It’s coming up, the 11th of March it’ll be 3 years since I took my last puff, hard to believe.
Was it easy? When I try remembering the days I cried incessantly, or the many times I had to walk away from my work station, or change the focus of my mind onto something else, or the constant deep breathing till I felt dizzy, I would say, NO, it wasn’t. However, these memories are fading away every day more and more.
And I was here, on EX, after the first month of struggling on my own.
And I asked for help, and listened, and learned something new every day.
The elders were always just a blog away, with advice, support, tough love, smiles, and encouragements.
About 6 months into the quit, my body started revolting against the new regimen, and started “bursting at the seams”: I was walking miles and miles, the knees started swelling, and hurting, to the point I had to call hubby to pick me up from one of the walks. Then I developed Plantar fasciitis and paid a fortune for shoe inserts, but they helped! After that I felt the heavy weight of depression, and many other symptoms no doctor was able to identify or link to any of the current conditions. It took over 6 months to be diagnosed by an alternative medicine provider, as having Hashimoto’s. This is not as uncommon as I thought; so many of us are suffering from auto-immune diseases. But to me it was new, and it took a lot of adjusting to get the right HRT dosage and learn to live with that; that and a Fatty Liver (watch it, and know it: smoking is considered one of the causes of Fatty Liver of non-alcoholic origin), and Diabetes. But I made it.
Speed forwarding to today, I stayed with EX, as a Big, Fat, Thank You for all which was handed to me in time of need, and as a warranty on my own smobriety.
I am still learning something every time I am connecting: about life, places, people, pets, gardening and art, love and respect, challenges and ways to face them, Gods and ways to connect with them.
EX changed my life for the better, in a way I did not even dare to hope more than 3 years ago!
And the season for potted Hyacinths started for me.
I have been talking to you guys for a while about a smell I can feel in my nostrils, much like burnt stuff...The car was first to blame, since it was not detailed or replaced since I quit smoking. But it follows me wherever I go, not only while driving.
You all gave me all kind of suggestions, thank you, but the smell I can feel now almost all the time, it only grew heavier.
Honestly, not sure yet if I need to see an ENT doctor or not.
But there is one more thing I need to disclose: while meditating, I added incense to my morning sessions. What I am using was purchased in India, sandalwood. Doing some research, it seems as the Indian origins contain the most chemicals. Needless to say I will not be using incense until the Japanese sourced ordered today will arrive.
Meanwhile, only stronger smells can cover what I smell, so my nose is in the newly blooming hyacinth sitting on my desk! It helps!
My apologies if this seems trivial, but it upsets me more and more.
Here is an article about it, just hoping I am not developing more craziness than I already have!
I know it's Friday, but for the last 2 days I have been working till 11pm or later, it makes me sick, and there is a lot of stress associated with it. Trying to meditate to lift off some of that, but it does not seem to help lots,
NOT SMOKING OVER THAT!
Sorry to be a downer, I just needed to vent, I know it's Friday, and I wish I learned how to work smart not hard; my son grew up here, and he knows well how to do that; maybe he'll teach me one day.
I promise you all, starting today I'll really believe in Karma: what you give out to the Universe, comes right back at you!!!
For many months, our team did not do anything together, we were just too busy.
Our boss scheduled lunch today, not far from the office, at a burger place. We got seated at a booth, set up with plates and napkins for 4. We were 5, only one of us being a normal thin person (not me). I asked the server if we can get a chair on the aisle, but she said "no, it is a fire hazard, you'll just have to adjust", instead of giving us other options, on the patio there were round tables, or she could have used 2 tables together and make us comfortable. I held my purse on my lap to make room for my co-workers, and kept mumbling to myself, instead of calming down and enjoy my meal. We tipped well, despite the lack of accommodation.
On our way back, I stepped on the edge of the sidewalk (towards the grass thankfully, not the road), I felt my right ankle twisting, and I knew I could not keep my balance, folded my knees, but ended up on the right knee, then the right hip.
Thankfully my bones were strong to hold my weight, I pulled myself up from my 4's!
Needless to say, I am still in pain, but I will take the lesson, and stop expecting I deserve everything...