~~The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision.~~Neil Gaiman
Sometimes I forget that. My story, my voice, my vision. I get so caught up in the moments that I don't pay attention to how I am feeling. I even push my feelings aside to assist someone else feel better about themselves.
When I do this, it is a sudden and often harsh jolt back to reality!! I get an attitude seemingly out of nowhere. Or I feel crushed under the weight of the world. Or I just start dragging to the point I wonder where I went wrong.
But if I paid attention, I would know. So it takes me taking a little of alone time and rehashing the events of my day. Because I know myself well enough to know when I slow down and focus, I will find the root of my behaviors. My less than me behaviors.
So life has handed me a few changes that I have refused to really deal with this past week. I've buried myself in work and kids and school starting and paying bills simply so I didn't have to deal with the root of my behaviors.
But not once did I think of smoking. Not once did the ugly addiction tease or tantalize. Not because I am better at quitting than anyone, but because I don't do that anymore. I've replaced those thoughts with so many other ones that my other ones still drown out any thoughts of lighting up.
Life is life. But you can get handed some life-changing situations. You can get thrown into the fire. It is unavoidable. Know yourself well enough to figure out how you are feeling, what you have to do, and how you can get through. Don't entertain smoking thoughts because we don't do that anymore.
Mainly, I like me. I don't, however, like how I behave when I don't pay attention to my needs. So I apologize if I show attitude here. I apologize if I hurt feelings here. I will pay better attention :)
Happy Saturday, all!