~~She sits alone hurting in the dark. Not ready to reach for the candle I offer, blowing it out. I sit down next to her and wait. We'll light the candle together when she's ready. For now, I'll trust in the darkness for us both and sit quietly beside her-letting her know she's not alone. Letting her know that darkness is ok. Letting her know that I'm there waiting with a candle.~~ Unknown
Holidays are hard for some people. They may be alone or they may be struggling financially or they may even feel too depressed too celebrate anything.
Quitting smoking is hard for some people. They may be fearful of quitting or they may be uncertain of their own abilities or they may even feel too depressed or anxious to quit.
Life itself is hard for some people. They may feel unloved or they may think they're unworthy of good things or they may even feel too depressed to feel anything at all.
That's why support sites, I think, are important. That's why elders are important. And that's why humans themselves are important. We are the ones with the understanding of what it feels like to....fear quitting....to feel unloved...to be uncertain....to suffer depression...to struggle. We know. And in that knowledge grows wisdom and courage and empathy so that the next need not feel so alone. Or forgotten. Or scared.
We can't fix others. We can't quit for them. We can't even make the bad times disappear. But we can be with them. Just be with. To hold space for them...meaning that we are willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they are on without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome. We instead open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgment and control.
We've been there, most of us. And in going through it ourselves, some want to help the next in line. Here on the EX site, there are many who are here every day offering support, encouragement, and knowledge. Others pray. Some offer laughter and lightness. Some offer the healing of music and art.
Thank you to those people who stay. Thank you to those who reach out even to one. Thank you to those who document their own journeys to make it easier on the next. Thank you to those who share personal stories. Thank you to each heart which has hurt for someone else.
And to those who may feel unloved...forgotten...unworthy...lost...alone, you aren't any of those things. For where you are isn't who you are. I have a candle...and so do others. We will sit and wait with you in your darkness until you're ready for the light.