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2016
Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

You are Enough

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Mar 23, 2016

~~The fact that you are enough, exactly as you are, has nothing to do with how you look, or what you do for work, or who your friends are, or where you live, or how smart and rich you are, or how generous and selfless you are, or how creative and talented you are.  None of this matters, not in the least.

You are enough, exactly as you are, simply because you exist, like all of us, a child of the divine.  You don't have to do a things to prove your worth.  You have been worthy since your first breath, and you will be worthy to your last.~~  Scott Stabile

Throughout my time here, I have been attempting to say this very thing.  Not in these precise words and not as eliquently as this...but still.  And the reason I have been here and the reason I've been saying this is because so many of us feel like we have to prove our worth to the world.  We work hard at being worthy.  Through our jobs, our generosity, our daily lives.  And even our quits.

We want to show we deserve them.  We want to show how hard we work at quitting no matter how very, very difficult our lives are....our quits are...our worlds are. 

Some of us do have those very difficult lives.  Some of us do have to work hard at our quits.  Some of us do want to prove our worth to the world.

But when we recognize that we don't have to.....that we are worthy simply because we exist....our struggles cease to exist.  When we understand that we don't have prove our worthiness, the world calms and our presence in that world fits perfectly.  There will still be challenges.  There will still be bad days.  But never a bad life.

Your quit isn't about deserving it.  Your quit is about you recognizing you've always deserved it.  You matter.  You are worthy.  And you have never had to prove it.

That's really all I ever wanted to get across to those who know it's time to quit.  I've been there.  I know the internal chaos.  It's ok.  You are ok.

My time at Ex is over.  While I love so many people here, it's not my place.  And I recognize it.  But before I left, I wanted to say something like this to all those who still haven't found their forever quit.  It's there.  I promise you it's there.  You just have to recognize it in all it's glory and stunning beauty.   Recognize the quitter in you and understand your worth is already in place and has been since your first breath.

The world is waiting for you.

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Say Yes

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Mar 20, 2016

~~Say yes.  Whatever it is, say yes with your whole heart & as simple as it sounds, that's all the excuse life needs to grab you by the hands & start to dance.~~ Unknown

Just say yes.  Yes, I quit smoking.  Yes, I started living.  Yes, I love myself enough to take good care of me.  It's not hard.  You just have to be willing to let go.

Let go of the excuses that keep you in your comfort zone.  Let go of the idea that quitting is agony.  Let go of your thoughts that you aren't good enough or smart enough or strong enough to quit.  Of course you are!!

You are a miracle.  You are brilliant.  You are remarkable.  All you have to do is remember that.  You were created to sparkle and there is something unique in you that the whole world is waiting for. 

All you have to do is come out behind that cloud of smoke.  Say yes, you can!!  Say yes, you will!!  And when those doubts creep in, shout yes, I am a quitter!!!  Yes, I will make it through!!!  Yes, I am worth stepping outside my comfort zone.

And allow life to grab you by the hand and dance with you.  Without that haze of smoke in front of you, you are going to see life as it truly is.  Lovely, free, exciting!  Stimulating, challenging, interesting!!  And you will smile as you dance.....simply because you said, "Yes".

~~Nobody will protect you from your suffering.  You can't cry it away or eat it away or starve it away or walk it away or punch it away or even therapy it away.  It's just there, and you have to survive it.  You have to endure it.  You have to live through it and love it and move on and be better for it and run as far as you can in the direction of your best and your happiest dreams across the bridge that was built by your own desire to heal.~~  Cheryl Strayed

Sometimes quitters feel that they suffer through their quit.  And they may.  Learning new skills, getting in touch with their hidden emotions, ridding their bodies of toxic chemicals.  It can be hard.

But you still need to live through it.  Endure it.  Even love it.  Because suffering means we are alive.  Suffering means we become aware of how strong we are.  Suffering won't last.  Nothing lasts forever.  And during this time of suffering, you need to become gentle with yourself.  Kind to yourself.  And nurture yourself through it. 

Struggling only brings acute suffering.  More pain.  More focus on the hurt.  More suffering.  Battling the suffering opens more wounds and can actually lead to relapse.  You have to allow it because only through the suffering can you heal.

So, my dear quitters, have patience with yourself.  Love yourself.  Find yourself.  And accept the suffering.  It won't last.  Really.  IT WON"T LAST!!!

And soon you will notice the healing more than the suffering.  You'll feel better.  You'll look better.  And your life will take on new meaning.  It means something to quit!!  And that means moving through the suffering into the healing. 

The world is a beautiful place.  You deserve to see it, to enjoy it, to live in it!  To discover it, explore it, create it.  To feel the joy of it and the wonder of it.  To be a part of it.

Own your suffering, then, and move towards healing....towards freedom....towards living the life you were always meant to have. 

*ps-May I please add that I never saw quitting as a source of suffering.  I was glad I quit and visualized myself healing each and every day.  I tried to stay positive and upbeat.  Not everyone is like that, I know, so I hope this blog helps those who are having difficulty seeing the healing through missing the smoking.

~~The distance between dreams and reality is called action.~~  Unknown

I think quits are very personal.  They have to be.  No one else has your unique perspective on life.  No one else sees the world through your eyes.  No one else has your hopes and dreams or even your strengths or talents.  And you need those things.....hopes, dreams, strengths, talents....to have your forever quit.

It's those people who take control of their quits who are now enjoying their sparkling, shining forever quit.  Those people who not only ask questions but develop their own plans.  Those people who not only pay attention to what others are saying but also take action on that advice.  Those people who understand that what they think, they become. 

Quitters create their quits.  They plan them, they nuture them, they make their decisions and honor them.  Using an NRT?  They read the directions and use them properly.  Quitting smart turkey?  They have a list of coping skills to get them through.  All of them know what to expect because they have done the research, they have done the reading, they have explored the world of quitting.

Quitters don't use words like "try" or "maybe" or "fail".  They don't set themselves up to fail.  They don't use excuses. 

Be active in your quits, my friends.  It's YOURS.  Nurture it, nuture yourself.  Love it, love yourself.  Honor it, honor yourself.

You don't have to fail.  You don't have to make this a negative, horrible experience.  You don't have to be miserable.  There is a spark of excitement in quitting.  A flare of discovery.  Living without an addiction is something to look forward to!!  And when you hold tight to that precious realization, your quit becomes something of beauty.

So take action in your quit.  Don't just want it.  Don't just talk about it.  Don't just ask others for input.  Make decisions.  Create it.  Develop it.  And then live it.

~~To all by fierce, badass, soft-hearted, gorgeous-souled, wide-eyed rebel women out there, making up their own revolution with style and courage as they go along.  I am so glad you are alive in this time.  The earth bows to your creativity and may the stars salute you every night they come out to take a peek at your fire.~~ S.C, Lourie

We quitters are fierce.....we are badass....we are making our own revolution with style and courage.  Quitting isn't for the weak of heart.  Quitting isn't for the meek.  It takes raw courage.  It takes style.  It takes creativity.

So if you think you can squeak through your quit with your tail tucked and your head down in defeat, think again.  Maybe you are one who can but again, a quit takes fierce bravery. 

If you think you can quit without it changing who you are, think again.  Maybe you can but quitting takes style, creativity, and imagination. 

When you quit, my friends, your magnificence shows!!  Your personality unfolds like a wildflower in a field of bluegrass.  You're suddenly brilliant...different....empowered....badass.  And how marvelous it is to watch!!  I've seen beauty here.  I've seen lovely blossoming.  I've seen creativity and hope and dreams and imagination. 

Look at yourself in the mirror.  There is now a tinkle in your eye that used to be dulled by smoking.  Notice the spring in your step.  You used to stumble over your own feet to buy just one more pack.  Look at the tilt of your head and the proud lifting of your chin where you used to duck and hide as you had one more puff.

Don't ever dismiss the fact that you are remarkable!!  You've done something that others only dream about!!  And the true you is enjoying every smoke free minute of life even during those stressful days.  Because being smoke free is a gift that you will cherish forever.  The gift of life.

How badass is that?  Have a wonderfully delightful evening, all!!  Sheri

~~I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through the process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.~~  Unknown

I did something incredibly brave today.  Really, truly, stunningly brave and I am so proud of me!!  It got me to thinking about my journey...the brave and not so brave moments.  How I went from someone I didn't like at all to a woman I am proud to be.

When I came to this site over 5 or 6 years ago, I was a mess.  Life handed me awfulness after ickiness and I handled none of it well.  Poor health, poor coping skills, loss after loss, weak and....a mess.  Of course I was a smoker!!  Who wouldn't smoke through all that?  And even when I learned how to quit and the importance of a quit and actually quit, I messed it up.

Honestly, I was pathetically lost.  And it took me stepping back, allowing myself to cry, to fall apart, and to be lost in order to start healing.

I hated being a 'victim' even when I was one.  I hated being reliant on others even when I was relying on others.  And I hated smoking when I knew I was so much better than that.

So I healed.  I healed physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  I learned to love myself even when others didn't.  I learned to use all the things I love to surround myself with goodness and light and positive energy.  I learned that a job is a job unless you're doing what you love.  I learned that I would rather be a warrior than a victim.  So that's what I became.

I'm telling you this now because I don't want anyone seeing me as anything other than what I am.  I have made mistakes, I failed a previous quits, I had meltdowns and upsets and tragedy.

But I am a warrior.  I attacked this quit rather than my quit attacking me.  I delight myself with life and living.  My quit is strong and I am strong.

I did something brave today and it never fails to thrill me.  I am so much better than I ever thought I'd be!!  And you can be better too.  Find that warrior in you because I promise you he/she is in there!!  Stop being a victim in life and bring forth the warrior.  Learn to love yourself and learn to love life....no matter what it throws at you.  Good, bad.....it's just life and it's up to you to decide how to live it. 

I did something brave today.....did you?  I hope so!! 

~~Let not what you fear guide you, but the infinite potential of your spirit and source.~~  David Cunliffe

Calling all elders!!  We often inpart a LOT of information on the newbies....all great stuff but it can be sometimes overwhelming.  Would you be willing to condense it into a one word sentence?  In other words, if you could give a one sentence piece of advise to a new quitter, it would be...........?

I'll start!  "You won't fail if you don't smoke so find something else to do."

Anyone????

~~We can't all be  heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.~~  Will Rogers

 

I'll sit and clap!!  Yay, you!!  Yes, you!!  The one who decided it's time to quit smoking.  The one who decided she mattered to the world enough to quit!  The one who knows his worth and understands he is so much more than a cigarette.

I'm clapping for all of you.  So proud of all of you! Because I know that quitting is so much more than not smoking.  That is the easy part.  Don't buy them, don't have them around you, and you won't smoke.  But what will you do instead of smoking?  How will you fill the time? 

You will be your own hero!!  You will find your passion for life.  You will decide you are a treasure!  You will get physically active.  You will kiss your grandchildren.  You will make your world simply stunning!!!

You will find the you that you were always meant to be.  You will gain confidence.  You will explore...discover....delight in your new smoke free world.

And I will be clapping as your life emerges from the smokey shadows of addiction.  As the world comes back into focus, you will learn that life is colorful, exciting, and smells like heaven!  And you will shine as never before.  Because quitting smoking isn't an event.  It is a process and it will change your life!! 

So become your own hero and I will happily, joyously, and enthusiastically sit on the curb and clap as you go by.  I promise.

~~Today I want you to ask yourself this one question.  Why not you?  Why not you to do something for work that you love?  Why not you to have a healthy body?  Why not you to have healthy love?  Why not you to be, have, or do anything you have ever dreamed?!  We are so quick to think others are deserving over ourselves.  The truth is, we are all deserving.  So why not you?~~  Jillian Michaels

Why not you?  I really like this.  Because so often we do tend to applaud others, cheer them on, and wish the best for them while forgetting to cheer for ourselves.  When was the last time you decided that you deserved....a promotion....flowers.....kindness.....a forever quit?

Because you do.  You deserve all the good this world has to offer.  It's not just for your best friend or your favorite aunt or the sweet neighbor who has had a lot of tragedy in her life.  It is also for you.

Bring out your inner sparkle and start shining!!  Grab that passion you have and make life glow!!  Start having those adventures you secretly have dreamed of.  Start feeling the joy of living a life that reflects the beauty of you soul!! 

When you know you deserve it, all these precious life moments will make themselves available to you.  Truly!  They are simply waiting for you to catch up.

Smoking narrowed our field of vision.  For ourselves.  For our world.  Once you stop smoking, start looking for all that you deserve but were too chained to your addiction to notice.

The world is stunning!  And so are you.  You have to believe you deserve it....all the love, the joy, the happiness.  Some of us are adventurers.  Some aren't.  Some of us are creative.  Some aren't.  Find out who you are because you are NOT just a smoker or a quitter.  Grab the best of life because.....you deserve it!!

Happy Friday, all!!  Have a blessed weekend.  Sheri

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Slow Down

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Mar 2, 2016

~~Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears.  Patience means active waiting and enduring.  It means staying with something and do all that we can----working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardships, with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed.  Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well.~~  Dieter F Uchidorf

So many emotions churn within us when we quit....excitement, fear, depression, anxiety....that we can really roller coaster our way into relapse if we aren't careful.

Being careful is boring, right?  Being calm is blah.  Waiting is not in our nature, is it? 

Sometimes it's simply our addiction that encourages us to live in chaos.  And then when we finally take the plunge and quit.....well, it's kinda icky.  We want all those bad feelings over with quickly!!  "How do I stop feeling stressed?"  "Why can't this feeling go away?"  "How long before the cravings are gone?"

Patience.  In patience, calmness.  And in calmness, a quiet knowledge that these icky feelings are part of our recovery and will ease with time.  It's ok to feel ickness.  It's a blessing, really, because that means we aren't killing ourselves with tobacco.

You can feel the excitement of your quit.  You can feel the joy of your quit.  And you can definitely look forward to the beauty of living a smoke free life for the rest of your life.  But don't forget to have patience with yourself.  Addiction doesn't disappear in 72 hours, but the physical withdrawals do.  Things get better day by day, hour by hour....with each cigarette you don't smoke.

Have patience, dear quitters.  Slow down and simply endure well.  Find the calm and cling to that when things feel icky.  It won't last forever.  You need time to heal, time to find yourself, and time to embrace the changes in your life. 

Peace, Sheri

~~You are important and you matter.  Your feelings matter.  Your voice matters.  Your story matters.  Your life matters.  Always.~~  Unknown

Still here tonight?  Looking through the site hoping for the magical formula for a successful quit?  Guess what?

It's you.  You are the magic formula.  You are the answer.  You are the key.

Value yourself.  Honor yourself.  Take care of yourself.  When you smoke, you not only don't do that but you CAN'T to that.  Smoking is about feeding an addiction, period.  It's selfish and self-destructive and pathetic.

You deserve so much better.  You ARE so much better.  You only have to clear the smoke to see the real you.  You have to uncloud your mind and uncloud your body and uncloud your judgment. 

And when you do that, you begin to understand that you are important.  That your life has meaning far above what your addiction ever allowed you to believe.  You will begin to like yourself.  Your smile, your smell, your talents.  You will begin to value yourself.  Your time, your money, your habits. 

You are the key to your quit.  Push past the fear.  Go through the craves and the changes and the recovery.  Know that while it won't be easy, you can do it.  You have to do it because no one can do it for you.

Know that you can.  Be your own hero.  Be your own best friend.  And know you have it in you to quit.

Peace to all this lovely evening, Sheri

~~The more you celebrate in your life, the more in life there is to celebrate.~~  Unknown

Three in one day....I know, I know....too much!!  But I wanted to let you know how I celebrated my 1000 days because I don't think I will ever forget this day.

I saw this dad with his two children in McDonalds today.  The kids were looking at the happy meal toys on display and dad was watching them.  They looked wistful.  I walked up and asked the kids if they ever took their dad out to lunch and they shook their heads.  I handed them $20 and said they should take daddy to lunch and pay for it with this.  I watched while this father ordered meals for the kids.  They got exactly what they wanted.  Dad allowed the child to pay for it.  He waited to see how much was left before he ordered for himself.  Wow...what a wonderful, wonderful daddy!!

Then I went to the local bookstore and heard that the store was closing.  Learned that the owners were not only losing their business but also their home.  Two children at home.  Bought LOTS of books and promised to come back with family and friends. 

I bought myself some beautiful flowers as I don't have anyone who thinks to buy me flowers.  I don't mind.  I like treating myself :-)  Only today when I bought a gorgeous bouquet, I saw an older lady looking at them as well.  I asked if she liked flowers and she told me how her husband always bought her flowers to remind her how much he appreciated her.  Her husband had passed away two years ago.  Did you know that you could order flowers to be delivered once a month for as long as you want?  So I did.

Today as I celebrated, I still marvel at how easy it is to make others smile as well.  You don't have to be rich.  You don't have to do BIG things.  You just have to care. 

My day was so very special to me.  I was lucky enough to meet a wonderful father, a courageous family, and a well-loved woman.  They were my gifts, I think.  I know that they made me feel.  Joy, sorrow, hope.....just feel.  And I didn't have that as deeply when I smoked because my addiction would ruin things.  Today nothing was ruined.  I am blessed.

Sheri