~~Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in the lonely frustration for the life you deserved but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desire can be won. It exists. It is real. It is possible. It is yours.~~ Ayn Rand
I'm sorry you're struggling. I'm sorry you're sad. I'm sorry you have yet to reach that smoke free world you desire. You may stumble, you may waiver, but please don't let that fire go out!! Don't let that hero in your soul perish!! It's in you to quit and it's in you to stay the smoke free road and it's in you to become who you were always meant to be. I promise you it's in you. And if you have to scrape it off layer by layer and bit by bit, we will be right here holding your hand and reminding you that you are worth it.
Recovery is real. Living life smoke free is possible. It exists and it's waiting for you to accept it. In your time, in your way. Because that is the only way to do it. Look inward. Understand what you're getting into when you quit. And know that each moment you spend smoke free means you really can live a smoke free life.
You don't believe it, I know. You have your doubts, you only know a smoking world. It's comfortable to you even though you know that it's hurting you, too. Addiction is like that and it's so much easier to believe the lies than face the truth. No, my friend, smoking does not relax you. Getting that hit of nicotine...that addictive substance into your brain...that drug....that calms the brain while killing the body.
There will come a time when your fire will once again spark and the hero in you will rise up to lead you into freedom. Don't ignore it. Embrace it and move into the world you truly desire. It is real.