I Was Tired

Blog Post created by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 on Jul 13, 2018

~~If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up.~~  Unknown


These words helped me five years ago.  I was tired.  I was tired of feeling like a failure.  I was tired of smoking, tired of quitting, tired of cycling in between highs and lows.  I was tired of being controlled by my addiction.  I was just tired.


My family, my friends, my co-workers all tiptoed around me because they so knew I could quit while knowing I didn't want to.  They couldn't tell me that because I would have denied, denied, denied!!  Part of the addict in me, I now know.


So I was tired.  I was isolated.  I was miserable.


I had to stop giving up.  Quitting meant never having another cigarette NO MATTER WHAT.  Craving?  No cigarette.  Anxiety?  No cigarette.  Stress?  No cigarette.  World blown to bits?  No cigarette.  Never again no matter what.  


At that moment of realization, I knew that I would rather have life take me than ever smoke again.  Not because I was suddenly 'cured'.  Not because I magically broke the addiction.  But because I was tired of starting over.  My decision to quit meant that even it my quit was messy, dirty, ugly, agonizing....I would surrender to the agony instead of smoking.


I stopped giving up on myself.  And that made all the difference.  May you know the power and the joy and the freedom of not giving up on yourself as well.  I wish you for the very best life has to offer