~~holding the hunk of sadness, she looked at it. it was ugly and messy and throbbing with pain. understanding that holding it would do no good, she placed it gently down, touched it with love, and walked away from it. for you see, it wasn't hers to hold.~~ Terri St.Cloud
Quitting smoking can bring on...and bring out.....the worst of emotions. Anger, depression, anxiety, loneliness....all those negatives that we tried to hard to avoid by lighting up a cigarette. Once we stop, those hidden emotions burst forth like firewroks on the 4th of July.
Those emotions aren't yours to hold, dear friends. Recognize them and then touch them with love and walk away. They are only so strong because we've ignored them for so long. All those negatives through life....some of us tended to hide them behind a cloud of smoke because they were "too uncomfortable", "too painful". Now they have come out and they aren't wrong at all.....we just need to learn to identify them and find room for them in our lives.
Sometimes it's easier to hold on to those negative emotions that learn how to feel the positive ones. You know what sadness feels like but it takes effort to find your joy. You understand...and sometimes even like... the anger but don't know how to feel pure happiness. We tend to fall back on the negatives because it's comfortable. Then we can bond over how positive people "can't really be THAT happy".
It's about balance. It's about not holding on to things that hurt you. Its about moving through and moving on. Its about how much you think your worth. There is as much joy in the world as pain. There are as many reasons to smile as to cry. And you are as important to the world as Oprah or Tom Brady or Obama.
I hope you find your very best. And I hope you feel your very best. And I know your very best is out there...waiting for you. Just follow your path and you'll find it. I love so many of you here even when I don't say a whole lot. I pay attention. To Ellen, to Thomas, to Nancy, to Marilyn....all of you here who face life with honesty, courage, grace.....my thoughts are with you. Sheri