~~There are no secrets in life, just hidden truths that lie beneath the surface.~~ Unknown
I smoked for such a long time. I am divorced. I let down a close friend. I got angry at my daughter. I wish to let you all know I am no saint. I am not perfect. And I most certainly make my share of boo-boos.
I have demons in my past. Most people do. But I leave them in the past. No need to drag heavy shadows with me everywhere I go. They do no one...especially not me....any good anymore. I do not struggle with my demons. I do not fight my way through the murky depths of my past misdeeds. I do not allow shame or humiliation or embarrassment weigh down the joy that has broken free in my soul.
I love to remind people that their past does not define who they are. We all have those pesky little lurking demons. Play with them rather than fight them. They can't hurt you, you know. Only you have that power. And you know that pange of sorrow that hits when you hear that "special" song? After awhile, it won't have the power to hurt you either. Rather it will feel sweetly sorrowful and hold a special place in your heart.
And that thing you regret with your whole being? That one that holds you back from truly feeling free...and happy....and joy....and light? It was simply a lesson learned, honey. So you learn, you thank the world for the experience, painful though it was, and you let it go.
Sometimes I think we smoked because when addicted to a substance, we don't have to work our way out of the negative world we think we live in. A vicious cycle in a way. But when the smoke clears and we wipe the film from our eyes, that negative world begins to fade with the smoke. An illusion built from an addiction we didn't understand.
Life is life, my friends. We make our worlds good or bad. Harsh or beautiful. Battlefield or balanced. Our past? Well, we all have one. Mistakes? All made 'em. Let them loose. Leave them where they belong. And know that the past is simply part of your journey. It teaches. It builds. It gives you gifts such as integrity, courage, grace, and strength.
Keep your head held high and your eyes forward. And know that a bad day....even a bad year...does not equal a bad life. I can't promise what the future holds, but I can promise that you can find joy in you no matter what the future holds.
ps. Remember, if you need some Christmas cheer, or know someone here who does, message me a name and address and I will make sure they receive something for Christmas. Its not just for kids anymore :)