~~I can explain it to you but I can't understand it for you.~~ Unknown
As I come up on my one year quit anniversary (not until June 4th), I have been thinking about why I was able to stay quit this time when I "blew" all my other quits. The only thing I can say for sure is that when I said the words "I can't ever smoke again once I put them down", I really...finally.....understood what that meant.
We read all the time about quitting. Good advice, logical conclusions, brilliant wisdom. It all has always made sense to me. I would get excited over a phrase or a lovely quote and think "Wow, I've got it now"!
But in the back of my mind was the nagging doubt that I could do it forever. That little addicted piece of my brain that said "if it doesn't work, you can go back to smoking". It wasn't a conscious thought but it was there. How do I know that for sure? Because I went back to smoking.
This time when I decided it was time to quit, I truly understood that smoking was off the table. For good. Forever. Once I quit, I could never smoke again.....no matter what. Come hell or high water.
I lost a grandchild since I quit. A 46 year old friend passed away. I lost my job. Many changes. Much loss. But no thoughts of smoking.
I understand the words. Smoking is NOT an option and that means forever. I honor myself by honoring my commitment to my quit.
So for those who struggle, look beyond the words to the feelings....the understanding....quitting means never smoking again. Say that and really, really understand it. And also understand that I wish for you the very best that life has to offer. Joy. Love. Peace. You deserve it.
I hope this helps.
Hugs to all,