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Daniela-3-11-2016 Blog

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Daniela-3-11-2016

A ghost from my past

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Nov 13, 2018

It remains a mystery to me why I did not clean the kitchen at the beginning of my quit; so many here have done it and felt good about it; maybe plain laziness??? 

Anyway, mom used a bigger container to hold shredded cabbage yesterday, but had a hard time extracting it from one of the many overfilled cabinets.  While putting it back, I had to re-arrange some of the stuff and my hand felt something very familiar on a platter.

I pulled out my hand holding 4 brownish cigarettes, extra-long, three green circles separating the filter from the tobacco.  The paper over the tobacco was brownish, the one over the filter a darker shade.

Could they have been my brand (Marlboro light 100)?  If they were, they were unrecognizable. Nor did they smell like anything.

Later, while talking to my son I asked him if he could have hidden cigarettes while he was still living at home.  He said the total of cigarettes he smoked on his whole life was probably about 4-5 packs, but not until he started working in Boston.

 

While on the phone with my son, I drenched the 4 cigarettes, and threw them in the trash!

I can even believe I had a fleeting moment of…what was it…?  Did my receptors wake up for a second, their hopes high I’ll start feeding them again?  Ha!!!

 

Get lost, ghost of my past!!!

N.O.P.E. served me since the moment I decided it will be my salvation, and it did it again last night.

 

Get lost, ghost, I don’t do that anymore!

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Because No One can make you Happy but yourself.

And that applies to all areas of our life.

 

After trying hard and failing to please my mom, I finally decided today I want to live the rest of our time together a happy person. 

So no matter her reaction to my many attempts to make her happy, I will still cherish the time we have left together, and put a smile on my face.  And maybe she'll smile back.

 

That applies to quitting too: once I decided to be happy when the crave hit me because I knew it to be the proof I am still NOT smoking, the rest fell into place.  It takes work, yes, it takes work to love yourself enough to be happy about a longing, about missing something.  But we can do it, we can turn a frown into a smile, stand up and be proud of our work!

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Daniela-3-11-2016

Use your mind

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Nov 7, 2018

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N.O.P.E.

Believe it, say it, and will become yourREALITY!

Daniela-3-11-2016

Happy Diwali

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Nov 6, 2018

For any members of Indian descent Happy Diwali!!!

 

Diwali is a Hindufestival of lights, which is celebrated every autumn in the northern hemisphere (spring in southern hemisphere).[5][6] One of the most popular festivals of Hinduism, Diwali symbolises the spiritual "victory of light over darkness, good over evil and knowledge over ignorance."[7][8][9] During the celebration, temples, homes, shops and office buildings are brightly illuminated.[10] The preparations, and rituals, for the festival typically last five days, with the climax occurring on the third day coinciding with the darkest night of the Hindu lunisolar month Kartika

 

These are the decoration at the office, and Indian food will be catered in today!

I feel alone, I want to be alone, for 1hour, day, month, or forever.  After making many comforting choices in food for the last 2 weeks, here, I top it all with a double Irish cream on ice to end the day.  The sugar in it will certainly help my diabetes..

You're proud of me, as I surely am too! Ha, what a joke!!!

The house is quiet, it's been for over 2h, but sleep eludes me and I am running out of options...

All  the alcohol did, was making me hot, and hick up for a while now.

Please don't laugh, I don't drink, but I desperately want to sleep.

Got to be honest, I only left the house to take mom shopping, no walk or any kind of exercise, couch potato I was today.

Do I think about smoking, of course I do, I am on Ex after all, but not as a solution to my insomnia.  Smoking never helped me go to sleep.  Smoking never helps anything.

But as one m favorite book/movie character says :"after all , tomorrow is another day! 

Good night to all lucky dogs who have no issues with sleep, I am not one of them!

We all have our reasons to quit: health, money, love, kids, pets, stink, shame, regret, lack of respect for oneself, a partner or lover, job, medical insurance, and who knows what else.

 

After 963 DOF (Days of Freedom - and who called them that might have known how I feel), I still value Freedom as the biggest, most impactful benefit of quitting for me.

 

It is only when looking backwards at a long life of the smoker I was, when I realized how much the 20 cigarettes/day ruled my life: at home, driving, at work, traveling by car or plane, eating with friends at a restaurant, at my son’s house (or should I say balcony in summer or winter in Boston), at my own house with family or friends, when they were inside and I was out giving in to my addiction.

 

If you have no other reason to quit, just do it to regain your freedom.  And if you are now quitting, and you think the cravings are terrible, look back at your life as a smoker and find strength knowing you are conquering your freedom from the claws of a very serious and hard to beat addiction. 

 

Reach out, we'll help!

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Another step towards freedom, total freedom from Nicotine.

So far I kept thinking, and "feeling" I still like the fresh smell of a cigarette.

 

Not anymore!

 

Walking the puppies this morning, beautiful, crisp but sunny Arizona fall season, a young lady walks by us.  Smiling she says "good morning", I smile back, return the greeting, and keep slowly walking into the smoke trailing after her.  I did not know where it was coming from, turned my head, and saw she was holding a burning cigarette behind her back (I guess she was not proud of smoking in a beautiful little park full or animals, places to relax, the little artificial lake, and the turtles already out soaking the sun).  I thought "hopefully the smoke goes up, and the puppies don't have to inhale that", "yuck", I do't like it anymore. 

 

I DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE, AND i DON'T LIKE THAT ANYMORE, not even when fresh!

Last year, 2nd day after Christmas, I lost my long life friend.  He was going to turn 61 in January of 2018.

His dad never got over the loss of his son, and passed away today.  He was not young, or very healthy, however since the day his son died, the family attempted to keep him alive, but he did not want to live after losing his son.

 

If you have not made a decision as of yet, if you are at the beginning of your quit, and some days seem impossible to live without a smoke, please, please make the right decision and quit.

 

There are many things in live we have no control over, but smoking is one we do, if we make the decision to do so.

Set your mind on an EX-smoker mode, and live your life free of addiction,

 

Live life to the fullest, love, enjoy your family, your furry friends, your hobbies, nature, art, go on trips, read a good book, go to movies, take care of yourself.  Quitting will free up so much time, and save you so much money, you'll be able to do a lot of things you can't as a smoker.

 

Make every day count!

 

Love to all, 

Daniela 959 DOFs and counting

Daniela-3-11-2016

Let yourself guided

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Oct 17, 2018

There is "the voice" in our heads when we quit.  That says "I want one, I want one....".  

You need to shut that voice down and open your mind to what is being said here:

 

1.   Quit smoking might be hard (but only as hard as you make it)

2.   Quit smoking is very possible, we, the people here, are living proof of that

3.   Open up to the possibility you can also be one of us

4.   Listen to what is being said here; every one wants you to succeed

4.   Let yourself guided, don't fight it

5.   Take what works for you, leave the rest

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After spending most of my life dreading the beginning of a new work week, today I loved my Monday!

 

And that is because the Weight Watchers regimen started showing results. Slowly I started losing weight.

Not much to do with quitting, but maybe it does.  Because part of the weight I need to lose accumulated while eating the yummy milk chocolate raisins while quitting; my favorite go to snack.  I always say, don't do like I did.

 

And I need to share something funny with you: at work many people have their famous candy jars, not only around Halloween, but all year long.  One of them is my boss.  Since her desk is not far from my mine, I can see the speed with which her jar gets emptied, mostly during boring afternoons.  But not only.  This morning I brought in 4 bags for her jar.  Since I am not making sweets for the office anymore, I felt compelled to at least contribute that much!  One of my co-workers picked up 2 mini Snickers and dropped one at my desk.  I gave it back to her and said "Thanks,

I don't do that anymore!!!"  It made me feel so good.  That does not mean forever, just for a while...

 

NO, NO, NO

Images won't post for me today. ...NO to sweets, not for now

Daniela-3-11-2016

It's your time

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Oct 10, 2018

If you want it you have to go get it!

https://youtu.be/ADGnIi9KrLQ

 

Because..

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And Freedom is Precious

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And you are not alone

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Daniela-3-11-2016

Happy Monday

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Oct 8, 2018

Yeah, yeah, I know, for those of us still working, it is the dreaded day!

Really?

My weekend was so busy, I am looking forward to a calm day at the office.  Not always possible, but away from the chores at home, that is!

It is also the day I weigh in for WW.  Progress is slow, but at an average of 1lbs/week is not so bad, all things considered (age, hypothyroidism), I will call it good. 

And I am also smoke free, which on its own makes this Monday wonderful.

It is going to be a great day, if we think so as we get up, put it out there to the Universe, it is going to be a great

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Happy Monday to all, may this week bring all of us progress on our quit journey, on our health quests, and our family dynamics.  Let's make it a great week!

Love

Daniela

Daniela-3-11-2016

My new vehicle

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Oct 7, 2018

Good morning my friends!  My morning is dark, 60 degrees F, gloomy, and last night we had a monsoon like thunderstorm, with all the trimmings: lightning, thunder, and rain.

I can't wait to clear up, and go to a bike repair shop, to get some help to adjust my new "vehicle".

 

You know I have been going to PT for now over 2 months, my right knee still hurts, not so bad, but I still can't walk 30 min with no pain!  In the summer I used the pool for the moving of the knee to help increase the liquid in the joint, but you won't get me in the pool after the night temps go under 80.  Arizona spoiled people...

So last night I got myself a smoking deal, at Walmart of all places.  Someone ordered this beautiful....drum roll...please don't laugh...tricycle , but did not like it, did not pick it up from the store and it was discounted from $300 to $126 (tax included)!

 

However it needs adjusted before I can take it for a ride, I can't wait for 10:00 am when the shop opens to take it there, then start using it.

It just felt so weird trying to ride it, even though I used a bicycle for work at least 4 hours/day to visit babies' houses, but it was about 30 years ago.  I thought a tricycle won't give me any challenges, but guess what, it does!!!

I'll get it to work, I promise you, and my puppies will get attached in the basked, so we can go to the park together using this beautiful object, I'll get there...I am very hopeful...don't laugh,please

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We all know it, this is just a reminder, hopefully it resonates better than an article: 

 

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Cravings anyone?  Make it the first 10 days and...

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Someone once got upset I called us addicts, how about this comparison?

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Daniela-3-11-2016

Let it rain

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Oct 2, 2018

 

This was my ride to work this morning; and I had to take an alternate route because my normal one was flooded.

Remnants of hurricane Rose, are blessing us with tons of water, which is great for Arizona, but we are not prepared to get dumped on in such quantities.  Some roads were totally submerged, others, just the right lane.  It took me one hour for a normally 35 minutes ride.

 

Do you know how happy I was I don't smoke anymore?  What would I have done if I did?  Getting drenched through a little opening in the window, or intoxicate myself in smoke and use the AC to chase it away from my face?

 

I had to stop at the store on my way in, and I realized I don't even own an umbrella.  By the time I got back in the car I was wet and cold.  Can you imagine add to that the smell of stale smoke on my clothes?

 

Met a co-worker in break room (I believe she is the only smoking woman we have left at this location), she was getting coffee, and was carrying her umbrella and I felt really sorry for her. I knew exactly why she needed the umbrella...

 

So here newbies, after over 2 years I am still happy I followed the teachings shared with me here, consistently came here for inspiration, almost every day, learned from those who did it before me, shared my own challenges, and listen to what others had to say, how they resolved them, and in many cases it worked for me too.

 

Let it rain, it is good for the soil, it is good for my plants, and the city water supply, let it rain, I don't care because I don't need to be out there smoking under an umbrella, let it rain...