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All People > Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 > Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Blog > 2015 > September

Why Not Me?

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Sep 30, 2015

~~Everything changed when she stopped asking "Why me?", and started saying, "Why not?"~~  Queenisms

Life can sometimes be fun.  Sometimes glamorous and filled with love.  Sometimes it can suck the life right out of you.  You can't really take your pick because life doesn't discriminate.  Everyone has good times, bad times, and a lot of in-betweens.

I like to encourage people.  I like to be supportive.  I love to be positive.  Because, for me, positivity gets me through those life sucking moments.  It may hurt, it may damage, it may bruise....but it won't keep me down.

My life sucking moments still happen.  I don't believe I've ever said otherwise.  But I don't smoke through them anymore.  Negative coping killing it what you will.  Quitting and being positive about my quit has instilled wonderful things in my life.  A bad day?  I go to the One Eared Rabbit.  I dance.  I help someone else.  Bad days bring out the good in me.

Quitting has brought out the best in me.  No more hiding behind a smokey cloud.  No more stifled emotions....positive and negative.  No more addictive thinking...which takes longer to recover from than the physical addiction. 

I am free.  I am happy even when it's not a happy day.  I am me.  Sometimes silly.  Sometimes serious.  Sometimes delightful.  Whatever I am, I like it.  I like being smoke free and I like being healthy and I like gaining all the good things that come from loving yourself.

I have had some struggles lately.  But why shouldn't I?  It's life.  And all in all, it's a beautiful life!


~~You would not be here today if yesterday was your defining moment.  Live this day and move towards your dreams.~~  Dr. Steve Maraboli

9/11.  A day of honoring those who perished and those who sacrificed.  A day of remembrance for some, a day of reliving for others.  But a day of something for all.

A day of something because no one was immune from that day.  No one is immune from any national or international tragedy.  Some of us may cry, some may hurt, most are changed in some vital way.

So why am I bringing this up on a quit smoking site?  Because I am asking you to let this day....only a day of honoring yourself as well.  Honor your commitment to your quit.  Honor your commitment to be better if only for today.  Remember that you matter to your loved ones.  Remember that you should matter to yourself.

Just for today, be glad to be alive.  Hug a friend.  Eat lunch with a family member.  Do something extra special just for you.  Buy that dress.  Play hooky from work.  Eat that donut.  Tomorrow is not promised so it is up to us to make sure that we squeeze every bit of living from today. 

I don't want you to be sad.  This isn't a sad blog, even with 9/11.  I honor those who have fallen.  I will never forget.  But I will also continue to celebrate life.  I will continue to let go of hatred, anger, blame.....and I will continue to nuture love, forgiveness, kindness.  Because I would not be here now if yesterday was my defining moment. 

Do not allow smoking thoughts to override thoughts of freedom.  Feel them, allow them, but do not become them.  Release them.  Know they are just a symptom of recovery.  That's all.  Cravings are not a death sentence.  Smoking is.

If you don't feel like you matter to anyone....if you are lonely....if you need a friend, come here and say so in a blog.  Even if it is just "Do I matter?"  Because I will be checking in today and I will be so happy to say "You do!"  Others here I know will say "You do".  Choose today to be the day you begin to truly live.

Much love to all of you those who help, thank you!!  To those who need help, it's here!!  And to all, you matter to the world.  Never forget!!  Sheri

~~If you're struggling, you deserve to make self-care a priority.  Whether that means lying inbed all day, eating comfort food, putting off homework, crying, sleeping, rescheduling plans, finding an escape through a good book, watching your favorite TV show, or doing nothing at all---give yourself permission to put your healing first.  Quite the voice telling you to do more and to be more, and today, whatever you do, let it be enough.  feel your feelings, breathe, and be gentle with yourself.  Acknowledge that you're doing the best you can to cope and survive.  And trust that during this time of struggle, its enough.~~  Daniell Koepke

Have you ever wondered why everyone else seemed to be able to quit...except for you?  I did.  Often.

Have you ever thought that it didn't make sense to you that you couldn't "keep" a quit?  I did.  Many times.

I read.  I gained knowledge.  I learned about addiction.  I knew what could happen if I didn't quit.  Still, it didn't take.  I needed something that no one one period....could give me. 

I needed to believe in myself.  I needed to make myself a priority.  I needed to learn to love myself.  Because without that, I was a smoker.  My thoughts, my feelings, my needs were always secondary to everyone else's.  And so I stayed unhappy....exhausted....and unwilling to give up that artificial pleasure that smoking gave me.

I left this site.  I focused on self-esteem.  Mine :)  I focused on my health.  I focused on being ok with my flaws and faults.  It took time, of course, but the time started to fly as I learned that I wasn't so bad!  As I discovered that I was kinda....adorable.  I liked me.

And so I got better.  I healed.  My heart mended.  My soul began to giggle in delight.  And my quit took on a life of it's own. True story!!

This is why I blog.  For those of you who may read, struggle to get where everyone else seems to be, and feels less than perfect.  Maybe you just need to be reminded that you aren't a copy of the other quitters are a brilliant first addition of you!!  You cannot quit looking at everyone else's quit.  You need to look inward and know how to take good care of you.  Know your strengths, know your weaknesses, and know that the world will be a little less bright without you.  In other words, you matter!!  You are loveable.  You are delightful.  And somewhere within you is a quitter longing for that freedom.  Relax and break free.  Your way. 

This is why I blog.  This is why I stay.  I know you can succeed.  Maybe you just need reminding of how special you actually are.  Sheri

~~You are not accidental.  Existence needs you.  Without you, something will be missing in existence and nobody can replace it.  That's what gives you dignity.  That the whole existence will miss you.  The stars and sun and moon, the trees and birds and earth-everything in the universe will feel a small place is vacant which cannot be filled by anybody but you. ~~  Osho

It's true, you know.  Without you, the world would not be whole.  You bring something unique to life that we all need.  Maybe a smile, maybe kindness, maybe a simple joy.  Whatever it is that makes you who you are.

I have said it before.  You are so much more than a smoker.  But sometimes, being a smoker, we get into the addict mind set of routine.  Cigarette and coffee in the morning....cigarette breaks during the day....dinner and a cigarette....relaxing (not true!) with a cigarette.....see?

Quitting is more than not smoking.  Quitting is the opportunity we need to fall in love with life.  A cup of tea in early morning, listening to the birds wake nature.  A stroll through a park during the day, enjoying the ability to breathe easier as we go.  Dinner and excellent conversation with those we love.

In falling in love with life, we begin to give back to the world those things that make us unique.  Compassion.  Gentleness.  Love.  Creativity.  A musical laugh.  A graceful dance.  Friendship.  Leadership.

I can't wait to see you grow in your quit!!  I can't wait to read your blog that shows you finally get isn't about struggling with a quit.  Life is something you fall in love with once the smokiness of addiction has cleared.  It may take time....give yourself that time.  It may be hard...nothing worth having in life ever comes easy all the time.  But it is so worth it!!  You are worth it.  One of my favorite quotes "She loved life and life loved her right back" says it all.  Life is waiting to love you.  Existence NEEDS you.  Focus on that.  Focus on the good just waiting around the bend.  Focus on the beauty in you.  Focus on all you bring to the world. 

And know that I can't wait to read your blog about how much you love your life....because life will love you right back :)  You can do this.    Sheri