~~You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.~~ Friedrich Nietzsche
When I first quit on this site five or six years ago, I would read the elders' blogs and think "I want to be just like them!" I wanted to have over 1000 days quit, I wanted to be wise about smoking (and quitting). I wanted to "get it". Then I failed and was back at day 1. My thoughts quickly went back to the elders. I wondered how they 'got it' and I didn't.
I even tried the things they said kept them quit. I read....I read....I read. I mimicked. I copied. I shadowed. And got more sad as I still didn't "get it".
One day I read that "It isn't rocket science." And I got it. For me, it made perfect sense. Quitting wasn't difficult at all. Hard was for curing cancer or seveloping the formula for cold fusion or even balancing a checkbook. Quitting wasn't hard....I just couldn't smoke ever again. Simple. I gave myself the week-end to be b^#*tchy and then I decided to get on with life...more positive and energetic than ever. It worked for me. Doesn't mean I didn't have my bad moments. But I got it and all was well. I knew I wasn't going to fail.
You may be where I once was, thinking "Why don't I get it???"
Maybe it's because you are looking for an answer outside yourself like I was. But I don't think that will work...it didn't for me. We can't quit for you. No one can't give you your "ah-ha" moment. It needs to come from you!
We give you tools you can use. We give you ideas, suggestions, support, encouragement. This site even has information on addiction, tracking, what works best, what you CAN do. But it doesn't give you any magic formula. No perfect answer. The site cannot quit for you. Elders cannot quit for you. You need to do that most important part.
But that is a blessing in disguise, smokers! You are in control of your quit. That is powerful, isn't it?? You can create it, you can design it. You know what will work for you. I couldn't handle pictures of mouth cancer, or burnt lungs, or yellowed fingers.....but those motivate others to quit and to stay quit. I became a positivity freak....singing, dancing, blowing bubbles. Those things might drive others quietly insane but they worked well for me.
So remember that we give tools. Look to us for suggestions. Look to us for advice. But look to yourself to quit smoking. Look to yourself to keep that quit going any way you need to. And then come here and let everyone know what worked for you. Because that's what we do. We share so every smoker has the tools he/she needs for a successful quit.
Hope this makes sense. I am not the best at giving advice. But I know what it's like to want what all the quitters have and I know what I was doing wrong. So I hope this helps. Sheri