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2020

~~What consumes your mind, controls your life.~~  Unknown

 

You know you are addicted to a substance if you try to stay away from it and it slowly consumes your thoughts to the point you can't function without 'giving in' to it.  You know what I mean.  You're in a meeting and it's taking too long so you start looking at the clock wishing you could smoke.  And as the day draws on, the thought of smoking becomes larger and larger in your mind until you finally get a chance to slip away.  Then with the very first puff, you 'relax' and think "Ah, this is what I needed".

 

Yep, you relaxed....until the next time you need one.  And the next time.  And it goes on and on and on.  That cycle of living your life until nicotine screams at you that you "need" more to relax.

 

I hate that.  I hate that addiction alters your thinking to the point you think you need the very substance that has the power to kill you.  You crave poison.  You 'enjoy' toxic chemicals.  You befriend your killer. 

 

I used to do it, too.  It started changing for me when I began to understand addiction.  It started to make sense and ultimately I quit almost seven years ago.

 

But it doesn't work that way for everyone.  I work with those who have quit things like heroin, methamphetamine, opiates, and alcohol yet stayed tied to smoking as if their lives depended on it.  And in their addiction, they refuse to even think about the illnesses...the cancers....the deaths attributed to smoking.  They mindlessly light up over and over and over while refusing to consider what they are doing to themselves.  And the professionals who are tasked with teaching them how to live in recovery?  They smoke, too.

 

Nicotine is just plain evil...well, in my mind anyway.  And what makes it worse is that it is legal to light up and legal to kill yourself that way.  Tobacco companies need to be shut down and I hate that they make a profit over other peoples' illnesses and deaths.  I hate even more that they are finding new ways to get money off of this addiction to nicotine.

 

I needed to vent today, I guess.  I needed to come here and say please, please open your mind to the possibility that maybe you need to quit.  That maybe you can quit.  That maybe you are stronger than your fear of quitting.  That maybe life is waiting just over that mountain and maybe that mountain is really just a molehill made bigger by that addiction that clings to you.

 

Let it go, please.  Please.  There is no good reason to smoke and there is every reason in the world to quit.  Truly.  Think about it.  And knowledge is power so come here and read, read, read!!  So many people here have written brilliant posts about how to quit, why you should quit, and what you can do instead.  There are posts about life that inspire you and their are posts about loss that will bring you to tears. And in every word on this site, their is hope and love and challenge and motivation and answers.  

 

Please use this site....use every part of this site...to gain knowledge about addiction and coping skills and quitting and, well, life.  Because we only have one and I am NOT going to let addiction take that away from me.  I'm hoping the same for you. 

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Your Mona Lisa

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Feb 23, 2020

~~It doesn't take much to either shift or elevate your state of mind.  Listen to a good song.  Compliment someone.  Realize and acknowledge the fact that you haven't even painted your Mona Lisa yet.  Your best is yet to come and it's so above and beyond what you envision for yourself that when it comes, you'll laugh at the bar and expectations you had previously set for yourself.  You will set fire to your goals.~~ SourceMessages

 

Shifting your state of mind.  That's all it takes, really.  To say "I can" rather than "I can't".  To think "It's not so bad" rather than "This totally sucks".  To be grateful for what you have rather than resentful for what you lack.

 

The whole world changes then.  You see beauty where there once was gray.  You feel the warmth of the sun where there once was coldness.  Your heart expands.  Your muscles relax.  And contentment happens.

 

There is so much more for you to experience, you see.  You haven't yet painted your Mona Lisa.  You haven't yet discovered the depth of your talents or the precision of your skills.  The best of who you are has yet to make an appearance....she's/he's waiting for you to believe in yourself.  To revel in your own being.  To recognize the sheer magnitude of who you truly are.

 

Because as smokers, we shrivel ourselves.  That addiction grows and our true beings are shoved back into the shadows.  Addiction does that, you know.  Think about it, if we used our wisdom and our courage and our sense of self-worth....we wouldn't be smokers.  Addiction changes our mind sets and weakens our beings.

 

But hold tight to the knowledge that the best is yet to come.  And it is better than anything you've ever imagined.  So during the early days of you quit and during your weaker moments and during those trying times, remember the best is yet to come and it will be so good and strong and utterly amazing....and all the struggles you had to hang on to your quit will be so very worth it.  I promise you, it will be worth it.

 

Hold on to that light at the end of the tunnel.  Hold on to those magical thoughts of better days.  Hold on to you...because you deserve that best....and that best is yet to come

~~She survived.  She grew.  She fell.  She picked herself up.  She learned.  She became.  She broke.  She mended herself.  She gave.  She tried real hard.  She hurt.  She healed herself.  Yes, she did it all.  And she was everything she ever needed.  But she only realized that later in the game. It was a magical find nonetheless.~~  S.C. Lourie

 

Yep, it's true!!  You are all you ever need.  You can get through anything and EVERYTHING!!  Including quitting smoking.   It's in you....that power to persevere....that drive to keep going....that strength to try one more time until you get it right.  It's all there.  But just like unused muscles, our will to overcome gets weaker when we don't use it....until it feels like it's gone forever and we don't know how to bring it back.

 

You can mend yourself.  You can grow.  You can survive.  You can become.  You can heal.  I know that with every fiber f my being.  Not just because I did it but because  the universe didn't need you, you wouldn't be here.  

 

So yes, the magic is there for you and you can successfully quit smoking.  Be deliberate with your quit and know your coping skills.  That will help tremendously.  .Have your plan in place and know who your support system is...know what you're going to do when a craving 'surprises' you....and be honest in your recovery.  No excuses, no blame, no shame.  Just move forward, create the non-smoking life you so deserve, and curb the impulse to sabotage your own quit.

 

That power to persevere is in you.  You are all you ever need to succeed.  And that, my friend, makes you magical.  

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Just Like That

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Feb 16, 2020

~~And one day, just like that...You'll re-discover your light. You'll embrace your inner warrior.  You'll snatch your power back.  And the whole game will change.~~  Elevate Your Mind, Free Your Soul

 

It may not seem like it now at the beginning of your quit.  You may feel shaky and unsure.  You may not feel your strength or your confidence or your courage.  You may feel at the mercy of your addiction and not understand how to change the game.

 

But, oh my goodness, watch out!!  You truly do have light in you.  Light so strong you'll chase the shadows back so far you'll only see brightness!  You'll not only embrace your inner warrior but you'll also slay those dragons who tormented you for so long.  And your power?  Your power will come out so brilliant and true that you'll almost forget you ever bowed to your addiction.

 

How do I know when I don't know you?  Because I know all those things are in all of us.  You weren't overlooked when you were created....you weren't given 'less than' everyone else....you weren't born to suffer and agonize and live your life in turmoil.  I. Know. 

 

And now you do as well. So trust that all the ingenuity and the exquisiteness and the potential is there in you, gaining strength and  emerging from the years of being buried beneath poisons and smoke.  And when it does?  The whole game will change, I promise you.  No more fear of losing your quit, instead you'll protect it with a warrior's fierceness.  No more cringing when a crave hits, instead you'll recognize it for what it is.  No more than a glimpse of a memory of what you used to do.  No more cowering from your quit.  No more being at the mercy of your addiction.  

 

You will shine.  That shaky quit you are hanging on to will blossom into a smoke free lifestyle that you really will enjoy the rest of your life.  

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

The Trick

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Feb 9, 2020

~~The trick is to enjoy life.  Don't wish away your days waiting for better ones ahead.~~  Marjorie Pay Hinckley

 

One of my favorite quotes is something about "Don't live the same day for 75 years and call it a life".  Same thing as above, I think.  And when we quit smoking, sometimes we tend to white knuckle our days, hoping to reach day 1000000 soon because we are so not happy with day 1.  When is it going to get better?  Why don't I feel better?  Why is it so hard???  Ugh, I hate my day!!!  I'm depressed...I'm angry....I'm sad....

 

Quits can be hard, absolutely!!  It's creating a lifestyle, not just not grabbing a cigarette.  And there are going to be moments that crush us...there are going to be moments that surprise us....there are going to be moments that give us glimpses of how life truly can be.

 

Please don't hang on to those crushing moments and make them your day.  Don't hang on to your stress or anxiety.  Don't hang on to the thought that you are miserable.  None of these moments will last any longer than you allow them to.  They are just 5 to 10 minutes our of your entire day.

 

Find the fun.  Find the serenity.  Find the gratitude.  Find the laughter.  Find all those sweet, enjoyable moments that make memories in your heart so that when you aren't ok, you can know that you will be again.  

 

It isn't what you're losing that matters.  It's all that you gain.  It isn't wanting a cigarette that should be your focus, it's remembering that you want to be free of them.  It's getting through the craves, not getting stuck in them.  It's knowing you can rather than wishing you could.  It's giggling with life rather than hating it.  It is, in fact, loving yourself enough to gift yourself a life without poisons.

 

So yes, there will be moments of ickiness.  But there are more moments of pure goodness.  There are choices to make, you see....holding on to the icky or embracing the goodness.  Hating your quit or loving yourself through it.  Clinging to your fears or letting them drift away.  

 

I hope you find the humor.  I hope you search for peace.  I hope you turn to the joy life offers you.  It isn't always easy but it is always, always worth it.  

~~The best day of your life is the one on which  you decide your life is your own.  No apologies or excuses.  No one to rely on or to blame.  The gift is yours, it's an amazing journey and you along are responsible for the quality of it.~~Bob Moawad

 

I was a confused quitter for the longest time.  I tried to 'follow the directions' of quitting.  I tried the suggestions.  I copy catted the successful ones.  But nothing seemed to work! I couldn't keep a quit going no matter what I chose to do.  I decided I needed to step back for a bit.  I did some good thinking and honest soul searching until I figured out that I had to stop doing it someone else's way....and create a quit that fit who I was.

 

Quitters, you see, come in all shapes and sizes.  Truly!!  And they are all represented right here on this site.  

 

Some quitters use their remarkable faith and spirituality to keep their quit going strong.  indingrl.01.06.2011 is such a beautiful example of this!!  So are Thomas3.20.2010 and OldBones-Larry.  If you are needing support that comes from your faith, please visit their blogs.  They are amazing examples of faith-based, strong quits

 

Some quitters are creative and funny and use their wacky sense of humor to get them through their quits.  jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 is such an example.  Talented, hilarious, and spot on about what to do to keep your quit going.  He quit his own, unique way and it's still working for him   Now, Mandolinrain is an artist as well and simply so amazingly talented that it inspires me as well to create!  One sings, one paints but both use their talents to get through.  

 

Some quitters are like family...warm and loving, offering an ear, a shoulder, and words of comfort and caring.  Marilyn.H.July.14.14., Youngatheart.7.4.12, elvan, sweetplt, Mandolinrain are only a few of the quitters offer warmth and a sense of belonging.  It's who they are and it's how they've kept their fabulous quits!!  

 

Some quitters are leaders...warriors and shepherds who keep watch over all of us and offer wisdom, support, and realism about quitting.  Giulia, JACKIE1-25-15, Strudel,  and Sootie are magnificent examples of this.  They know themselves well enough to create lasting quits and now they pass on to us their strength, their vision, and their light.

 

Some quitters are fierce defenders of all quitters.  They are here mostly daily, supporting and lifting up and applauding.  Barbscloud, Christine13, Pops are like that.  They help, they take care of their own quits, and they share their hearts.  They know what it's like to quit...the ups and the downs...and they truly get it.  In addition, they offer unconditional, firm support to others.  I admire them!

 

Each one of these quitters did it their way.  It's the only way to have a successful quit.  Know what will work for you and get the kind of support that will reinforce your quit.  Don't be a copy of someone else's success....make it your own!!  Be who you are and keep it real for you.  The best day of your life can be when you decide to make your quit your own.

 

**These are only a few of the remarkable quitters on ex.  I could write forever on all the people here who do such selfless, amazing work!!!  Please know that I think all of you are tremendously important, talented, wonderful human beings   Mike from the city and from Atlanta, Bonnie, Our own Tommy...the list goes on.  My point is for those trying to quit....get to know these people!  Read their posts and take from them all the things that will help you make your quit your own  **

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Go Easy

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Feb 6, 2020

~~Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world.  All things break.  And all things can be mended.  Not with time, as they say, but with intention.  So go.  Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally.  The broken world waits in darkness for the light that is you.~~  L.R. Knost

 

Life can be hard.  Our hearts get bruised, our trust shattered, our dreams killed.  And sometimes it feels like the whole world is dark around us...cold and hard and we lose something of ourselves....

 

We lose heart when those we trust are brutal...angry...dismissive.

We lose hope when nothing we try seems to work.

We lose our confidence when cruel words from loved ones echo in our minds.

 

Those are all tough but there is something even more destructive to our well being.  Us ourselves.

We tell ourselves we're stupid when we make a mistake....we tell ourselves we are clumsy, we are dumb, we can't do anything right.  We tell ourselves we aren't worthy of respect or love or kindness.  We beat ourselves up over and over and over for all the things we 'aren't'.

 

Until little by little, our souls shrink just a bit.  Our spirit waivers.  Our outlook on life dims.  All because we see ourselves as imperfect.

 

Yet, if we think about it, all those little imperfections make us who we are.  Our large ears hear the laughter of our children and make us smile.  Our round bellies remind us of good meals with our loved ones when everything was just perfect....for a while.  Our mistakes are stepping stones to learning more about ourselves, our lives, our beings.  And we are simply perfect in all those imperfections.

 

So go easy.  Go easy on yourself when you look in the mirror.  You are lovely. 

Go easy on yourself when you step on the scale.  Numbers can go down as quickly as they go up.  When they can't because of medical conditions or metabolism, go easy on yourself and take good, good care of you.

Go easy on yourself when you quit on your quit.  Your mistakes are not WHO you are, they are what you are doing and you can change what you're doing any time you want to.

 

Life can be hard, yes.  But we don't have to add to that hardness.  Go easy, my friends, and find softness in who you are.  Be kind to others because you don't know what they're going through....but be kind to yourself because you do.  Be kind to yourself because you're trying and that counts.  Be kind to yourself because, unfortunately, maybe no one else will....and you so need someone on your side.  So make it yourself.  And just go easy.