Skip navigation
All People > Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 > Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Blog > 2016 > December
2016

~~Your light is seen, your heart is known, your soul is cherished by more people than you might imagine.  If you knew how many others have been touched in wonderful ways by you, you would be astonished.  If you knew how many people feel so much for you, you would be shocked  You are far more wonderful than you think you are.  Rest with that.  Rest easy with that.  Breathe again.  You are doing fine.  More than fine.  Better than fine.  You're doing great.  So relax.  And love yourself today.~~ Neale Donald Walsch

Myabe tonight should be the time to thank those here who help you on your journey.  Maybe it's time to let others know how you feel.  Maybe it's time those special people actually get to hear that they are special.

Not because I want to "single out".....not because some here are better than others....not even because some pour their heart and soul into this site.

But because it's the right thing to do, even if I do it alone.  Because people should hear how good they are while they are here rather than praising them after they are gone.  Because we need to move past our own needs to look at others and say simply "thank you for shining your light here".

Giulia was the first so many years to speak to me here on Ex....thank you.

Rick was steady, dependable, funny, and we are friends still today...thanks, Superman.

Thomas who seems to spread his joy everywhere and to everyone....thanks, my friend.

Dale who can make anyone smile no matter how bad they are feeling and who is always catching us before we fall....thank you.

Sootie and Kathy and Teresa who are loyal, calm, and reflect everything good about this site...thank you.

BeeJay...omgosh, there aren't words, dear friend!!  Thanks doesn't do it.  My quit is definitely your fault :)

Tommy....love you to the moon and back, of course.  Thank you for never giving up.

Some of you I met later but the impact is still there.  Shawn, Wendy, Marilyn, Terrie, Terry, Jacqui....brilliance here on Ex.  Jackie, I think we are kindred spirits but I still am in awe of your talents.  Diane Joy, your faith inspires us all.  Mike and Mike, you never waiver in your support of quitters.  I'm sure I forgot some of the creative souls here who keep our quits fresh and alive.  I don't mean to but I'm older than I was and it's been a long, exhausting month.  I apologize in advance for those I didn't name...doesn't mean you aren't in my heart.  

Thank those who mean something to you.  Thank those who don't give up on you.  Thank those who bring joy to your soul and light to your life.  Feel free to thank them before the moment passes and you leave things unsaid. 

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

In Case

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Dec 23, 2016

~~In case you forgot to remind yourself this moring, your butt is perfect.  Your smile lights up the room.  Your mind is insanely cool.  You are way more than enough.  And you are doing an amazing job at life.~~  Unknown

Good morning!!  Just in case you forgot to remind yourself, you've got this!!  You can handle it.  You can let it go.  You can release it and you can enjoy it!!

I hope you all have a remarkable, extraordinary day!!  May you also have a Merry Christmas!!  Be kind to yourself as well as others and enjoy yourself...you'll be glad you did :)

Hugs to all!

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Being Human

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Dec 22, 2016

~~In life we do things.  Some we wish we had never done.  Some we wish we could replay a million times in our heads.  But they all make us who we are, and in the end they shape every detail about us.  If we were to reverse any of them we wouldn't be  the person we are.  So just live, make mistakes, have wonderful memories.  But never, ever second guess who you are, where you have been, and most  importantly where it is you're going.~~  Unknown

After a particularily bad day, regardless of the reason(s) why, I hurt inside.  There was a time when a cigarette would make me forget the pain..the hurts, the anger, the whatevers.  

So I get it.  I get it.  You don't want to feel stress, to feel anger, to feel pain when you are so very used to not having to feel anything. 

But do you get it?  Cigarettes didn't take away the stress or the emotions.  You simply got your 'fix'.  You fed your addiction.  Until the next time, anyway.  And there is always a next time with addiction.

So I hurt today.  It was a crushing, heartbreaking day.  And I welcome that.  Because it's part of life and I am truly living.  Not getting a fix.  Not feeding an addiction.  I am living. 

I am simply being human, dealing with all that comes with the honor.  And sometimes I just have to sit and wait for time to pass for my emotions to heal.  And sometimes I do something fun to take my mind off of things. And sometimes I cry.  But I feel.....and for that I am eternally grateful.  I have emotions....and I am living my life rather than watching it pass me by.

I get it.  But I hope you do as well.

Believe it or not, I am NOT just a fluffy, sugary ray of blinding sunshine. (Kidding, all!!)  I am also realistic, sharp, and direct.  (Not kidding, all!)

Why does it matter?  I usually come here and offer glimpses of what you can do for yourself.  Quitting brings joy, confidence, and many other positives that you are only seeing glimmers of as a smoker.  The colors, the aromas, the tastes that the world has to offer is overwhelming to someone who used to see, smell, and taste everything through a haze of smoke and chemicals.

Can I be more direct?  Sure.  Can I be realistic? Sure. 

You are either going to quit smoking or you're not.  It's really that simple.  When you quit, you are going to leave all the excuses behind.  You are going to stop blaming and fault finding and stressing yourself into smoking again.  You are going to stop romancing the "losing my best friend" stuff and you are going to stop whining that no one understands what you are going through.

You will quit.

You will start looking at all you have to gain rather than what you have to lose.  You are going to start new habits and find new coping skills when life gets tough.  You are going to come here and say "help" rather than slink off and smoke.  You are going to know that nothing....NOTHING...will make you smoke although you have no clue what else to do. 

Bottom line is that it is all on you.  Your choice.  Your decision.  Your life.  So decide and honor your decision. 

Ok...so it is a bit hard for me not to be a little fluffy.  Not to remind you that you deserve so much more than being labelled 'a smoker'.  And life is so much more than that next puff.  But I'll stop fluffing and simply say that if you are going to quit, you will not ever find a reason to smoke.  Because there are none.

I can say all this because I was you...the whiney, excuse ridden smoker who couldn't see putting them down for good....until I did.  So I know.  I know.  And others know, too.  You are not alone.

~~One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living.  We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizen instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.~~  Dale Carnegie

Kinda true about smokers, don't you think?  We can only live up to a certain point, then we have to stop living while we have that one more.  We can't live too much or we won't be able to find the "smoking area" or the time to have a quick one or the money to buy one more carton.

I know I didn't really start living until I quit smoking.  Even then, it took effort to live.  Because my mind was still searching for that hit of nicotine.  I slept quite a bit during the intitial stages.  And then I ate quite a bit even longer. 

It took effort to see the bright things.  It took effort to enjoy a walk.  It took effort to find fun in yoga.  It took effort to laugh freely.  Everything took effort.  I think mainly because smoking saps the energy and poisons the body......and my body had been poisoned for years.

So I took time out to allow my body as well as my mind to heal.  I learned patience.  I learned calm.  And I learned that I was ok with so much learning :) 

Over 3 1/2 years later, I am truly, honestly, delightfully living.  My health is better.  My weight (for those who worry) is better.  My enjoyment of life is....well, I am so grateful and so happy I quit smoking to be able to create a life I love.  I'm blessed.

You are blessed as well.  You found this site.  You have information at your fingertips.  You have support and encouragement and wisdom all in one site.  Even more....you have you.  Be your own hero......be your own best friend....be who you were truly meant to be.  Not a smoker.  Not an addict.  Not a bystander of life.  Throw off the shackles and live freely!!  Create, explore, discover life as if you were seeing it for the first time.  The smoke has cleared and the chains broken.  It's your time to live.  Be grateful and be blessed to have the chance to see what life is like without your addiction dictating your every move.

I can't say that Mr. Carnegie is right.  Some of us do truly live.  Some of us to love life.  Some of us do enjoy the roses blooming by our windows.  We see clearly that life is a gift. 

~~She decided to see how her life would change if she dropped the assumption she needed fixing.~~  Unknown

Hmm....what about you?  As you quit smoking, do you find yourself feeling like you need someone to show you the way?  Do you think you need the magic formula for happiness?  What about a miracle to make your quit less....agonizing?

What if, instead, you begin to think that you are exactly where you need to be.  What if you begin to believe that craving a cigarette after you quit is simply left over memories of smoking which will fade in time?  What if you begin to imagine yourself healthier....happier....richer....?

Trust me, you don't need to be fixed.  Your precious, extraordinary quit is happening exactly as it should be happening.  As you move forward without cigarettes, your mind is simply trying to keep you in the 10 or 20 or 40 year routine that you have lived until now.  Simply...gently...give yourself time to heal, kindness to ease your path, and love to nourish your new journey.

Release the assumption that you can't do it.  Let go of the beliefs that you need a cigarette.  Drop the thoughts that keep you tied to your addiction.  Begin creating health.  Begin developing new routines.  Begin to believe that you deserve a life of joy and beauty and hope and freedom.  Because you do.

It's all in your mind, so believe you can.

~~If you can honor the story that got you to today, if you can honor the strength you showed in keeping to the trail, if you can pay homage to the tragedies that revealed how deep and loving you really are, if you can look back and see the beauty of your soul growing throughout all the difficult moments when it felt you were locked in an invisible  prison, a beautiful life you will feel all around you now, the sacredness of your breath, the fact that you have so much behind you because you kept on going.  Tell me your story without your head hanging in shame.   Tell me your story with your head held high.  Because you became the hero you needed.  Nobody else.  You got yourself to today.  For that alone, you should be so proud.~~  SC Lourie

Somehow I think this says it all and I shouldn't even add to it.  But I will....just a bit.  You got yourself to today.  You brought yourself to this site.  I hope you understand that it is within your power to quit smoking.  For good. 

And during the early days of your precious quit, I hope you understand how very vital it is to treat yourself with the same loving care you would treat a loved one...a friend....your fur baby....as your body detoxs and begins to heal itself. 

Don't overthink it.  Don't talk yourself out of it.  Hang in there and hang tough.  All you have to do it to get through it a moment at a time. 

You became the hero you needed.  And you are here today.  Be so very proud of yourself.  And maybe....just maybe....you will tell us your story with your head held high.

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

I Am Quieted

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Dec 14, 2016

~~How strangely do we diminish a thing as we try to express it in words.~~   Maurice Maeterlinck 

I am a talker.  I love words, I love expressing myself, and I love trying to assist others in expressing themselves as well.

But then I came across this quote.  It quieted me.  I have so many of those moments….the ones you keep to yourself because there simply aren’t words to express it.

I love that smokers come here and find the courage to write a blog about their experiences.  To post their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.  That takes courage to share parts of the self that may be rejected, ridiculed, or dismissed.  As their quit journey is filled with unexpected dips, twists, and turns, so do their posts reflect their joys, triumphs, and stumbles.

But so many quitters don’t share.  So many quitters don’t express.  So many quitters never explain.

And that, too, takes courage.  To live those moments of fear, uncertainty, or hesitation without voicing it.  To experience those moments of sheer pleasure, breathtaking joy, or stunning delight without sharing it because sharing would somehow diminish the event or the emotions.  Thesequitters possess poise and a sense of self that carries them through life with strength and grace.

We are uniquely who we are.  Our journeys are individual, yet our lives intertwine.  All I can say is be who you are and don’t feel as if you must be a certain way or do a certain thing as you maneuver through your quit .  Just live the way you are meant to live and know that there is someone in the world who understands that.  I applaud you.  Quit your way. 

 I like trying new things.  Taking a 1000 mile challenge, learning how to paint a picture, speaking in front of 75 people.....new to me means being able to step outside my comfort zone and grabbing life.  To me there is nothing like feeling like I am really living.

No quote for me here today, not even in my head.  So this is new as well as I try to write a post without inspiration myself.

I am 55 miles away from meeting my 1000 mile challenge.  Walking intentional miles and I have completed 945 of them.  Super excited to meet that goal by the end of the year.  Next year I am looking at signing up for a kindness challenge as well.  And becoming a certified yoga instructor.

I left worrying about my quit behind me.....over 1270 days ago.  Because I had a plan.  I had ways of distracting myself when cravings hit.  I had ways of being excited about upcoming events and situations and adventures to take the sting out of not smoking. 

And I found, to my great delight, that it worked for me.  I never focused on how miserable I was because....I wasn't all that miserable.  Pangs here and there, of course, but nothing that wasn't overshadowed by the excitement of meeting my goals or the thrill of learning something new.  The more I added to my life, the less I missed what I took away from it. 

So when I read about quitters asking when the cravings are going to end, I wonder what they are doing to end them.  Do you have distractions?  Do you have your own coping skills?  Do you get excited over upcoming events or trying something new or developing your talents?  Do you step outside that old familiar comfort zone that geared everything you did around your addiction?  Because that will certainly help!  Get rid of those dusty routines...those tried and true methods which keep your addiction alive and kicking.....and create a life for yourself that brings in all you love.  Talents, perhaps, hobbies, friends, career goals....whatever brings a song to your soul.  Do those things with a passion and do them with joy.

Cravings are supposed to happen.  It means that you are breaking the cycle of addiction.  It does not mean you are supposed to smoke....it means you are supposed to celebrate the freedom.  Well, just my opinion, of course....and it worked for me. 

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Decide

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Dec 9, 2016

~~Decide once and for all to have an extraordinary life.~~  Unknown

You can't do that by smoking.  There is the guilt of doing something you know your family and friends wish you would stop.  There is the sense of isolation from loved ones.  There is the stolen time from those who long for your presence.  There is sadness, maybe, and confusion because you can't seem to quit.

So many negative, hurtful emotions on a habit that you won't let go of.  I say "won't" instead of "can't" because it's true.  If I can quit and she can quit and they can quit and the crowd can quit, so can you.  You won't when you decide that you can't.  You won't when you think that it's impossible for you.  You won't when you allow yourself to feel helpless and stay there.

But you can.  You can decide that you won't smoke.  You can decide that you are worth it.  You can decide that you will be dam*ed if you will let nicotine get the best of you.  You can decide that nothing will make you smoke again.  You can.

And I hope you will.  I hope you will find it within you to do what is best for your body and your mind and your life.  I hope you will love yourself enough.  I hope you will realize that there will never be another you and the world needs you here....healthy, strong, and in control of what you put into your body.

Have an extraordinary life, my friend.  Free of addiction.  You deserve it.

~~If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit.~~ Banksy

Sometimes early into your quit, you grow weary of fighting the cravings.  You get tired of trying to ignore your stress, maintain your peace, and reminding yourself that everything is ok.  You want to give up.....and so you do.  You quit on your quit.  You quit on yourself.  You decide that you can't.

What would have happened if instead of quitting, you simply rested?  Sometimes that means sleeping and how wonderful that is....sleep is the best time for your body to heal, you know.  Sometimes, though, it means letting go of the fight and simply walking away from the thoughts of smoking and stressing and battling.

Walking in nature.  Feel the cool air on your cheeks and hear the sounds of nature....happy birds chirping their songs, chattering squirrels arguing over nuts, and the rustle of leaves.  Enjoy it.  Quiet your mind and allow nature to soothe you, to calm you, to relax you.

Or have coffee with a friend.  Listen to her laugh.  Enjoy her stories.  Allow your time with her to be about friendship, closeness, making memories.  Quiet your mind and allow friendship to warm you, to calm you, to relax you.

Learn to rest.  Paint and allow your whole body and mind to focus on your painting.  Turn on your favorite tunes and listen to the music.  Create beauty.  Volunteer your time.  Share.  Dance. 

Rest is not just closing your eyes.  It can be shutting off your stressful thoughts.  It can be learning how to tune out negativity.  All those things that "make you" want to smoke.  Resting means....letting them go.

Of course, those pesky thoughts will return now and then.  Sometimes a passing thought...other times strongly slamming into your day with the power of a hurricane.  Knowing this....really knowing it....means you can be prepared to rest when you have to.  Turn off those thoughts with something that calms you. 

Because you have the power to do that.  To turn those thoughts off for a while.  To soothe yourself.  To relax.  To breath.  To let the world in.  To shut your mind off. 

Don't quit.  Learn to rest.  You deserve it :)

I quit smoking 3 1/2 years ago.  I came back here to ex three months after that.  Partly because of a friend of mine, partly because I wanted those I knew here to know that I had finally gotten it, and partly because, since I got it, I wanted to pass it on to others.

I wanted quitters to feel supported.  To feel they mattered.  To give back to a world that had given me so much.

I wanted to share messages of hope.  A little positivity.  Maybe some humor.  I like to laugh.  I like to dance.  I like life.

But this site is so much more than just me.  The personalities on this site range from the shy to the outspoken to the pompous to the truly wise. 

Everyone has a place here, because we are all quitters.  Whether we have quit or we want to quit or we have just begun the journey....we all have a place here.  And while we may struggle to find that place, the fact of the matter is that not everyone is going to get along.  Not everyone will like us.  Not everyone will understand us.  But that doesn't lessen our place here.

And I hope that we can all tolerate each other.  Because we all have a place here.  If you don't like someone, don't respond to their posts. If you don't understand where someone is coming from, ask rather than assume.  If you disagree with someone, allow them their opinions and write your own post about your position rather than argue on their post.

Because we all have a place here.  And everyone....kind, mean, heartbroken, lost, lovely, wise....deserves the right to express themselves here.

This is not a post response to anyone else's blog.  This is not a "someone was mean to me" blog.  This is not a jab at anyone on this site.  Because I truly believe that everyone has a place here.  And I don't judge.  And I don't point out what I believe to be flaws in others.  And your opinions of me are none of my business.

So this post is simply a way of explaining how very much I want everyone here to quit smoking.  Regardless of whether you like me....or anyone else.  Regardless of whether you quit using NRTs or hypnosis or cold turkey.  Regardless of whether or not you are nice or mean or sweet or loveable.

You have a place here.  Use it to quit smoking.  Explore your options.  Vent (we ALL do it).  And quit.  Please.  Before it's too late.  Before you don't have a choice.  Before you say "I wish I had...."

You have a place here and I respect that.  Use it well.