The Difference

[SimplySheri]

~~Honesty is more than not lying.  It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving.~~ Faust

I like honesty.  I can admire someone who comes here and is honest about feelings, thoughts, or behaviors.  It helps to get these things out here rather than just keeping those words bottled up inside, building and building until you've managed to make a mountain out of the proverbial molehill.

There is a difference, however, between honesty and being snarky.  There is a difference between honesty and opinion. 

Honesty is coming here and saying, "I don't want to quit, even though I know I need to."  Or "It is hard for me to get through these craves."  Or even "I hate feeling this way so I smoked one last night."  Honesty means focusing on you and your behaviors, thoughts, and feelings.

Opinion hidden as honesty is "NRTs don't work".  "Vaping is better than smoking".  "Planning a quit date is a recipe for failure". Opinions are your thoughts and ideas and feeling about other things other than yourself.

Snarky is "Putting your head in a freezer is silly".  "I cannot abide those positive people who are constantly cheerful.  There has to be something wrong with them".  "He's too full of himself to understand anyone else."  Snarky is bullying behaviors or passive-aggressive attempts to let others know how little you think about them or their advise.

Truth does not mean putting your focus on someone else's quit or advice or personality and sharing your conclusions.  Truth does not mean twisting facts to your way of thinking.  Truth does not mean poking fun at another quitter. 

We share here.  We offer advice.  We support.  We learn different ways and different behaviors and different points of view.  And we gain from them and we grow from them.  And we learn that each quitter is a magnificent human being with unique skills and talents who offers something precious to our site by simply being here and being honest.

Now you can be who you are here.  Even if you give your opinions and they are damaging.  Even if you are being snarky and it hurts someone else.  Even if you are wrong in what you say. That's the glory of this site.  Everyone is welcome and everyone can post a blog.

But don't call it being honest if all you are doing is being critical of another.  That's not honesty and that's not truth.  That's simply you being who you are. 

Thank you to the EX community for offering everyone a place to share their truths   I've seen you support even those who are a little less than kind.  I've seen you offer words of comfort, hope, and sweetness to those who answer with less than gratitude.  I've seen you encourage when you've been rejected and you still are here tomorrow. 

Truth?  I admire these quitters wholeheartedly.  I respect these quitters tremendously.  I'm in awe of their grace and courage and strength of character.  I strive to be more like them....the kindness, the caring, the gentle support....but this is who I am.