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2015

~~Beauty is not in the face.  It is a light in the heart.~~  Kahlil Gabran

 

We have so much beauty on this site!  Have you noticed?  When I read about someone excited about entering "double digits", I see beauty.  When I read about someone encouraging another, I see a breathtaking glow.  And when I read about someone overcoming their addiction, I see a stunning loveliness.

Sometimes its easy to get bogged down in feeling tired, stressed, overwhelmed, or depressed.  Quitting is a process with many twists and turns, ups and downs.  But I think maybe that's the beauty of it.  Every time you don't smoke when your journey takes a sharp dip or a dangerous curve, you gain something that makes you shine.  A confidence maybe, that you can do this.  Or maybe a peace that comes with accepting rather than struggling.  I don't really know what it is....but I know I see so much loveliness here that comes from within.

For every hurt, for every loss, for every heartbreak, there is healing, there is hope, there is help.  And that is true beauty. 

So thank you all for sharing your hearts....your beauty....your shine.  It is a reflection of all that is good here on this site.  And it matters.

Sheri

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

All You Deserve

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Jan 30, 2015

~~Sometimes all you have to do is forget what you feel and remember what you deserve.~~  Unknown

 

You deserve to feel healthy instead of sick with bronchitis...or COPD....or cancer.

You deserve to have the time to enjoy life rather than waste your time feeding your addiction.

You deserve to know the freedom that being a nonsmoker brings.

You deserve to live. 

You deserve to smell good.

You deserve to have money to spend on the things you want rather than on what controls you.

You deserve to live.

You deserve the very best life has to offer.

You deserve everything you've ever dreamed of.

You deserve to know the freedom of not wanting a cigarette.

You deserve it all, my friends. 

You deserve to live.

I wish you nothing but the very best. 

Sheri

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

A Bit Nostalgic

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Jan 29, 2015

Nostalgia (n):  a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time.

 

Did you ever feel it?  That warm, bittersweet feeling that squeezes the heart and yet also brings a smile to your lips?  Maybe it's a song on the radio, maybe it's a picture from your youth.  But it's there and you can sometimes just pull it out when you need it...that feeling of happiness of a former place or time.

That's how I feel here.  I searched for past friends who aren't here anymore.  Neen, Greg, Laura, KathyS...and my very special bestest friend, Daisy.  How I miss them!!  Four or five years ago, they were such a big part of my life....we laughed, we supported each other, we had fun, we cried. 

I ended up smoking again back then.  I lost my perspective, lost my health, lost my quit.  Went and hid not because this site or because my dearest friends weren't supportive or kind but because I had to pull myself out of a deep dark pit that I had fallen into.  And so I did.  My health returned, my balance returned, my smile returned.  I healed.

And some lovely friends I met here four or five years ago are still here and still dear.  Rickie, Tommy, Dale, the best person in the world--BeeJay!!--LindaN....so many reminders of goodness and love in the world.

But I miss you, Neen.  And Daisy.  And Kathy.  And the rest.  Please know that you meant the world to me at a time when my world was so off kilter.  You kept me sane.  And I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  To those I miss and to those who still keep me sane....Thomas, Teresa, JoAnne, lovely Sootie....you are shining examples of how the world should be.  How all people should be.  Good. 

Thank you all.

Sheri

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Lighten Up!

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Jan 29, 2015

~~Don't take life to seriously.....you'll never get out of it alive :)~~  Unknown

 

Life.  Don't ya just love it?!!  But sometimes things bog us down.  We  surround ourselves with all those negative emotions.....the guilt, the anger, the frustrations.  We focus on trying to control our small part of the world.  Trying to make things right.  Trying to just hang in there.

You want a little tip from someone who's been there?

Lighten up.

Let it go.

Laugh.

Life isn't all about serious stuff.  And the best way to be stressed each day is to focus solely on what's wrong with you....what's wrong with your life....what's wrong with the world.  No wonder why smoking and other addictions continue on!  Who can live with that all the time?

Lighten up.  Grin.  Smile.  Blow bubbles.  Sneak in a whoopee cushion on your boss's chair.  Turn everything upside down in your coworker's office.  Put an "I love you" note in your child's lunch.  Tell a joke.  Watch "I love Lucy".  Burp (my grandson thinks its funny!).

Do whatever it is you do to have fun.  Buy a red balloon.  Chew gum.  Jump rope.  And, my all time favorite thing to do.....dance!!!  In a fountain.  On a table.  In the doctor's office.  On the street.  Someone will be smiling when they see you.  I promise :)

Lighten up.  How freeing it is to laugh.  How wonderful the world looks when you're happy!!  Trust me, it makes a difference.  Life is soooo short.  Enjoy it.  Love it.  Live it.

What makes you smile?

Sheri

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Just Live

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Jan 28, 2015

~~In life we do things.  Some we wish we had never done.  Some we wish we could replay a million times in our heads.  But they all make us who we are and in the end they shape every detail about us.  If we were to reverse any of them we wouldn't be the person we are.  Just live, make mistakes, have wonderful memories, but never second guess who you are, where you have been, and most importantly where it is you're going.~~  Unknown

Just live.  How simple that seems yet how difficult most of us make it.  We fight for control, we struggle for perfection, we refuse to accept negative emotions.  We, in fact, fight living.  To live means to embrace each minute....not only the good ones.  To live means to love yourself even when you make mistakes or are not perfect.  To live means to appreciate every breath we take.

I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic awful beautiful life!!  And I encourage each one of you crazy, tragic, magically beautiful people to stop fighting life and just live it.  Stop looking for reasons to fail.  Failure will happen on its own.  Stop looking for reasons to return to your addiction in order to "feel good".  Addictions kill.  Stop beating yourself up for every mistake, every fall, every heartbreak.  It helped make you who you are.  And who you are is lovely....wonderful....amazing!!

So get out there today.  In life.  Live.  Just be.  Love yourself.  And allow life to flow however it flows.  You can handle it.  I promise.

Thank you all for your kind words.  I did read them :)  Enjoy your day!!

Sheri

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

I Made Her Cry

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Jan 23, 2015

I made someone cry yesterday.  It wasn't intentional and I wasn't mean but she cried anyway.  And I am only telling you this because her tears reminded me of something that I thought everyone already knew.

You HAVE to take good care of yourself!!  You sometimes have no control over what stresses you out (you can't control an irrational boss, for example") but you can get through any kind of stress if you feel good about you, if you are getting enough sleep, and you are getting the nutrients you need to function.

As this woman cried yesterday, most things I asked had her tearing up even more.  What did she do for herself each day?  How did she relax?  What did she enjoy doing most?  Who gave her a hug when she needed one?  Simple things that help us get through the day, right?  Well, she felt she had no time to herself.  No time to do things she liked to do, and no one who even thought to hug her. 

I told her to make a list of the things she enjoyed...whether it was watching a sunset, having a hot cup of tea in the mornings, or reading a good book.  Make a LIST, not just one or two activities.  And every day she should choose one thing to do.  Of course there is time!  But she needs to make herself a priority rather than an afterthought. 

So, why am I telling you this?  When I read these blogs, sometimes I read how someone is stressed.  Someone is frustrated.  Someone is going through traumatic times.  But I seldom read how someone is taking the time to truly care for themselves.  You can't stop the withdrawal symptoms or the cravings as you stop smoking.  You can't always stop the stress that seems to increase 100% when you stop smoking (note I said SEEMS to increase!).  But by taking good care of you each step of the way, you will feel that you can get through all the icky parts of quitting.  I thought I would assist you by giving you 10 simple steps to self-care (don't know who to credit with these):

1.  If it feels wrong, don't do it.

2.  Say EXACTLY what you mean.

3.  Don't be a people pleaser.

4.  Trust your instincts.

5.  Never speak bad about yourself.

6.  Never give up on your dreams.

7.  Don't be afraid to say no.

8.  Don't be afraid to say yes.

9.  Be kind to yourself.

10.  Let go of what you cant control.

I am able to keep in contact with the lovely woman who was crying.  She only needs support and someone to guide her into remembering that she matters to the world as much as her children, her husband, her boss, and her clients matter.  I would like to hear from people here about what you do for yourself daily to feel healthy, strong, and confident.  Because healthy, strong, confident people can get through the toughest of times without smoking or hurting themselves in any way.  I may not know you, but I care that you realize you matter enough to care for yourselves.

Wishing you happiness, health, and courage!

Sheri

ps:  This will be my last blog.  I am not the best person to offer advice and I don't write clearly stated blogs that brilliantly illustrate everything you need to know about quitting.  I will be here to read, to converse one on one, and to encourage where I can. 

~~And the smile that is worth the praises of the earth is the smile that shines through tears.~~  Ella Wheeler Wilcox

 

We make mistakes in life.  We fail at endeavors.  We fall.  Of course we do!  It's called being human.  But we also also pick ourselves up.  We continue on.  We persevere.

For every negative in life, there is a positive.  For every mistake, there is a lesson learned.  For every heartbreaking moment, there is peace in healing.

Only through getting through those tough times can we grow.  Challenges are what make us strong, wise, and courageous.

So rather than get discouraged, find those things that will help you persevere.  Remind yourself that you deserve good things.  Remind yourself that you will persevere.  Remind yourself that a fall doesn't mean you can't get back up.

Cry if you need to.  Sometimes it heals.  Ask for a hug.  Ask for a kind word.  Don't feel lost or alone.  We need each other from time to time.

Most of all, know that the sun will come out again.  Life doesn't stop but the negatives can always blossom into positives.  You just have to remind yourself they can. 

I believe in positives.  I believe in hope and faith and all things good.  It doesn't mean I don't fail or I don't go through bad times.  It just means that I know they will end and sunshine will warm me again.

Have a lovely, sweet, wonderful day!!!

Sheri

~~Make your life a living, thriving, moving masterpiece.~~  Unknown

 

Start with your quit.  You will hear often that you need to "own" your quit.  You need to "protect" your quit.  The first thing quitters need to do is to "create" their quit.  Really!!  This is all about how you want to proceed.  How you want to feel.  And how you want to move on in your quitting journey.

Think about it.  You can make your quit anything you want to!  You can make it fun, interesting, happy, bold, silly, or serious.  Its up to you how you want to do this.  Isn't that grand??!!

There are a few givens in your quit.  Withdrawals?  Yep, they will happen.  Cravings?  Yep, they will happen also.  And finally, you will most likely feel uncomfortable emotions such as anger, frustration, sadness.  But the more you create lovely ways to handle these things, the less likely these things will bruise your quit.

So.  What will it be?  Are you knowledgeable about addiction?  Read, listen, and learn if you want to.  Do you have a plan for your cravings?  Will you dance through them, laugh at them, phone a friend, cry??  Do you have family standing by willing to say, "You smell sooooo gooooodddd!!!"  Do you have a list of rewards you want to do or buy yourself with all that saved money??  Are you going to celebrate daily, weekly, monthly?

Create a beautiful quit.  Because you can.  Because you deserve it.  Because a quit doesn't have to be angonizing.  Be a conductor.  Be an artist.  Be an author.  Be the star of the show.  Life has given you the opportunity to make something amazing out of a nasty addiction.  Take that chance. Create.  Design.  Be adventurous.  Be kind.  Be outstanding.  Be whatever you want to be.  How freeing it is to know that this quit...your quit....is totally up to you?!!

Create that masterpiece, my friends.  Have a stunning quit.  Believe you can do it.  Because you can.

Enjoy!!

Sheri

~~Sky above me, Earth below me, Fire within me.  I believe in me.~~  Unknown

 

I seldom give advice about quitting.  There is so much of it here and I am one small voice in a crowd.  My opinions, my ideas, and my thoughts about quitting are right for me, but not necessarily for everyone.  However, sometimes I feel an overwhelming urge to come here and remind newbies...and sometimes not so newbies...that the successful quit comes not from others, not from a website, not from a book, but a forever quit comes from within.

Books, websites, friends, and "elders" are excellent (I would venture to say vital) supports for those quitting.  One can gain knowledge, confidence, and skills through reading, talking to others, and sharing experiences.  I am in no way ignoring how very much these things aid in a forever quit.

But if one's best quit buddy is not available....when the book has said it all the same way for months....when sharing becomes more important than taking care of one's self.....recovery is threatened.

You quit, my lovely quitter, comes from within you.  It is a small spark of hope that you can overcome this addiction.  It is a flickering light of faith that if others can quit, maybe it is true that you can as well.  And when you nuture that spark and give energy to that flickering light, you create your own magnificent fire within yourself.

Soon you begin to understand that when you successfully don't smoke for one hour, you can make it to two.  When you accept that smoking is not an option for YOU anymore, you find healthy alternatives, positive coping skills, and encouraging support.  You grow into the lovely, amazing quitter that is within you waiting for the change to blossom.

It's there.  I know it is.  No doubt.  But you have to feel it.  You have to nuture it.  You have to bring it forth.  And when you do, nothing and no one will ever be able to take it away from you.  No traumatic event, no cruel person, no uncontrollable situation.  Because YOU own it. 

It's a most miraculous feeling, my friends.  You look at the world differently when you own your quit.  You feel so different when you believe in yourself. 

So take what you need here.  Educate yourself.  Build those everlasting friendships.  Gain knowledge and support.  But don't forget the bottom line.  It's YOUR quit.  Its up to you and only you to build it, nuture it, and own it.  ~~Believe in yourself and all that you are.  Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.~~  Christian D. Larson

I believe in you and I hope I have passed you a spark that may grow into a fire inside you.  Believe you can do it.

Take good care, my friends.

Sheri

Sometimes heros don't come in with a roar, but instead with a quiet, gentle presence that soothes, calms, and remains constant during a time of chaos and uncertainty.  That's how it is with my hero.  Someone here who has been my constant.  Who has believed in me when I did not believe in myself.  Who has helped so many on this site that I definitely could not name them all.

Now it's time for me to repay a small bit of the time he has spent here....supporting, encouraging, and making quits somewhat....fun!!

 

Happy birthday, dear Ohio!!!  Known here as RickM :)  I can't do links but if you can find him, please wish him a happy day.  He deserves so much more than I can ever repay.  But I want you to know, Rickie, that I wish you the very, very best of everything.  You mean a lot to me and I know to many who feel the same way.

Enjoy your day, dear friend, and sincere thanks for helping to save my life.

Happy Birthday,  Sheri