course, it is worth every crave, moments of anxiety shall soon pass, and you will find the peace, like the deepest end of a lake, when all the tormenting of the beginning of a quit had passed.
It has been a while since my puppy Nucka, 14 years old Shih Tzu was not well. We've been through 2 rounds of antibiotics, and she would get better for one day, then her choking would be back. A little while ago, I noticed she was having mini-seizures, blinking her eyes, then going pretty limp afterwards. Nearly 3 years ago, she had surgery for a melanoma on her palate. It looks as the tumor grew back, now towards her nose, making it hard/impossible for her to breathe properly, eat or drink properly. This past Saturday, the vet told me "it's her time".
She's been a joy to be around, full of life and spunk, she's been the leader of all of us for 13 years she's been with us.
We adopted her when she was 14 months, and loved her like a baby of ours ever since. She was not a healthy puppy, at 6 months weighing only one pound. Then eventually she grew bigger, but never heavier than 12 pounds. As a puppy we treated her liver, as she grew older, she found her health balance. She lost 2 pounds in the last 4 weeks.
The decision to let her go was mine alone, as my husband did not find it in him to agree with me, let alone to support my decision. Eventually, pressured by our son, he told me last night to do what I think is best.
She went to join the angels at 8:30 am today, in my arms, under my tears, and kisses. She will forever leave in my heart, for only the one who never had a pet does not know how much they love us, how thankful they are for being in our lives, how much they miss us when we are away.
Some of you might have noticed I have not been very active lately. My apologies.
Work is heavy, outside work I am also busy, and I feel a bit overwhelmed.
I think a little break from EX will help getting rid of this feeling. After all, we are all busy, right?
But that feeling, no matter how much you do, you still have more left for the next morning, for next week...little hamster running in his wheel,not going anywhere, you never stop...You all know it, I know, I just need to shake it off.
My best to all till next time, and thank you for your understanding.
When my day at work was long, the commute was busy, I had to stop at the pharmacy for some essentials, and I got home to argue with "my other half" (whomever in the world invented the notion, I feel more than whole myself), I need to go back on some inspiring moments I collected along the quitting journey...and lift my own spirits up, if all around me they are lower than dirt!!!
To mind my own business, and not offer help, unless asked...
I have a lady co-worker, never been work friends, just worked on some projects together; he is very smart, and she knows it, and she seems to walk 3 heads taller than anyone else... She's been a smoker, but never socialized when going out for a smoke, and she mostly works form home.
As I have already approached all my friends who are still smoking, even if they aren't planning on quitting now, they took the card with a knowing smile on their faces; the card went to the garbage for sure, right after I walked away. But it did not matter to me, as long as I knew I walked my half way to help.
Today was one of the rare days the lady and I were in the office at the same time; I took a card, approached her and started by saying "if you ever think about quitting"...she handed me the card back and said "I don't want to quit, I like it, I smoke because I am bored, I don't want it". No reason to insist; I took the card back smiling and wished her a good rest of her day. And thought: "if someone, over 3 years ago, would have offered me something like that, I would have at least said "thank you", understanding the person does it just because they care". But as many times we say : "we are all different" and she will quit, when, if ever, she'll be ready to do so.
I won't lie and say I did not care that she pushed back so hard, yet, she did not invite me to share anything with her, not even a hello today So I only got in return what I deserved, and that is how life is...definitely not a reason to smoke over...
I did not want to acknowledge smoking is an addiction
It was my only “vice”
Because I thought being a provider equal with my husband in terms of revenue we brought in the house, and on top of that a reliable wife and a dedicated mom, I felt “entitled” to have smoking as my own reward (hubby has his drinks at the end of the day, our son had his friends, I had my smoking)
Having tried to quit several times I was positively sure it was hard; so I was avoiding the “suffering” of quitting
It kept metabolism going, it was my friend on every diet: “can’t eat now, have a smoke, the hunger will pass for a while”
5. Spending time with myself was always precious for me; and if sometimes hubby followed me outside and we hung out over my smoke, most of the times I did it alone, maybe with just my pets who are polite that way, and don’t ask me questions, never disturbing my thoughts
And for all of you out there pondering the decision, the “answers” are my “lies” to justify keeping smoking, here are the real facts, all of us EX know today:
Smoking is an addiction; but once you accept it as such, you gain the knowledge quitting is possible
My “vice” was not innocent, it was destroying anything on its way; liver, blood vessels, immune balance, all going insidious, but all real today. Still looking for the courage to schedule the low dose CT scan; there is a real fear there, not so much of malignant nodules, as much as the whole insecurities around some nodules I know I have since I was a kid, and which doctors never really diagnosed. They will, with today’s technology be investigated till I’ll eventually be cleared, like many times in the past.
Other self-rewards could have been used, but because of #1, I kept believing in #3! I love good smells, and OMG how much more quality perfume I could have had with the money I spent on cigarettes
Yes, there are some uncomfortable times at the beginning, but the freedom you gain from quitting, soon enough erases those difficult first weeks. Like I learned here , “no one died of cravings”, but so many did of smoking
It is right, I seem to have a hard time losing weight anymore, but I take being obese over lung cancer any day; and my working on the additional pounds is not a lost battle; I did not put down my weapons as of yet.
I found other ways (meditation, yoga) to secure my time with myself, and I know they are helping me get healthier not sicker.
If you still have doubts, please believe my written words, I share them with the hope to help you make the right decision and join our ranks, where we count our Days of Freedom, our Saved Money, and our Lucky days to be alive.
In the subconscious mind; over which we have very little power.
And look at the picture (by Dr Joe Dispenza) of our minds.
To me it explains why it is so hard to quit.
Also why meditation helped me quitting; and/or any other activity which allows one to access the subconscious mind (deep state of relaxation brought by music, painting, dancing, whatever helps the mind stay in the now, and forget the old emotions, beliefs, routine activities) and modify the patterns residing in it.
Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life's Creative Director and resident writer.
“I’m realistic. I expect miracles.” – Wayne Dyer
I really love miracles, and honestly I expect miracles every single day.
This sentence may have many of you scratching your heads because when many of us think of miracles we think of people walking on water or curing incurable diseases. Which, yes, those are miracles as well. The miracles that I encounter daily are the miracles of the mind and spirit.
I’ve been studying A Course in Miracles a lot lately, and it has taught me so much about true miracles. From this text, I’ve learned that miracles are a shift of perception from fear to love. A miracle is an act of love; a remembrance of who we truly are. From this vantage point, maybe you begin to see why I started this week’s blog off in saying that I expect miracles daily.
You may be wondering now how you too can experience miracles in your daily life. So here is a quick miracle checklist I’ve put together for you:
Set powerful, positive intentions
Practice present moment living
When stressed, remember that you can choose your thoughts and reactions
Cultivate an attitude of gratitude
Remember that love is our true purpose
Love yourself unconditionally
Trust that life unfolds as it should
These are just a few ideas to get you started in the miracle mindset! I think you will find that when you incorporate these tips into your life you absolutely will find yourself more in the flow of life, which brings a sense of inner peace, abundance, and pure joy “Miracles are natural. When they do not occur something has gone wrong.” – A Course in Miracles
I hope these resonate with you as they did with me. Because no one but ourselves are the creators of our ever day. It is our intent and reactions making us happy or sad, accepting or mad, loving or indifferent.
Big word for a terrible syndrome. I had to look it up, did not know what it meant.
Last night Sebastian, my son, told me the story of one of their friends, I believe their closest couple of friends; we met them at our kids' wedding, very nice people. 2 years ago Kay, the young 35-36 years old friend, after dinner together with our kids, started feeling tingling in her hands; she did not think much about it, she went to bed; got up in the middle of the night attempting to walk to the bathroom, she fell, she was already paralyzed. Took her to the hospital, and she spend 3 months in ICU, her paralysis was approaching her eyes, had already touched her diaphragm, she was on the respirator; after 3 months they transferred her into a Rehab facility where she spent another 9 months, then she came home.
She has recovered 90% of her motor abilities, still hopes for full recovery, not sure if that will happen. The cause of the syndrome is not known, but it is another auto-immune disease, attacking the envelope around the nerves. Many people don't recover, they die in the first 24 hours of onset; it's been speculated Napoleon might have died of it, based on the diaries around his death.
Others like Kay do recover, the younger the faster, but it takes a while, and no certitude she'll make a full recovery. Sebastian, for the time their friend was in rehab, went to take dinner over and spend time with them at least twice/week. Her husband, a computer programmer, lived and worked out of the Rehab center. They don't have any kids, and are not sure if she'll ever be able to carry. I asked my son why he never mentioned it to me; he said I was fighting my own health issues, he did not want to overload me emotionally. And he is right, thinking of Kay's story, I still have tears in my eyes.
Kay's story made me think of us, and our quit process! She did not have a choice, she was hit by a terrible illness and paralyzed to her eyes for 3 months.
We have a choice, we can elect to become healthy!
We don't have to go through paralysis, or rehab, we can start quitting whenever we make the decision to do so. The withdrawal symptoms we experience, are nothing compared to being paralyzed.
We don't have to wait to be put on a respirator; one can quit today, one can quit now.
Looking at a young person, and the hardship her and her family had to carry for almost 2 years, I have to ask the question: why doesn't one quit?
Why do we have to wait so long to quit, when we already know the destructive effects on our health?
Kay did not have a choice, the syndrome hit her in several hours, and her life changed forever. She did not smoke, or did drugs, she was a healthy, young and active, having a healthy lifestyle young woman. No one knows what did trigger her anti-bodies to attack her own nerves.
But we know too well what the destruction smoking can cause in our bodies.
Quitting smoking is a choice; if you haven't yet, please make the choice now.
Become a healthier person, able to look forward for more wonderful years and events in your life.
Become an EX, it is a choice, please make it!
Because when I think of Kay's story relative to quitting smoking, it will be a nonsense decision to keep smoking with us here, willing to help at every step, all it takes is a little wake up call and the commitment to stay quit!