~~Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.~~ Gandhi
Shhh...it's ok. You can cry. You can whimper. You can crawl rather than run through your quit. It happens.
You see, quitting comes with challenges. It just does. It can be hard and it can be overwhelming and the power of addiction can grab you in a chokehold and take your breath away.
No one expects you to be Atlas....King Kong....Superman. Strength, you see, comes not from powering mightily through your quit but through hanging on for that next moment...that next breath....that next reprieve. Don't try to move that whole mountain....simply walk that next step. Don't worry about possible storms up ahead....just move through this one. Here. Now.
You're doing ok. Just by holding on. Even if you're trembling. Even if you're weak as a kitten. Even if you don't know if you can make it another day. Sit in the moment and just be. You don't have to roar through the day and you don't have to pretend. Just be. Tears streaming....body weary. Just be.
Strength, you see, comes from deciding not to surrender. That's all. Don't give up. Even if you're weak, even if you hate it, even if you wonder if it's all worth it. Don't surrender. And in your decision not to surrender, you will find power. Power to get through that next moment. Power to break that chain of thought. Power to breathe one more smoke free breath.
Every second you don't surrender, you build strength. And in doing so, you begin to believe in yourself just a little bit more. And you start to dip another toe into your quit, realizing maybe you can. You may even feel a secret thrill of delight in getting through your day. All while still holding your breath a bit because you don't know what you'll feel next.
Welcome to your quit...the good, the bad, the struggles. Addiction versus life. Put them down, please and don't look back. Make it through your quit as slowly as you need to. As carefully as you need to. Strength is there keeping you quit. Put the mountain down and just take that next step. You'll get there.
It's ok to not be ok. It's ok.