~~In life we do things. Some we wish we had never done. Some we wish we could replay a million times in our heads. But they all make us who we are, and in the end they shape every detail about us. If we were to reverse any of them we wouldn't be the person we are. So just live, make mistakes, have wonderful memories. But never, ever second guess who you are, where you have been, and most importantly where it is you're going.~~ Unknown
After a particularily bad day, regardless of the reason(s) why, I hurt inside. There was a time when a cigarette would make me forget the pain..the hurts, the anger, the whatevers.
So I get it. I get it. You don't want to feel stress, to feel anger, to feel pain when you are so very used to not having to feel anything.
But do you get it? Cigarettes didn't take away the stress or the emotions. You simply got your 'fix'. You fed your addiction. Until the next time, anyway. And there is always a next time with addiction.
So I hurt today. It was a crushing, heartbreaking day. And I welcome that. Because it's part of life and I am truly living. Not getting a fix. Not feeding an addiction. I am living.
I am simply being human, dealing with all that comes with the honor. And sometimes I just have to sit and wait for time to pass for my emotions to heal. And sometimes I do something fun to take my mind off of things. And sometimes I cry. But I feel.....and for that I am eternally grateful. I have emotions....and I am living my life rather than watching it pass me by.
I get it. But I hope you do as well.
