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All People > Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 > Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Blog > 2019 > March
2019

~~There is no such thing as "Going back to square one."  Even if you feel like you're having to start over, you are trying again with more knowledge, strength, and power than you had before.  Your journey was never over, it was just waiting for you to find it again.~~  Unknown

 

I know it's discouraging when we 'lose' a quit.  I know it's a struggle to go back to 'day 1'.  And I know it feels like starting over means failure.

In reality, relapse just means that your journey is waiting for you to catch up. 

Does that sound like an excuse?  It's not.  Really.  And it's not one of Sheri's 'feel good' moments or a glossing over of a quit gone wrong.

Quitting is hard.  There is so much information we are trying to process on our quit!  Addiction, triggers, cravings, support, coping skills, physical withdrawals, psychological withdrawals, emotional cyclones, fear.  Excitement.  Courage.  And you know the list goes on.

We read.  We ask questions.  We try to act 'normally'.  The world continues on even when we get dizzy with trying to keep things under control.  The cravings.  The emotions.  The quit.

Sometimes it's a shattered heart that knocks us off our path.  Sometimes it's an exhausted spirit.  It may even be a self-fulfilling prophesy of 'can't do anything right'. 

Once the relapse occurs, we may decide to jump right back on the quit, no problem.  We may decide we are going to wallow in our negative emotions for a while.  Or possibly sit back and think about why we smoked....as we continue to smoke.

Negativity can spin out of control.  It can swallow us whole and make us forget everything we learned up to this point.  My advice is to put the brakes on that kind of thinking and REMEMBER instead.

Remember that you know more about addiction now and how relapse is part of recovery.  Remember that you found the strength to quit to begin with.  That strength is still inside of you, waiting to be brought back out.  Remember that your support is still your support here.  We are waiting to be of help so it's ok to ask questions, tell us your stories, and share your journey.  Remember that knowledge is power and you have so much more knowledge now than when you first started.  Which means the power is there, too.  Gather it, use it.

Relapse.  Sounds bad.  Feels worse.  But it's not the end of the world and it's not the end of your quit, not if you don't want it to be.  Your journey is there, waiting for you.  Step back on the path and continue your quit with more knowledge, strength, and power than you had before. 

 

You can.

 

Sheri

~~The worst part about anything that's self-destructive is that it's so intimate.  You become so close with your addictions and illnesses that leaving them behind is like killing the part of yourself that taught you how to survive.~~  Lacey L

 

Often when we quit smoking, we mourn for those times we left behind.  Those "relaxing" moments, those "I am missing my best friend" moments. Those "Thank goodness I can breathe again" moments.    Not because we liked or miss being addicted but because our lives revolved around that addiction.  Those times when we could finally have a cigarette and just leave the rest of the world alone.

And that's truly how we survived.  Nicotine became the core of how we coped with life.  That is what addiction is.  Our anchor...or more accurately, our ball and chain. 

But that ball and chain was so easy.  Just light up and for 5 minutes or so, everything was just wonderful.  And lighting up over 10 to 20 to 30 times a day?  Made cigarettes a necessity to function through our day.  So to leave it all behind can be not only hard but it can make us actually feel panicky and alone.  How are we going to survive without our core coping skill????

This is exactly why I think educating ourselves about addiction can help.  Because the basic truth is that smoking is a negative coping skill that can actually kill us rather than give us a life of 'feeling better'.  The momentary relief we feel because our brains get the nicotine is craves is nothing compared to living on oxygen or going through chemo.  The reality of smoking is entirely, completely, utterly different than what addiction allows us to believe.

It's up to us to change our thinking.  Yes, it's hard.  Yes, it's uncomfortable.  At first.  It's unfamiliar territory to think we don't want to go back to smoking.  Secretly the addictive part of our brains probably...most likely...does.  At first.  But the more we change the way we think, the easier it becomes.  When we don't feed our addiction, we can think more clearly and make rational decisions.

I get to attend the Indoor Percussion Championships today at the University of Southern Alabama.  Jake is performing.  The show is spectacular and I believe they can win   Not once will I have to sneak out to have a cigarette.  Not once will I feel anxious because I "need" to relax.  Not once will I feel jealous as I see someone else puffing away.  I don't do that anymore and haven't for almost 6 years.  That 6 years started with a single step...the first day....NML.  We all start the same.  But you get to decide how long you remain smoke free.  Think before you smoke.  Day 1 doesn't ever get easier.

 

Happy Saturday

 

Sheri

~~How cool is it that the same God who created mountains and oceans and galaxies looked at you and thought the world needed one of you, too.~~  Unknown

 

Just a reminder   You have purpose.  You have worth.  You are NOT your mistakes.  You are NOT your past.  You are hand picked by God to be here.  And that says it all.

 

Sheri

 

~~The hardest part about recovery is when you're not so sure you want to recover.~~ Unknown

 

Everyone knows that smoking kills, right?  So of course it's time to quit and you've now had two days....ten days...two months of no smoking.  As everyone congratulates you, you wonder why you aren't as happy for you as they are.  And sometimes you wonder why you don't feel like yourself and secretly think that you were much better a person when you smoked. 

Addiction doesn't stop once you quit smoking.  That's what I think.  Just because you aren't puffing away doesn't mean that you are recovered.  The physical part of addiction may be over but there is a psychological part that takes longer to recover from.  And to recover from it, I think we have to really understand and accept that we didn't really "like" smoking....we weren't really "happier".....it didn't really "relax" us.

 

We were (are) addicted.  We would have needed that next cigarette regardless of whether we were happy with it or not.  We would have needed that next puff regardless of whether it relaxed us or not.  Nicotine stimulates the 'feel good' neurotransmitters in the brain that make us think we are relaxed and happy.  But just as some schizophrenia symptoms make people see things that aren't really there, nicotine makes us feel things that aren't  really there.  Sort of 'false positives'. 

 

So when we quit smoking and decide that we were happier smoking, that's just addiction's way to get that hit of nicotine back in our brains.  It doesn't make our feelings any less real to us, however, and it can be easy to dismiss the idea of addiction with "I don't care.  I want to feel like me again."

 

I hear people here holding on to those feel good moments of smoking.  I get it.  I really do.  It takes tremendous effort to accept that what you're feeling is lingering addictive thinking.  That's all it is.  But it can be powerful and recovering smokers sometimes don't know how to get out of that kind of thinking.  It's one thing to hear "Change your thinking", but it's another to actually be able to do it.

 

I wish I had the answers for you.  Truly.  Because I hate that some people struggle and I hate that addiction sometimes wins.  But change comes from within, right?  It helped me so much when I learned about addiction.  But for others it may have been simply a decision to get healthier.  Still others it could have been the fear of illness.  Quits are as individual as we are.  That's why it's so helpful when you post what works for you.  Giving options and suggestions can really be eye openers for those who struggle.

 

Please know that it's never too late to quit smoking and it's never to late to turn your latest relapse into your forever quit.  Yes, you can.

 

Sheri

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

So Why Not You?

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Mar 26, 2019

~~Today I want you to ask yourself this one question.  "Why not you?"  Why not you to do something for work that you love?  Why not you to have a healthy body?  Why not you to have healthy love?  Why not you to be, have, or do anything you have ever dreamed?  We are so quick to think others are deserving over ourselves.  The truth is that we are all deserving so why not you?!~~  Jillian Michaels

 

So I was in class yesterday at the jail and we briefly got off subject to talk about what getting a GED does for a person.  You know....a boost to the self-esteem, more job opportunities, possible trade school or college asperations...when one of the men I teach said, "Yeah, well, I'm just a f*&)up and nothing's going to change that."  He wasn't angry, he wasn't pitying himself....it was just a statement said in his truth.

While his view of himself hurt my heart, this wasn't about me but of him and his view of himself.  How can he ever live his best life when he thinks the worst?

And how can smokers go into a quit knowing they 'will fail' and 'can't do it'? That they are "just smokers and nothing is going to change that". They may have stopped their active using but they are somewhere stuck between the 'not smoking right now' and the 'quit'.  They are often building themselves up for the monster fail.  The all encompassing "omg, I just couldn't take it anymore" relapses.  Some don't ever come back here because quitting is not for them.  Some get right back on that horse but don't know how to ride.  Some finally reach that level of acceptance and surrender that does indeed lead to their 'forever quit'.

But if you are quitting knowing that you will fail, then you are not quitting.  You are just not smoking and hoping for a miracle cure.  Please don't do that to yourself!!  You are that miracle cure!  You have to believe better of yourself than "I will just fail again".  You have to know you have what it takes...whatever 'it' is.  Courage.  Strength.  Commitment.  Knowledge.  Everything you need to quit is already inside you but it's up to you to believe that and pull it out.  

 

My GED student?  Well, we talked about self-fulfilling prophesies.  We also talked about the people who love him and how they see something in him worth loving.  And we talked about those moments in his life when he felt like he did something good.  I saw his eyes flicker with a sudden understanding of what we were saying.  He was actually quiet the rest of the class and I'm hoping he was thinking how maybe he wasn't such a f****up after all.  I think we'll take 5 or 10 minutes before we start class from now on to talk about the good they feel they do and maybe about how they see themselves each day.

Maybe you can do that, too?  Maybe if you're struggling with your quit or you think you can't quit...well, maybe you can talk about all those times you did something you didn't think you could do.  Maybe you can think about all the good in you that will help you maintain your quit.  And maybe you can feel like you are worth quitting for.  Reach out.  Ask.  Share.  We're here for you.

 

Blessings,

Sheri 

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

My Wish

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Mar 24, 2019

~~My wish for you:  I wish you happiness--the kind that's deep within your soul and shines through your eyes. I wish you serenity and a sense of perspective that calms you and lends you understanding in the most difficult times.  I wish you success in every facet of your life; satisfaction and contentment in everything you do.  I wish you dreams with the promise of their fulfillment; a lifetime of extraordinary memories and a path which leads to beautiful tomorrows.~~  Unknown

 

It's true.  I do.  The world can sometimes be harsh.  People can sometimes act ugly.  Life can be exhausting.  But sometimes we see the world and people and life through smoke covered glasses.  We take our fear and our anxiety and our resentment over 'having to quit' and we see everything as we feel, not as it truly is.

 

So I wish for you all the good that life has to offer and I hope that you are ready to receive it   I hope you wake in the morning with joy in your heart and a lovely feeling of anticipation for all the good to come.  I hope you feel the sun on your face and hear the song of nature.  And may a sense of contentment carry you throughout your day. 

 

And when you feel scared or lonely, may you remember that you are loved by people here and in your world.  And that love can carry you when you're weak and warm you when you are cold. 

 

Sweet dreams to all of you tonight.  May you sleep with peace in your heart and a smile on your face.  I won't be here tomorrow but know you'll be in my thoughts  

 

Sheri

~~When you blame others, you give up your power to change.~~ Dr. Robert Anthony

 

Of course life can get stressful and your boss can get on your last nerve and your children can break your heart and your spouse doesn't understand you.  And you can say you smoked because you were afraid you lost you job or your neighbor stole your favorite wrench.  You didn't want to blow up at your oldest or you didn't want to cry in front of a co-worker. 

But smoking is entirely and totally your decision.  No one can 'make' us smoke any more than anyone can 'make' us mad.  We get to choose how we react to a person, a situation, or an event. 

So let go of the blame.  Release it and accept that we can't force others to behave in ways that we feel comfortable with.  Their behaviors are a reflection of their truths...how we respond is a reflection of ours.

When we let go of blaming, we start gaining control of our worlds.  Our responses become more in line with who we are rather than a reaction to what we see.  In letting go of blame, we move more easily into gaining control of what we do and how we interact with others.

Blaming means giving up our power to change.  Letting go of blame allows us the freedom to make decisions based on our own thoughts and feelings rather than another's actions.

So a thought for today....let it go.  Allow others to be who they are, period.  And build your world around who you are.  Because who you are is remarkable, amazing, and beautiful.  Truly. 

 

Sheri

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Time Flies

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Mar 23, 2019

~~Time flies.  Time flies faster every year.  Time flies whether you're having fun or not, whether you're living your life big or small, whether you surround yourself with fear or laughter.~~  Claire Cook

 

Have you ever been so engrossed in a book that you totally forget time?  Or are you one who goes out to the garden for a quick minute to check on your plants and end up spending all afternoon outside?  Or are you an artist who can work on a painting for hours?

 

Time flies when you're having fun.  It's true.  So use that during your quit...especially the early days   Do those things that make you lose track of time.  Maybe a jigsaw puzzle?  Maybe you refinish furniture.  Are you learning to dance?  Or are  you learning some new recipes?

 

I'm a big proponent of having fun!  Of laughing.  Of making memories.  Because you never get a second chance to live life today.  Surround yourself with things you love to do and people you love to do those things with.  Don't get stuck feeling burdened by your quit.  Your quit is a gift and life is a gift...enjoy them

 

That's all I have for tonight.  It's time for evening yoga.  Namaste.

 

Sheri

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Just for Today

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Mar 23, 2019

~~It doesn't matter who you used to be; what matters is who you decide to be today.  You are not your mistakes.  You are not your mishaps.  You are not your past.  You are not your wounds.  You can decide differently today and at every moment.  Remember that.  You are offered a new opportunity with each breath to think, choose, decide and act differently in a way that supports you in being all that you are capable of being.  You are not less than.  You are enough.~~  Unknown

 

So how about just for today, you allow yourself to be.  You can forgive yourself for your perceived failures.  You can let go of that nagging thought that you're not good enough.  You can, just for today, be content with being you.

 

Today is your opportunity to think differently about yourself.  To act differently.  To decide that you are your own best friend rather than worst critic.  To choose to heal your wounds rather than allow them to fester.

 

It's a good day for you to be all you are capable of being.  Because you are not your mistakes and you are not your past.  You can decide differently just for today.  Love yourself.  Be ok with yourself.  And take that first step forward in supporting yourself in being all you are capable of.  It starts with you and let it start today.

 

It doesn't matter if you are a serial quitter.  It doesn't matter if you haven't quit yet.  It doesn't matter if you up until now you thought you would be a smoker forever.  Take that step.  Decide differently.  Today is your day.  You get to choose who to be. 

 

Sheri

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

I'm Sorry

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Mar 22, 2019

~~Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all.  Do not let the hero in your soul perish in the lonely frustration for the life you deserved but have never been able to reach.  Check your road and the nature of your battle.  The world you desire can be won.  It exists.  It is real.  It is possible.  It is yours.~~ Ayn Rand

 

I'm sorry you're struggling.  I'm sorry you're sad.  I'm sorry you have yet to reach that smoke free world you desire.  You may stumble, you may waiver, but please don't let that fire go out!!  Don't let that hero in your soul perish!!  It's in you to quit and it's in you to stay the smoke free road and it's in you to become who you were always meant to be.  I promise you it's in you.  And if you have to scrape it off layer by layer and bit by bit, we will be right here holding your hand and reminding you that you are worth it.

Recovery is real.  Living life smoke free is possible.  It exists and it's waiting for you to accept it.  In your time, in your way.  Because that is the only way to do it.  Look inward.  Understand what you're getting into when you quit.  And know that each moment you spend smoke free means you really can live a smoke free life.

You don't believe it, I know.  You have your doubts, you only know a smoking world.  It's comfortable to you even though you know that it's hurting you, too.  Addiction is like that and it's so much easier to believe the lies than face the truth.  No, my friend, smoking does not relax you.  Getting that hit of nicotine...that addictive substance into your brain...that drug....that calms the brain while killing the body.

There will come a time when your fire will once again spark and the hero in you will rise up to lead you into freedom.  Don't ignore it.  Embrace it and move into the world you truly desire.  It is real.

 

Sheri

~~When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive-to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.~~  Marcus Aurelius

 

Life is a gift, you know.  Every breath you take is a blessing.  Every heartbeat a privilege. 

It's another day that you are allowed to enjoy.  Smell the fresh air, feel the wind on your cheeks, hear the music of nature.  The world is alive and you are here, a part of it.  Able to fill your lungs, dance around, hug those you love.

You can choose how you spend your time and that, too, is a precious gift.  Because you can choose to feel the miracle that life itself is or you can choose to see life as a burden as you fight your quit, hating the freedom rather than the addiction, wanting to smoke more than wanting recovery.

Every battle you fight with your quit is in your mind.  It's not real.  You won't really 'go crazy'.  You won't really 'die without a cigarette'.  Your brain is simply running amuck, searching for the feel good substance you have fed it for so long.  It will calm down if you refuse to feed it.  It will get easier.  It will get better.  You can stop fighting your quit and surrender to it.  Whatever happens, happens.  Accept that you may feel ragged for a while.  You may have your moments of sheer weariness and stress.  But that's life and it doesn't need to mean anything other than a bad day, nothing more.

Because life's a gift.  And you...out of billions and billions of people...have been gifted with today.  It will never come again, so make today something special to remember. 

 

Sheri

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Wie Geht's?

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Mar 21, 2019

~~We do not have to pressure ourselves by insisting that we do or know something before it's time.  When it is time, we will know.  We will move into that time naturally and harmoniously.  We will have peace and consistency.  We will feel empowered in a way we do not feel today.  Deal with the panic, the urgency, the fear; do not let them control or dictate decisions.  Waiting isn't easy.  It isn't fun.  But waiting is often necessary to get what we want.  It is not deadtime; it is not downtime.  The answer will come.  The power will come.  The time will come.  And it will be right.  Today I will wait, if waiting is the action I need in order to take care of myself.  I will know that I am taking a positive, forceful action by waiting until the time is right.  God, help me let go of my fear, urgency, and panic.~~  Unknown

 

Guten Morgen, meine freunde, wie geht es Ihnen*?

Have you ever read a post here and thought, "What are they saying?"  

I did.  Often.  Sometimes it was like reading Greek.  I could read the words but felt no impact from them.  "You'll feel freedom"?  "You really don't relax by smoking"?  "Remember HALT"?  I didn't get it and I don't believe it was from the lack of intelligence.  It wasn't from a lack of desire on my part to quit.  It wasn't even I didn't understand the words.  I did.  I just didn't 'get' them.

I actually stepped away from this site.  I needed quiet time.  I needed 'me' time.  I needed to figure out what I was doing wrong and why I couldn't quit. And I did understand that no one could tell me that.  It was on me.

Please know that not everyone needs to do the same thing!  Some need support, some need information.  Some need reinforcement.  To me, the site was a good distraction from what I needed to do.  I needed to look inward. 

Because there is where everyone's quit truly is.  It's there inside you.  That moment you realize that you don't want addiction to win.  That moment you realize quitting only means not smoking ever again.  That moment you accept that you can't smoke because addiction takes away everything you love.  That 'ah-ha!' moment that changes your quit from a burden to a blessing.

The words from others may make sense or it may be Greek to you.  That's ok.  Your quit is there inside you regardless of what you read about from others.  There is an ease to quitting when it comes from within that may not be there when you look for answers from others.  Only because you won't find your quit in our words, we can only offer what we know.  Your quit is in you.

So this may sound like Greek to you but relax.  Let go of the fear, the panic.  Your quit is there, waiting for you.  And yes, you may struggle with it but it is yours to have in your time in your way.  We so badly want to help get you there but we know that it is yours because we found ours that same way....within us.  And now we know that "Guten Morgen, meine freunde, wie geht es Ihnen" simply means "good morning, my friends, how are you?"  

 

I hope you understand

 

Sheri

 

* Please know that any mistakes in spelling or translations is mine alone.  My German is very rusty

~~When is the last time you did something for the first time?~~ John C Maxwell

 

Since you are quitting smoking, now is a good time to plan some distractions for yourself.  Remember, the busier you are, the less likely you will dwell on relapsing.  So when is the last time you did something for the first time?  Do you remember trying to ride a bike for the first time?  Taking your first college class?  Jumping off the high dive at the community pool?

As adults, we tend to settle into routine.  Work, home, dinner, TV, bed, right?  And sometimes we get in an early morning run or a quick dash to the grocery store.  But somewhere in between our childhood and grownhood, we lost the ability to take action on our dreams.  Because real life sweeps us along and we get caught up in the 'have to' rather than the 'want to'.

You ever wanted to learn to ride a horse?  Take ballroom dance lessons?  Scale a wall?  Learn German?  What about plan that garden in the back yard?  Train for a 5k?  Learn to scuba dive?

Life is filled with fun!  With opportunities!  With discoveries!  Why not explore a bit while you can.  I got my first and only tattoo when I quit smoking.  It's a little Gemini symbol (very pretty) on my ankle.  That's a first for me.  I learned to dance after I quit.  Another first.  I spoke to a room filled with people about substance abuse and pregnancy.  Yikes!  A very scary and shaky first  

Lately I dropped trying new things.  This past year has been quite a challenge.  But life is short and I want to be able to tell God that I truly enjoyed His gift of life to me so I'm sitting down today and making an updated list of things I want to try. 

You may not be the kind of person who likes new things.  That's ok.  But what about doing the things you know you like?  Are you a traveler?  Do you love camping?  Are you an artist?  Being creative is a great coping skill to have while you are in the early days of your quit.  Doing things you love can keep you busy in such a good, healthy way!

It doesn't take money to try new things...although by quitting you will have more money to play with.  It doesn't take any particular set of skills.  All you need is a curious mind and a willingness to try  

 

Enjoy your quit!!

Sheri

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

I've Learned

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Mar 19, 2019

~~I've learned that things don't always turn out the way you planned, or the way you think they should.  And I've learned that there are things that go wrong that don't always get fixed or get put back together the way they were before.  I've learned that some broken things stay broken, and I've learned that you can get through bad times and keep looking for better ones as long as you have people who love you.~~  Jennifer Weiner

 

This is hard for me, being here right now.  It's easier for me to encourage others than it is to come here and bare part of my soul.  But I think those who know me here deserve an explanation.  My comings and goings rather than just toughing it out like the rest of the elders.  Dedicated and true to the mission of this site.

 

Let me share a little bit of who I am.  I have dedicated a great deal of my adult life to helping families in need.  From economic hardships to sexual abuse.....from abandonment to deliberate burns....I am there for the families.  And I got very good at working with families.  They trusted me, they leaned on me, and shared their secret shames and buried traumas.  Then things suddenly turned deadly and I began working with families who children had been beaten to death...or committed suicide at the tender age of 8....or been so terribly neglected they couldn't walk, talk, or eat solid foods at the age of 3.  I reached my limit.  Couldn't do it anymore.  Often spent my time crying over these poor babies.  So slowly I am changing how I work with families.  I needed to for my own piece of mind.  Still there and still will listen when they need to talk but I am offering more positive services and healthy choices.

 

Here on Ex, I listen.  I offer support and encouragement.  And I hear the stories of health issues.....broken relationships...heart wrenching loneliness.  Believe me, I understand!! And I listen.  I pray.   But there comes a point when reading that someone smokes because they get bad news at the doctor's office....I break for them.  How devastatingly sad that they can't stop being their worst enemy.  That they feel so destroyed by the diagnosis that they immediately turn to the addiction that possibly assisted in giving them the diagnosis.  I understand addiction and I get why they do what they do....but still I spend time crying over these lost souls.

 

Since I feel so much and am a somewhat impulsive person, I choose to let go rather than just 'take a break'.  Of course it doesn't work because here I am once again, but the sorrow and frustration and weariness I feel over this stupid, stupid thing called addiction....and all the damage it does..... can sometimes knock me to my  knees and I react poorly.  Recognizing that is the first step in correcting it, I know.

 

I'm here because of pir8fan and Strudel and indingrl.01.06.2011 and Youngatheart.7.4.12 and Daniela-3-11-2016 and Thomas3.20.2010 and all of those who have shared their quits here.  I'm here because Giulia and jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 and all those who have helped me quit.  And I'm here because of Marilyn.H.July.14.14. and BonnieBee.quit.2.8.15 and OldBones-Larry and all the other exers who offer hope, share their struggles, and stay because they're needed.  

 

Ok, so I am not the best sharer out there and I'm feeling a little out of my element.  But I wanted to let you know why I sometimes do the things I do and I hope you will understand me better.  May we all enjoy the here and now and not worry so much about tomorrow....it will take care of itself.

 

Sheri

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Greater Things

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Mar 19, 2019

~~There are going to be days when giving up will seem oh so attractive and easy and perhaps no one will be there to save you but find that inner strength in yourself to get through today and tomorrow because this pain isn't permanent and you are worthy and deserving of such greater things.~~ e.g.

 

This pain isn't permanent.  I promise.  This anxiety you feel...the nervousness...the heightened sense of doom.  All the things you feel when you first quit smoking.  Your emotions are all over the place. At first.  You feel unable to function at your normal level.  At first.

If you cling to this pain, it will gain force. It can so easily snowball into 'just one' so that you feel better.  And then, rather than remembering all the reasons you quit, you will remember that feeling you get when you smoke.  That feeding your addiction.  Addiction wins when you give it power.

You may not quite understand that there are so much greater things in store for you after your quit.  You may not be able to picture your family getting closer to you or your heightened sense of confidence or even your ability to do so much more with the time you gain from quitting, but it's all there.  Waiting for you.  Keep your eyes and your ears and your heart on all you will be gaining each moment you don't choose to smoke.  Build the positive vibes rather than cling to the lies of addiction.

And, please, trust us.  Trust that we have your best interest at heart and trust that we have been in that exact spot you're in right now.  We know the feelings and we know the struggles and we understand all that you're going through in your quit.  Sure, you may have different triggers and different life experiences but addiction is universal.  There is no reason to smoke, good or bad.  And we know that, too.

Settle in for the most rewarding journey of your life!!  There is nothing easy about it but then again, life isn't easy either and we manage to make it work for us   I'm glad you're here, I'm happy you have chosen to quit smoking, and I know you won't regret it.  You are worthy and deserving of such greater things!!

 

Sheri

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

The Awakening

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Mar 18, 2019

~~Take all the time you need, Sweet Soul, because we don't get anywhere quicker by rushing the process of our healing, of our self-loving, of our freedom.  We get nowhere meaningful in haste.  So ignore the noisy beeping of the world around you, the shoving, the busying, the stressing.  Take all the time you need to gather your thoughts, to have time to exhale and process your feelings because knowing yourself, feeling yourself, that is truly the most important thing.  And just keep being you.  Keep on the journey of being more and more you because it's beautiful.  Because you're just beautiful.  Every inch of you awakening to you is just beautiful.~~  S.C. Lourie

 

Jake and I had to go to Panama City today (Southport to be exact) to get his trombone repaired.  We hadn't been down Hwy 77 since before the hurricane and I was prepared to see a difference.  I was unprepared, however, to see areas of Southport that looked as if the hurricane had hit a week ago instead of 5 months ago.  Buildings and homes destroyed and still sitting there abandoned, fallen, broken.  Most of the tree line gone.  Piles of debris stacked 10 feet tall.  I made a comment to that effect to the business owner taking Jake's trombone.  He simply nodded and said that healing from the hurricane would take time.  The rest of America may have forgotten and assumed that Panama City was back to normal, but it is a new normal.  This man lost his place of business so is now working out of the back of his home.  People are living in travel trailers and even tents while they send their kids to school and go to work.  If you can't find your favorite lunch spot anymore, you simply find a new favorite spot and continue on.  The people of Panama City make it all work.

 

Welcome to the world of healing, dear quitters.  Each and everyone one of us has been through our own hurricane of sorts.  Quitting can beat us down, hold us back, and totally exhaust us.  Sooner or later, we need to heal.  To slow down and recognize what smoking AND quitting have done to us.  Take all the time you need to feel out your new world.  Feel out the new you.  All that you that was buried beneath your need to smoke.  Have patience and know that not only is your body healing, but so is your world.  Everything you used to do revolved around your addiction.  Now you're flying solo and it can be unsettling.  What do you do now when something upsets you?  What do you do when your bored?  Celebrating?  Feel yourself out and allow yourself the time you need to figure things out. Gather all your broken parts and piece yourself together as you heal until you are your new normal.  Different yet better.  Fragile yet whole.

 

Hurricanes are damaging but the human spirit cannot be held down forever.  I witnessed that today and I lived through it myself with my own quit.  We will survive.

 

Blessings to you and yours  

 

Sheri

~~I wish sometimes that you can see yourselves through my eyes.  Then you could see how beautiful and wonderful you really are.  The language of friendship is not words but feelings.~~LCA

 

My friends here are struggling.  Some with health issues, some with mental health concerns, a few with their quits.  And the magnificent group of exers are here to support, thank goodness!  No one should ever feel like they are going through life's trials and tribulations alone.  Because let's face it, we have all at one time or another had similar struggles.  We know and by knowing can offer that kind of empathetic support where others feel understood.

 

I need to start out by saying that quitting smoking isn't a magical cure to life long success.  It doesn't bring you everlasting happiness, universal health, or unyielding strength.  Life is going to bite you in one way or another some time in your lifetime.  That's just how it goes.  But quitting will give you BETTER health than if you were still smoking.  Quitting will give you a clearer mind than when you were smoking.  Quitting will give you a sense that you can get through tough times.  Quitting will give you the freedom to address those things in your life that need your FULL attention.  Quitting will give you the time you need during your day to do those things you need to do, want to do, and enjoy doing.  And, of course, quitting will give you the money you deserve to have for pampering yourself, paying off bills, or taking that long dreamed of vacation.

 

I am totally loving that these same friends with issues and problems are still here, sharing their stories in order to help the next in line.  It's not easy to hear 'cancer' or 'hospitalization' or any other of the words that say we aren't well.  But to take those fears, that diagnosis, those devastating facts and to bring them here to us so we are informed is beyond humbling (in my opinion).  Simply so we get that test done or we make that appointment or we realize that symptom.  Their generosity and selflessness is just stunning.  You have my undying gratitude and utmost respect.

 

Now, for those struggling with their quits.  I hear you.  I hear you say it's hard, it's a daily battle, and it's exhausting.  May I also add that......despite all that, you are doing it.  No one is forcing you to quit.  Please understand what I mean by that because I'm not being mean.  YOU decided to brave your quit, YOU are holding on to it, YOU are making it work.  Look at you!!  You are amazing!!  We may support you but YOU, my dear friend, are the one who is owning your quit.  No one can force you to quit and no one can give you permission to smoke.  It's all on you.  But that shouldn't be a burden, it should be a gift.  I think that those who succeed in quitting understand that difference.  Remember that each day without smoking means you are being strong, even when you don't actually feel that strong.  Give yourself credit for holding on even when you want to let go.

 

Finally, to that one friend who went back to smoking.  No, you aren't a failure.  No, you aren't a loser.  You are simply slowly understanding the power of addiction.  While we say it's all in the mind, the mind itself is a force beyond what we normally think about in our daily, routine filled lives.  So that power can take us off guard when we quit smoking.  Wow!!  Our brains frantically go into overdrive trying to get that substance back....."Anxious!!  Need to smoke!!"  "Stressed, can't get over it without smoking!!"  "Omg, I'm going to go crazy without a cigarette!!"  Please understand that going back to smoking doesn't mean you failed, it means you are addicted.  Learn from it, learn about it.  You can quit with commitment, knowledge, and support.  But you have to do it at your time in your own way.  I'll be here for you.

 

Ok, I think I covered everything I needed to say.  So much for retirement, huh?!  But I love you guys and want you to know how beautiful I think you all are.  Thank you for being here, thank you for sharing, and thank you for touching my life in the most remarkable way.

 

Sheri