~~Be somebody who makes everybody feel like somebody.~~ Unknown
When I first found the EX site, it was Giulia who welcomed me on my message board. After my first post, I "met" more and more welcoming, friendly people who wished success for me. They held my hand, they checked on me, and they made me feel like somebody. I don't think I ever thanked them....but I'm getting to that.
I found out through staying with EX that there are many worlds within this world. Kindness, wisdom, understanding, support can all be found here as can grief, fear, stubborness, and narcissism. Some EXers exude kindness, generosity, and support. Others delete comments, ignore questions, and focus only on those who praise and agree with them.
They are all here, however, to keep their quits. To reach out to those who wish to quit. To share their stories. And it can take courage to share personal stories of addiction, loss, and shame. It takes even more courage to offer opinions that may differ from the popular opinions or to question the status quo.
We have those here who believe in "tough" love. Those who can be honest without the harshness of that "tough" love. Those who simply want others to feel welcome here.
The first time my comment was deleted from someone's post, I was confused. Attempted to talk to this individual through message board and private messages. Deleted from the message board as well. This "triggered" in me the feelings that I wasn't important or worthy of a response simply because those are the feelings I had back when I was married to a less than kind man. Back when I smoked through feeling bad to numb myself from life.
Now, of course I can recognize triggers like that now. And I can easily dismiss them as past references to a bad time in my life and let them go. But still, it's a trigger. And I'm sure that many people here are triggered through statements or words or actions of others here. And since we can't control those statements or words or actions, I hope you remember that you can control your response to them. Identify what you're feeling and then let it go.
I wish that all of us here can be somebody who makes everybody feel like somebody, but that is simply not realistic. Which is why you will here over and over again, "Take what you need and leave the rest". It works. It really does.
And now, for those of you who have made me feel like somebody....Giulia, Rickie, Thomas, Dale, Tommy, Daisy, Neen, Aztec....and all the rest, I thank you from the bottom of my heart!! You changed my life. I began to believe in myself because of you. And for those of you who today make us feel like somebody.....Marilyn, Jackie, Bonnie, Terrie, Mike, Wendy, and all the other honest, kind, amazing EXers, thank you as well. You are changing lives. You may not always hear that or see it, but I guarantee you that it's happening. Every day. Don't take what you do here lightly. It matters. And so do you.