Skip navigation
All People > Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 > Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Blog > 2014 > June

~~To often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all which have the potential to turn a life around.~~  Leo Buscaglia


A close family member was contemplating suicide, believing he was worthless and no one cared.  He got online to say good-bye to family when he opened an email from someone he hadn't heard from in a while.  She wrote that she missed him and hoped that he was doing well because he deserved all the good things life had to offer.  He called her right then and thanked her for saving his life.

I taught adults with chronic mental illness and one day took them to a local community agency for new (but used) clothes as the season was changing.  If you filled out an application, you were entitled to three outfits if you qualified financially.  My people did, I knew.  But when we got there and they went up to the service counter, the staff member yelled at them to step back and looked at me.  "What do you want me to do with 'these people'?" she asked with disgust.  A very gentle group member looked ashamed and left the store.  We never did go back there.

Two different situations with two different outcomes.  Kindness does make a difference, whether you ever see the results of it or not.  You may be someone's reason for trying to get out of bed yet another day.  You may be someone's reason to continue with their quit yet another day.  You may  never know the good you do but I can promise you, it's there.  And all it takes is a smile.....a kind word.....patience.....a touch.

Kindness has touched me here.  Some utterly amazing people were kind to me here and that is the reason I finally reached that moment of "I'm done smoking".  They were kind, they believed in me and it helped.

So please remember that kindness matters in that it makes people have keeps their faith in themselves brings a bit of sunshine to a sometimes dark and lonely world.  Everyone should feel wanted in this world.

Thank you to my Ex-friends who made me feel like I mattered.  391 days today of no smoking and so it continues due, in part, to your kindness.  I hope I am able to pass it on :-)

Happy Monday, all!


~~The first step in getting anywhere is deciding you're no longer willing to stay where you are.~~  Unknown


A friend recently asked me why I come to the Ex site.  I don't offer advice, I don't converse much with others, and I my quit is solid.  I don't talk much about smoking or how I was able to quit or even cheer about how I know you can do it.  (And I do KNOW you really can!)

The truth is that I believe as adults, you can figure it out.  You don't need me to tell you how to quit.  You don't need me to offer 10 top techniques or 3 tips for an easier quit.  You don't need my take on chantix versus the patch versus cold turkey.  

Everyone has opinions.  Everyone has their own unique spin on what they consider is best.  Everyone has ideas, tips, advice, hints, links, books.......there is a multitude of people here willing, able, and GOOD at giving you what you need.  I am not the best at advice.  I am not the best at medical knowledge of smoking, addiction, or COPD.  

What I can do, I do.  I have confidence in YOU.  You can handle your quit.  You will choose what's best for you.  You will quit your way in your time.  You are capable.  You are able.  You know what will work best for you.  You will line up your support.  You will take what you need and leave the rest.  Your quit is best served by you, for you, with you in the driver's seat.

I only want to make sure you know how important you are.  To your quit.  To your life.  To others who love you and want you to be there for them.  I want you to know that you are needed here in the world.  I want you to know that you are as important as anyone else here on this site....or in your house....or in the world.  I want you to recognize your worth, your talents, your gifts.  I want you to know that by quitting, you are taking the best possible care of your health.  By quitting, you are acknowledging your worth.  By quitting, you are taking control of your life and not allowing addiction to rule.

I'm not the person you need to help you quit.  I'm not here often and I'm not that intelligent that I know what you need.  Others here are.  We all have our gifts and the people on this site are absolutely the best at giving you the tools you need to successfully quit.  But they are only are the only one who determines if you can quit.

I sometimes wish I had more to offer.  But it is what it is and I am who I am.  I believe EVERYONE can quit successfully.  And that, I think, is most important.  What you do with that is up to you :)

May you have a truly blessed Thursday!!  May you recognize your own strength and delight in the person you are.


~~Just for today, I will NOT self sabotage anything.  Not my relationships, not my self-esteem, not my plans, not my goals, not my hopes, not my dreams.~~  Unknown


Just for today, I will be happy.  I will take time to feel the warm air on my face.  I will hug a little bit more.  I will allow the world to be as it is.

Just for today I will enjoy being me.  I will be silly and goofy.  I will dance, sing, and feel free from worry and stress.  I will like myself.

Just for today, I will accept myself and the world as it is.  I will love my flaws as well as my talents.  I will appreciate the beauty of nature.  I will honor the friendships that mean so much to me.  I will help them when I can, I will love them unconditionally, and I will remind them of how truly precious they are.

Just for today I will celebrate 381 days of being smoke free.  I will stop, smile, and wonder at the new, improved non-smoking me :)  

Just for today, I will live.

I hope others will join me.  Peace to all of you and may you enjoy being smoke free just for today.



Simply Emotions

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Jun 17, 2014

~~People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.  Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they're lost.~~  Dalai Lama


I've read a lot on here about "happy" quitters.  I've also read a lot about people apologizing for not being one.  Sometimes I just want to say "Stop apologizing for being you!!" 

Happiness is an emotion that cannot be sustained forever.  Emotions come and go depending on what is going on in our lives and how we respond to them.  I haven't met a person yet who is happy all the time.  There are times when happy isn't really an option.

I am basically a happy person.  I have danced through much of my life simply because I enjoy life.  I appreciate the fact that I'm healthy, I have people who love me, and I don't want to miss anything spectacular :)  Yet I've had my share of pain, heartbreak, and loss.  In those times, I've felt a wide range of emotions and happiness wasn't in the mix at all.

I guess what I'm getting at is that it is ok not to feel happiness if you don't feel it.  It's ok to be angry, its ok to feel's ok simply to feel.  Emotions come and go.  The thing to remember in your quit is that for every second you don't smoke a miracle occurs.  You, my Ex-friends, are the miracles :)  You bring to this world unique perspectives, talents, and heart that no one else (get that?  NO ONE!) has.  So quit your way, however you want to feel.  But keep that quit because the world needs you.  Not another statistic, not another smoking death....the world needs you here and healthy.

Emotions may come and go.....but you don't have to live like that.  Be healthy and protect that precious quit.

Wishing you all a lovely, smoke-free day,


~~Handle yourself with tender, loving care as you're more precious than you believe, more valuable than you think, and worth more than you'll ever know.~~  Unknown


I want to thank all of you who helped me celebrate my one year anniversary.....I am truly humbled and honored that you would take the time to blog about celebrating yourself!  Or even that you would celebrate with me!  From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

It wasn't until I learned to value myself that I finally understood quitting smoking for good.  Commitment to quitting because I was committed to treating myself as a person of worth.  I take good care of myself now and I like me.......and I do not smoke anymore.

It may not be like this for everyone.  Some may need advice or help that I cannot imagine.  I think that's why there are so many amazing personalities here on Ex.....something for everyone!  But I sincerely hope that all of you appreciate yourselves in some way or at least take good care of yourselves. 

It matters to me that all of you know how precious you are.  I don't really know why other than I don't feel anyone deserves to feel alone, abandoned, worthless, hopeless, or defeated.  Everyone matters.  Even with problems, even with ailments, even smoking......everyone matters!

So, again, thank you for the lovely blogs about are remarkable, amazing people!!  I'm glad I got to know you just a little bit better :)  Thanks also to those who wished me well.  I am honored. 

I wish for all a magnificent week-end!!  Be kind to yourselves and don't forget to dance in the's a beautiful feeling!!


I start my new job tomorrow.....which is my one year quit anniversary :)  While I won't be here with you, please know that I will be happy all day and grateful for all that I have.  I am still hoping that everyone here will celebrate very unique and brilliant you are!!  Never let life dull the sparkle that makes you special.  Never let negativity dim that glow.

While life is short, some of the longest days are those spent fear....thinking that you are the only one in the world who feels this pain or loss.  But keep in mind that most of us have been there at one time or another.  People here do truly understand.  So now it's time to put all those long days aside and bring in the joy, the amazing light, that you have inside you!!  Life is remarkable but sometimes it takes practice in bringing forth the positive.  No sneering!!  No scoffing!!  We all have light inside of us...we were all born to shine!  

Are you a closet accordian player?  Can you use a pogo stick?  Are you a shower singer?  Celebrate you tomorrow by allowing those creative talents to flow!  Are you a good listener?  Can you write?  Are you the best dad ever?  Whatever your talents, whatever your skills, whatever you want to try for the first time....let tomorrow be the day you focus on celebrating you.  I will be waiting, my fingers crossed, to hear about your day :)

Happy 1 year anniversary, Jeanne!!  Hugs to you, Maria!!  Love you bunches, Linda!!  Ohio, you will always be my hero!!  To all my Ex friends and family......thank you.  I am truly blessed to have 'met you' :) 


~~Celebrate yourself!  Take time to celebrate yourself and the unique gifts you bring to the world.  The world needs your brilliance right now more than ever.~~  Anonymous


In two days, I will have one year of NOT smoking behind me.  I have a request.  Could we have a day of celebrating ourselves?  Not celebrating me......each of you celebrating yourselves instead.  Your gifts, your talents, your personalities.  To have a day where you think about how important you are in the world.  That you are so very precious.....that you matter.  Because you do.

You can celebrate by having a special cup of tea.  You can celebrate by using your gift.....paint a picture, knit a scarf, write a poem.  Organize a closet, work in your garden, be a best friend to someone in need.  Whatever you are good at.  Whatever you desire to do.  Whatever comes so naturally to the wonderful person you are.

Because, to me, celebrating my year would mean very little without everybody celebrating them as well.  You matter to me.....and I don't have to know your name :)  You are precious....and I don't have to know where you live.  Human life is so delicate, so quick, so magnificent.  We need to remember why we are here and it's not to make money.  Its not to suffer endlessly.  Its not to smoke ourselves to death.

Its to understand the brilliance of life.  To wonder at the breathtaking beauty of nature.  To take good care of ourselves and eachother.  Every day we live is final.  It will never come again.  I want to make each day the very best day ever.  And that means being kind, growing, learning, enjoying each moment.

So, if you would, celebrate on Wednesday.....celebrate your uniqueness!!  Celebrate your talents!!  Celebrate simply being you!!  Hula hoop, jump rope, eat cake for breakfast......come here and write about what a special, amazing person you are!!  Because you are :)  I'd like to hear about you.

Happy Monday, my friends!!