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Daniela-3-11-2016 Blog

294 posts

Our quits, that is!


We can never take them for granted, we need to use whatever in our arsenal to chase away any temptation.  Because we are addicts, and will always be!


My heart is bleeding for a friend who lost a nearly 6 years beautiful quit for the famous "Just one".

We all know there is no such thing, the "just one" is being followed by the full blown addiction biting at our lives again.


Please Never Take It For Granted, protect it with all your might!

Respect yourself and the power of this community!


The power of now

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Feb 16, 2020

Reading excerpts but mostly listening to his talks on YouTube, is helping me navigate a time in my life seemingly more challenging than others before.


Oprah called him the "Prophet of the 21st century". There is so much to his teachings but if I dare summarize the most important thing would be "living in the moment" will free us of depression (thoughts of the past) and anxiety (worries for the future).  He emphasizes our connections with one other, and with all living things. He studied Christianity, Budhism, Hinduism, and many other religions and spiritual masters, and translates from sacred books and presents it in a very easy to understand and learn to practice philosophy of life.

Disclaimer: I don't work with, or for him (I wish I did ), citing him here is hoping to help along the path of freedom many of us selected.


Thinking how much his sayings are applying to our quits, and how much it might help one in the throws of indecision, and suffering, here are some of his sayings, illustrated, so maybe easier to "see" and adopt in one's every day life.


Image result for quotes from the :Power of now by eckhart tolle

Image result for quotes from the :Power of now by eckhart tolle

Image result for quotes from the :Power of now by eckhart tolle

Image result for quotes from the :Power of now by eckhart tolle

Image result for quotes from the :Power of now by eckhart tolle

Image result for quotes from the :Power of now by eckhart tolle

Image result for quotes from the :Power of now by eckhart tolle


Happy Sunday to all!


Still one of you

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Feb 13, 2020

While still fuzzy when it comes to my every day life, after the loss of a dear cousin, just wanted to drop a word for all my old and new friends: I am still with you, still quit, while still sad and challenged.


The pull to be near my friends, to hand a helping hand when needed by newer members, brings me back.  Not committed to full time support, but present here and there when I can, and when I can make a difference.


And maybe just to say, if life hands you lemons, make lemonade.


Life gave me the flu, nearly 4 years ago, and I used it as my sign to quit; now looking forward to the 4th anniversary of a long life desired freedom.  If you don't know it yet, it feels darn good.  It you don't know it yet, just try it, you won't be sorry, I promise you.


If you are here, life gave you us, this site, this guidance, which many of us used as our lifeline, and came up on the other side happy we did!


If you are still smoking, just think how much easier would be to fly; the long line at the airport security, the need to be at the gate at least 30min before boarding, the sometimes long taxiing before getting access to a could be reading, playing a game on your phone, working remote, or watching a movie on the airline entertainment little screen, with no constant desire to smoke, and stress you might not have enough time between flights to get out and back in during your layover, just to suck one up, another ash on your lung, one less day in your life.


Make the right choice for yourself, and if you did, and you struggle, know there is light at the end of the tunnel, think of something else, do something to move your thought towards a different interest, distract yourself, and the crave will pass.


Nothing I say here is new, or you have not heard many times before, it is just another testimony quitting is possible!



Image result for namaste symbol


Happy Saturday

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Jan 25, 2020

Hope all is well, as for me, having had another loss on January 3rd, which I wrote about, I am learning life without someone near and dear my heart.

While reading an article today, I thought I'd share with my friends, elders or not, some good advice for 2020.

And quitting smoking takes the first place!

Be well!


And she was the closest I had to a sister. 

Her last weeks alive were hard on her, her immediate family, and all who loved her.  I was one of these people; could not be by her side, could not attend the funeral (in my home town, Timisoara/Romania), but my life was not, and will never be the same without her.  She passed on Jan 3, stage 4 breast cancer, at age 72. 

The events took me away from this site, and still might for a while; I am trying to be supportive to her daughters, call or skype, or facetime them every day, and trying to find my own way to deal with the loss.

And even if her older daughter smokes a couple of cigarettes every time we speak, I am staying true to my quit; I am quit, and will stay quit; will deal with life's challenges by loving, sharing, giving, meditating, working.




Sometimes to admire some pics some of us are taking, like this one.  Even if our home is in the city, some sunrises are just as beautiful as they are if you walk on a beach in Hawaii, while I am just on my patio in Arizona.


Some of us are really dedicated to help, and have been standing guard for all the newbies since their own quit: dispensing advice, support, sharing experiences and knowledge.


And some are staying because they understood being an active member on EX is a guarantee to keep a solid quit.


On and off, I have been here for one of all the above reasons.  But lately, life took me away from the site, and I got to see the sharp teeth of the monster, the addiction, calling back on me.


Not sure if the low I am going through is purely due to exhaustion, not having taken any other vacation but the 4-5 days in VB with you guys this spring, if it is the loss of my pets having hit me so hard, or just the sole caregiver syndrom, as mom is 95% in my charge, and hubby contributes with the rest.


And finding out a dear friend fell into the addiction after a beautiful 6 years quit did not help my thinking about smoking.

Nor does the weight hanging onto me for over 3 years now, and the clear knowledge smoking would increase the metabolism by 10%.


I guess all of these were somewhere in the back of my conscience, up till this afternoon.  Waiting my turn in a mani/pedi place, I was flipping through a magazine and fell onto an add for a cigarette, claiming to contain just tobacco and water!  If anyone these days is still trusting any kind of adds!  I had never heard of the brand, and will not discuss it here, but went on my phone to check the most expensive 10 brands of cigarettes, one of which was the one in the add.  As I was scrolling through, it hit me like a train!!!  What am I doing?  Research for my next purchase?  My own Christmas present?


How careless can I be, even looking at the adds, or the description of the manufacturer, and the price of the pack?  How can I play with fire, how can I be so close to it, and think it will not burn me?


The thoughts opened my eyes.  I am heading towards my 4th year anniversary, and I will not risk my smobriety for a "healthy" - (just tobacco and water) cigarette!  We all know there is no such thing as only one!


May this be a warning, first to myself, then to anyone here thinking after a while we are safe.  We will never be really safe; we can never give ourselves permission to have "just one" because such thing does not exist.  Our friend having had "just one" after 6 years smoke free, is now smoking full time again.  


It takes being here, at least from time to time, to read if not respond, to play if not write blogs, but it takes being here, this is our safe heaven, this is the place of remembering: remembering the first days of our quit, remembering our friends who have gone to heavens because of smoking related afflictions, the place to ask for help and get it, the place so many put their time and soul to keep alive.


Please come back, newbies or elders, this is our safe place.

No statistics, no cold facts, just a warm Thanksgiving to all; enjoy your family time, food and games, and all this holiday can bring you.

Please don't forget holiday or not, day or night, someone will always be here to listen, and offer help, should you feel your quit is in any danger; we all know the lesson by know: blog with the word "help" in the title, and don't let the addicted brain dictate your actions before stopping here.

Be happy, be healthy, safe travels!



New car

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Nov 24, 2019

And the blog is not to brag about it, but to just say, what a relief to turn on the AC and no longer feel the stink of old smoke.  No matter what I did to my old, loyal, 18 1/2 years old Outback (including the apple Dale recommends), the smoke was present in that car for about 15 years, no way to get rid of it. Every time I turned on the AC, it would take about 2-3 minutes for the stink to eventually get replaced by whatever fragrance dispenser I have in it.


The new car matches the new me, and there is no turning back; the new car will never allow any smoker to smoke inside, still debating if it will allow any smoker do drive in it, period.  I guess it will, just not smoking inside is allowed.


We did not trade in the Subaru; it helped us for so many years, it is almost like a family member.  Thankfully this past spring we put down another slab of concrete, there is plenty of room for 3 cars to park, even more.  The Outback is our old friend we are taking care of in its old days, and if I have to drive it, it will be a constant reminder that "I do not do that anymore"!


Of course, I am not going to say I got a new car paid by the savings of 3 1/2 years of not buying cigarettes, but the savings really helped, and it also made me feel entitled to a nice reward!


No matter how hard life gets (and it was not an easy year for me, like for many of us here on this site), smoking is not the response!


All of you reading here, having not decided about quitting or not, please do this service to yourself, life is so much better, brighter, cleaner without smoking!


New Shoe

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Nov 21, 2019

I learned a joke when I were young:

The teacher asks the kindergarten class: "what are you missing at home, can I help anyone", the kids take turns responding: "crayons, a phone, a dog...and so on"; one of them the proverbial "retarded" says "nothing, we have everything, I heard dad say last night, after my sister told him she was 15 and pregnant, dad said: that's all we were missing..."

And look at me, all I missed was a new shoe, after hitting my toes against the wooden leg of the sofa.

Anyone familiar with it?

And BTW when I hurt it, more than 10 days ago, I did not think much of it, iced it and lived with the pain, without looking for comfort in the old addiction, NOPE!!!


Can I do it afterwards?  You see the driver's window open?  That served the driver, a man about my age, to throw out his cigarette butt, which hit my car...

Now, since I am an EX, rarely do I drive with the window open, but if I were, I could have been on fire this morning because of that...

What would you do if you were me??? I am still mad at him, and he is old enough to know better....keep his butts to himself!

Image result for grr



Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Nov 12, 2019

Never had one drink of it; I am having it tonight! 36 years wedding anniversary, hubby was tired,he is taking a nap, and I am enjoying 50ml of Limoncello, man, it's strong.

I only new about it from watching Giada on the Food channel using it in her cakes/cookies, what a guilty pleasure.

And it is lifting my spirits, ha, spirit is lifting my spirits!

I can't have too much, the mini-bottle I purchased along with a $60.00 bottle of Cognac for hubby, will not give me more than a little smile.

And I will leave you with a smile, don't drink too much, ever, a quit is not something an EX wants to risk, no matter how delicious the pleasure of drinking might be!

Be well my friends, smile, life is getting better as an EX!

Even the mini-bottle is cute, look at it!

Image result for limoncello mini bottles by morey

Life did not spoil me lately; many reasons to feel overwhelmed, treated unfairly (by life), tired with no apparent reason, mindlessly watching Netflix in the evenings instead of doing something more useful.  But I am tired, and depressed.  The thyroid is all over the place sending me in all kind of "unsafe" places; like the thought of not being anymore viewed as the ultimate solution to a complicated life which I feel is pushing me into the ground.


And another "possible" resolution???  Going back to smoking!


You think I am kidding, you think after more than 3 and 1/2 year of smobriety, I should be over that?  One would think but it is not true, I am still not over that!


Marilyn Marilyn.H.July.14.14. says it so often, we need to be vigilant!  It is what I am doing today, I am coming back to safety, back where I am being understood and supported.

Maybe it is not as serious as to title the blog "Help", but it is serious enough to start questioning my sanity in front of you all.


There were so many Dr's appointments in the last 2-3 months, for mom, myself and Nello, many of them disappointing, lacking clear direction, leaving me having to make decisions for treatment.  It should not be this way. Or so I think.  And maybe right here is the root of my depression: constant lack of satisfaction with our medical system, feeling left to my own devices to make it all work for my family and myself. I am almost ready to adopt the young pharmacist at our local CVS, I am seeing her several times/week, we started talking about weekends, and she recognizes me on the phone...


I will not smoke now, I am committed to this moment, and say no, I will not pick up another cigarette today!

Because the work we all have to do to reach 1338 DOF is no joke, and I will not give up on myself.


I am here to stay, here to stay smober, no matter what, and to see the colors of rainbow again, with a light heart!

It's been a long week for me, and did not get to check in very often.


However, I've been thinking of you all, and stopped by only to wish everyone a great weekend.


Get out of the house, I am sure autumn offers all kind of beautiful views, wherever in this country, it's started cooling down in Arizona.


Finish your Skype session with your favorite kitty and go enjoy a walk in nature!




A short blog

Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Sep 23, 2019

Not exactly about smoking, and yet, seeing your own mom becoming less and less resourceful to be on her own, it is a darn "reason" to smoke.  But it is where I am wrong: it is not a reason, it is an excuse one would use to start smoking again.

From the perspective given to me by the 31/2 years of freedom I gained, this is to tell you no matter how hard life can get, no matter that watching her every steps is giving you heart pains, there are always better things to do with your time than smoking.

In my case was helping her with almost every step since last Tuesday when she first fell, to requesting I work from home for at least one week, to watch her and be around for whatever she might need me, to watching her getting better and hoping the changes will stick, looking for the moments of clarity of her mind, or crying in my own bedroom after I put her to sleep for the night.

I am standing tall (as tall as a broken, and stretched back allows me to do), as an Ex, a daughter who sees her mom going towards life's NML, and living every minute with her to the fullest.

Winter is just one season.

Image result for life challenges



Posted by Daniela-3-11-2016 Aug 23, 2019

Quitting smoking is about becoming someone else, as one of the contemporary teachers says, it is about "Breaking the habit of being yourself".

Here are some quotes for Friday inspiration!

Image result for funny quotes about change and growth

Image result for funny quotes about change and growth

Image result for funny quotes about change and growth

Image result for funny quotes about change and growth

Image result for funny quotes about change and growth

Image result for funny quotes about change and growth