I Hurt Too

Blog Post created by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 on Aug 17, 2018

~~A heart that hurts is a heart that works.~~  Unknown


This is what I do when I am hurting.  I write it all out.  From beginning to end I work out my emotions through words.  And the last two days of work have been disheartening, frustrating, heartbreaking, draining.  All secondary, of course, except for a parent who is fighting me tooth and nail.  I have cried with parents, consoled caregivers, encouraged case workers, explained to my boss.  I have held screaming children, rubbed the back of one vomiting, sympathized with a heartbroken teen, and assisted a comp assessor.

All in two days.  I run this center by myself.  I have no volunteers yet and no coworkers except for a girl who is supposed to come on Thursdays and she does about once a month.  

I never once in the past two days thought of smoking.  Not because I'm 'better' than anyone who does.  Obviously not!!  But I've replaced that go-to over 5 years ago.  So now?  I write it all out.  I reach out to my grown children.  I do yoga.  I deep breath A LOT.  I drink water.  I sit out in nature.  I turn to things I love...automatically and without fail.

My heart still hurts right now.  It's supposed to.  That's what happens when situations occur like those here.  Hurting is normal!!  It should be felt.  It should be acknowledged.  It should be respected.  Live it.  

And then, when it's eased, you can nod and tell yourself you got through it once more.

A heart that hurts really is a heart that works.  I'm thankful that I am how I am.  I care about people.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  But it doesn't mean that I don't hurt, cry, feel, or crumble.  I do.

But I don't smoke.  

It takes 21 days to develop a habit, whether good or bad.  Start developing your habits to replace smoking.  Because you don't do that anymore