~~Grief never ends....but it changes. It's a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, not a lack of faith....It is the price of love.~~ Unknown
So much grief, disbelief, and pain since Betty's passing. And many of us are still grieving for those in our own lives who have gone. It hurts.
It hurts and it is heartbreaking and it is one of the most intimately melancholy emotions in human existence. Someone we love is no longer here. So we grieve and we cry and we long for them and we feel loss so sharp it's almost like a physical ache.
But such is the price of love. And love has binded us together through all the days, all the moments, all the occasions shared. The laughter. The dinners. The stories. The hopes. The fears. The never ending faith that someone has our back and someone has our hand and someone shares our lives.
Grief is not something to be avoided. Grieve as you love, with your whole heart and soul. Because grief will allow you to continue loving as well. When avoided, grief can lead us to fall back on negative coping skills. Unreleased grief can cause addictions to rear their ugly heads. Unspoken grief can cause us breakdowns that can need a lifetime to heal.
I choose to honor those I have lost. Not only to remember our times together nor to simply miss them but to honor them in a way they would find amusing or touching. My stepfather has been gone 14 years and it still feels like yesterday. I have sponsored a room in his memory at the Children's Advocacy Center. He was the best dad and grandpa!! I have planted flowers for friends. I have helped fundraise for playground equipment for children who have passed.
I will not allow love to die. Love balances my grief so that all the times I had with my loved ones will stay in my heart. No addiction will cloud my memories. No nicotine will dull my love. And I will not allow smoking to ever, ever win. I've won that battle no matter what may happen due to the years I abused my body with smoking. I've won. And my dad would have been the first to say, "Good going, girl. I'm proud of you."
So grieve when you lose someone or when you have lost them even years ago. But remember the love and honor that. And never, never let addiction win. You are stronger, braver, and deserve so much more.