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2016
Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

The Power

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Oct 29, 2016

~~Open your heart to the power that is you.~~  Unknown

I knew someone who tried to quit smoking forever.  She was a good person but felt that life was against her.  And it could be harsh, I admit.  Her husband hit her, she was left with three little children to raise alone, she rose to challenges only to be beaten down by life's brutalities.  Her family was extremely negative, she never learned to stand on her own two feet, and when she taught herself how, life would throw her another curve.  So she quit, smoked, quit, smoked, and quit again....only to smoke again.

Once she quit for about 18 months.  She was doing well, she thought, only to pick them up once again after a brutal attack left her bruised, broken, and back at square one.

No one would fault her for her feelings.  She was a victim over and over again.  Domestic violence, rape, black sheep of the family, severe medical issues....the list, her list, went on and on.

One day she looked at the cigarette in her hand and had had enough.  She talked to her true friends...those who supported her through everything.  And she really listened to what they had to say.  About her.  That she was more than her problems.  That she had choices no matter what life threw at her.  That she was brilliant, kind, smart, and deserved so much more than what she allowed herself to have.

A warrior was born that day.  She challenged life...she challenged those who would keep her down...she challenged herself.  She dared her addiction to do it's worst as she put them down forever, knowing--deep in her heart knowing---she was done with smoking.  She was done thinking she didn't deserve better.  She was done thinking she was a victim.

So she is no longer a victim.  No longer smoking.  No more negativity driving her life.  She is in the driver's seat and is doing beautifully.  Her life is full of joy and gladness and appreciation and wonder. 

I am not at all ashamed to say she is me.  1243 days without smoking and without once allwoing life to get the best of me.  I can get through anything and yes, life continues to challenge me at times.  But no victim here.  I have opened my heart to the power that is me....and I like it :)

You can quit.  I know it.  All you have to do is know it as well.

~~You have this one life.  How do you want to spend it?  Apologizing?  Regretting?  Questioning?  Hating yourself?  Dieting?  Running after people who don't see you?  Be brave.  Believe in yourself.  Do what feels good.  Take risks.  You have this one life.  Make yourself proud.~~  butterfliesandpebbles

Sometimes I think quitting smoking is different for everyone.  My sister simply quit.  By herself.  No aides, no support, no encouragement.  She just quit after smoking her whole adult life.  Others are matter-of-fact quitters.  Some are researchers-before-the quit quitters.  Some wade in only to run back to the familiar.

For me, I was able to truly find my forever quit by putting my heart into it.  I do my important things with passion.  So with my quit, I went all out.  Changed my life, changed my world, let go of much that held me back, and added all the things I found I loved.  It wasn't a punishment for an addiction, it was a joy.  It wasn't a chore to quit, it was a delight.  I closed the smoking door but opened up a world I had only thought about.  One filled with emotions, colors, talents, and love.  So rather than looking back at all I'd lost by smoking, I had so many things to look forward to each day.  I loved my quit.  I loved the life I had created for me.

Everyone is different.  Some find my way kind of.....goofy and too loud.  That's ok.  Focus on you and your quit.  But truth is truth no matter how you choose to live.  You don't lose a thing by quitting except an active addiction that controls your brain, your time, and your life.  It isolates, it lies, and it ultimately kills.  Keep your eyes ahead and move towards whatever else in your life you want....a new job, a closer family, new skills, love, laughter.....anything you want can be yours.  By quitting you give yourself the time, the focus, and the finances to create your world.  Your way.

I really am proud of my life now.  No regrets.  Much forgiveness for how I used to be.  Quitting smoking changed my world....I changed my world.  So can you.  If you chose to.

Love to my friends here...I've missed you.  Hope everyone is well and smiling this lovely Tuesday morning!!

Sheri

~~Life isn't supposed to be an all or nothing battle between misery and bliss.  Life isn't supposed to be a battle at all.  And when it comes to happiness, well, sometimes sometimes it's comfortable, sometimes wonderful, sometimes boring, sometimes unpleasant.  When your day's not perfect, its not a failure or a terrible loss.  It's just another day....~~  Barbara Sher

Life is what life is.  When you understand that, you'll be less likely to smoke yourself through it.  Bored?  Try doing something new.  Sad?  Have a good cry.  Stressed?  Do some yoga or jog or scream. 

Or how about just recognize it as life.  You'll get through it simply because life sweeps you along whether you're ready for it or not.  It will pass...everything does.  Boredom, stress, happiness.  Feelings can't sustain themselves forever.  Breathe and know it will pass.

I have not been feeling well lately so I won't be here much.  But so many are here.  They listen, encourage, cheer, and even play games with you so that you have no excuse to revert to smoking. 

Life is what life is.  Really, it's quite enjoyable :)  Especially without the cigarettes!!

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Believe

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Oct 14, 2016

~~Believe in yourself and all that you are.  Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.~~ Christian D Larson

I know anyone can quit smoking.  I know this because I've seen it and I've lived it.  But there was a time in my life that I wasn't so sure of myself.  I doubted my abilities.  I doubted myself.  I did not believe in me.  And I failed at my quit time and time again...reinforcing my own belief that I wasn't able to quit...I wasn't good enough to quit...I couldn't quit.

I hope none of you are as sad as that.  I hope none of you feel the way I felt.  Because it was a lie. 

And if you are thinking the way I thought, your brain is lying to you as well.  You ARE able to quit and you ARE good enough to quit and you CAN quit!!

Even more than that, you are worthy of good things in life....like living addiction free.  And your life has meaning and you matter and all the lies you once believed will fall away if only you quit smoking.  Because as the smoke clears and the nicotine no longer has the power to run your thoughts, you will know...you will believe....that there is something inside you greater than any obstacle.  And you will smile to yourself and believe that you can do anything you set your mind to.  And the relief and the satisfaction and the joy of quitting will never quite leave you because you did what you once thought was only possible for others.

So believe in yourself.  Honor yourself.  Commit to what you truly want...to live a life free of cigarettes.  I believe in you :)

~~She's got that whole purpose-driven, warrior queen, save the world type of vibe.~~  Unknown

I think I've been accused of this once or twice here :)  Not exactly true but wouldn't it be great if I could???  If you could????  If someone could?!!

But we are each responsible for our behaviors, actions, changes.  And it is up to us to learn, grow, stagnate, or revert.  And we may whine, stamp, pout, or tantrum but the fact of the matter is that change doesn't care if we're ready....change occurs and we can accept or get left behind.

You are here.  On the Ex site.  Which means you either want to quit, are interested in quitting, or need to quit.  Once you get any of these things in your head, please be warned...the only thing stopping you now is you.  You'll find information, wisdom, support, advice, encouragement, coping skills, cheer leading, applause, tough love, gentle hugs, warm people, acceptance, knowledge, links, humor, honesty, spirit, joy, laughter, loss....you'll find it all here. 

But the one thing you won't find here is your quit.  That is something that is in you alone.  And, trust me, it's there!  You may be afraid or nervous or stubborn about it but your quit is waiting for you.  To accept it.  To quit battling yourself over "I can'ts"  and "I wants" and "I shoulds".  To accept your addiction.  To accept the process of recovery.  It's going to take you out of your comfort zone and into something complete foreign to your nature.....freedom.

So no, I don't really have that "save the world" kind of vibe.  Because you can save yourself.  You are the only one who can.  But I will be here.  As will Terrie and Dale and Shawn and Thomas and Giulia and Nancy and Wendy and Jackie and a host of others.  All here to help you succeed.  All here to guide you and to support you.  But your quit?  Only you have control over that.  Your changes are happening or you wouldn't be here.  Move with them rather than fighting them and I believe you'll have an easier time.

As for this warrior queen who is 1225+ days into her own quit....I think I'll go save the world......

Peace!

~~The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is you own.  No apologies or excuses.  No one to lean on, rely on, or blame.  The gift is yours-it is an amazing journey-and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.  This is the day your life really begins.~~  Bob Moawad

I wish for you the best day of your life.  I wish that you realize how powerful you truly are and how very much you are needed.  I wish that you understand your own worth and that you decide to feel joy instead of nothing.  I wish for you strength, courage, and wisdom to live your own truths and speak with honest convictions.

I hope that you no longer feel the need to battle yourself, rather you choose to live with grace, self-love, and acceptance.  That you embrace your flaws as well as your talents because they make you who you are.  And who you are is magical and magnificent and uniquely delightful.

I hope you honor your body and give it everything it needs to survive this world.  I hope you turn away from the addictions and turn towards health of body, mind, and spirit.  I hope you push yourself enough to find adventures freeing and explore the world past your comfort zone. 

I hope you learn to enjoy moments instead of praying for a better future.  I hope you close your doors behind you and realize there are no mistakes in life, just learning opportunities and growth.  I hope you recognize those who love you rather than those who feed off you.  I hope you are hugged daily and I hope if you are not, you learn to hug yourself and love yourself with a fierce devotion that brings out the best in you.

I hope you have your best day.

~~Let today be the day you learn the grace of letting go and the power of moving on.~~  Unknown

For the past year or so, my life has moved in a lovely, flowing pattern that I created for myself and my 14 year old.  I worked hard to make a life for us that we both eanjoyed.  Then my daughter moved back in with my two grandchildren.  Love them to pieces, of course, but my lovely, flowing pattern morphed into a rocky,  uphill path with daily howls, pitfalls, and roadblocks.  Merging two households isn't easy in itself but merging personalities...age gaps...as well as responsibilities to my son as well as my grandchildren and my adult daughter was difficult for me.  Things needed to change.  I needed to change.

I needed to let go of my old....but sweet....life and move on with the new.  So I did.  I got a second job to assist with finances, I bought a new car so I didn't worry about breaking down with grandchildren waiting, and I accepted that life changes whether I was ready for those changes or not.

Quitting is kinda like that, don't you think?  You have to let go of your smoking ways....the thoughts about how it relaxed you (no, it didn't really but still I know you think it did).....the quiet times on your back porch with cigarette in hand....all the moments that you needed a cigarette.  Let them go and your quit will move on without the daily battles with yourself.  The power of moving on?  Well, your life really changes when you quit smoking, you know.  You have much more time on your hands.  You slowly start to feel better....much better.  You develop new talents and brush up on long forgotten skills.  You may decide to get healthy by eating better, being physically active. 

I guess through the changes in my own life, I want you to know that you  can not only quit smoking but you can do it with grace, with courage, and with the knowledge that in letting go you find the power to move on.  The beauty in life is to be able to see it and to feel it and to live it.  You can't do that with an addiction as it clouds your world into what it wants you to see.

My life now is again that easy flowing path of peace and contentment...because that's what I choose for me.  You can have whatever path you desire as well.  There truly is power in moving on.  May you find peace and contentment in your journey.

~~Take chances...Tell the truth...Learn to say NO,,,Spend money on the things you love...Laugh til your stomach hurts....Dance even if you are too bad at it....Pose stupidly for photos...Be child-like....Moral:  Death is not the greatest loss in life..Loss is when life dies inside you while you are alive...Celebrate this event called LIFE.~~  Unknown

Did you wake up happy today?  Excited to have this day?  Wondering what marvelous miracle was waiting for you? 

Or did you wake up thinking about smoking?  Either wanting a cigarette or wishing you could have one?  Do you view your quit as a punishment? 

Life doesn't quit no matter how we are feeling, what we are thinking, or how we are doing.  And it goes by so quickly!  Today will never come again....you can't replay yesterday or last year or 10 years ago.  We just have....now.

And now is enough.  Now I can sing or dance or hug or hop.  I can thank or forgive or laugh.  I can be the very best I've ever been or the very worst I ever was.  And the very worst I ever was was being a smoker.  Selfish, addicted, alone, and run by a little white stick of paper. 

I'm a happier person as a non-smoker.  And I wish you for to find that happy in you as well.  That peace that comes from recovery.  The joy that comes from finding the real you behind that curtain of smoke. 

You are much more beautiful than you'll ever know as a smoker.  You will shine, you will sparkle, you will feel sheer pleasure as an Ex.  And don't worry if you aren't feeling that yet.  It takes time.  Use this time to find out who you are and what you want your world to consist of.  It's a time of discovery...exploration...healing. 

It's your life....choose to live it well.