~~Seek respect, not attention. It lasts longer.~~ Unknown
Many people come here to EX, unaware of what this community is all about. They come, they look around, read a blog or two, and then post about wanting to quit. BAM!!! The responses they get are overwhelming, inspiring, supporting.....and they are off. Excited about everything, they jump in with both feet. Blogging daily, making friends, sharing their quitting journeys. Everything is fine until.......
They disappear. Or they get suddenly silent. Or they admit to a 'slip' and ask for forgiveness. They are ashamed, embarrassed, humbled.
Please, dear quitters......please remember why you are here. You aren't here to gain friends while losing your quit. You aren't here to have 20 responses to your latest blog while silently craving a smoke. You aren't here to bond with others without also learning about addiction, quitting, coping, and managing your quit.
In other words, the support here is only as strong as the quitter being supported. We can't read minds, we aren't your friend only when you are "doing" what you are supposed to be doing...reading Allen Carr, reading whyquit,com, blogging regularly......etc....etc....we are here to help. First and foremost, we want you to quit.
This is not meant harshly. This is not said in anger or judgment. This is not everyone's opinion....only mine. But I've lived it. I've seen it over and over again. And I hate the fact that being popular is sometimes more important than truly digging in and learning how to successfully quit smoking.
Numbers...quitclocks....money saved....means nothing if you don't truly "get" your quit. I don't know how many times people say that they hate resetting their clocks. That's not important. Getting healthy and preventing cancer and coping with COPD......these things are what's important.
You may hate coming back here once you "slipped" because you have to 'fess up and disappoint people who believed in you. Disappointing others who also used to smoke???? That's not important. Because its not about what others think of you. Its what you think of you that's important.
So please don't get so wrapped up in the comments, the clocks, the support, the friendships so that you forget why you are actually here. You are here to quit...to strengthen your quit.....to understand, to learn, to recover. That is what's important. You are what's important. Cravings come out of the blue, they say. Not always. Sometimes we just get too wrapped up in the community and not pay enough attention to our quits.
I love to see the numbers grow...1 week....1 month....1 year!! Great!!! I love to hear about your families, your jobs, your thoughts!! You are so unique and amazing :) I love to support. But none of that matters if you don't quit. As much as I will do for you if asked, I cannot quit for you. Remember why you are here.
Ok, done now. I hope this helps, I hope I explained myself well....I'm better at being light and happy than serious issues, but I felt this was important.
Take good care of your precious quits!!