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Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Blog

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~~You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place.  Like you'll not only miss the people you love, but you;ll miss the person you are now at this time and this place.  Because you'll never be this way again.~~  Unknown

 

I get it.  The reluctance to quit smoking.  Not just the addiction part, which you KNOW is hard to let go of.  But the part of letting go of your life the way it is.  You are comfortable as a smoker.  Of course you don't want to get cancer or any dreaded illness from smoking (which is why you know you need to quit), but you have a comfortable life, a quiet routine, and like your life just the way it is.

 

Then we come in and tell you that you are about to change your whole world!!  Find new coping skills!!  Find new friends to hang out with for a while instead of your smoker friends....find a new morning routine that doesn't involve coffee and cigarettes...find a new route to work so you don't pass the gas station where you stopped for smokes each morning....find something to do after you clean house rather than light up....new, new, new.  Change, change, change.  Different, different, different.

 

It can be quite overwhelming.  Believe me, I know.  And we all know it needs to be done and we all know that there is no magic pill to get you there.  

 

And you try to explain to us that you like you just as you are.  You try to explain that change makes you uncomfortable.  You try to say that you don't understand why everything must be different because different doesn't always mean better.  

 

I like you as much as you like you.  Smoking is something you do, not who you are.  But what you may not see and I see clearly is that smoking takes over who you are!  You are as chained to your cigarettes as any addict is chained to their drug of choice.  That means you...who you are....fades into the background.  You are 'better' after a cigarette.  You are 'calmer' when you smoke.  You are 'more in control' after that hit of nicotine.  Do you see?  The cigarette...that six inch piece of paper stuffed with chemicals....plays a larger role in your life than you do.

 

So while its true when you quit smoking, you'll never be the same; it truly is not a bad thing to let go of.  Because you're not letting go of who you are, you are letting go of cigarettes and the hold they have over you.  Without them you really are free to be who you are!!  You can be goofy or silly or serious or gentle or caring.  All of the things you were before without stopping for a cigarette to 'relax' you.  You can now soar instead of thinking about flying.  You can take the time to mend fences, develop skills, fix what's broken.  Or you can just simply be who you are without a cigarette.

 

I tend to think we simply shine when we quit smoking.  Everything is brighter and better....including ourselves.  But you don't have to be or do anything you don't want to be or do.  You just have to not smoke.  Everything else will fall into place.

~~The soul becomes dyed with the color of it's thoughts.~~  Marcus Aurelius

 

I know you feel discouraged.  Worn out.  Fragile.  

I know you feel no one understands what's going on in your head, in your body, or in your world.

We keep saying "Just hold on" when you want to let go.  We keep saying "One step at a time" when you are on your knees crawling as you have no energy to walk.

 

It may feel like quitting is as isolating as smoking.  No one understands YOUR pain, YOUR feelings, YOUR fears.  No one hears what you're saying.  No one has really helped.

 

During those times especially, you need to turn inward.  Turn towards yourself for comfort, for strength, for courage.  Know yourself and understand that you have everything you need for a successful quit within you.  The rest of it...the readings, the websites, the supportive friends....is all extra bonuses.  Yet the true hero of your quit journey is you.

 

Now you may be so filled with fears and doubts and insecurities that you forget just what a brilliant soul you are.  But you have survived every bad time, every trauma, every crisis, every heartbreaking moment up to this point. And you haven't just survived; you've thrived, you've grown, you've shined.  Sometimes you've had companionship and support on your journeys, sometimes not.  But you've always had you.

 

So at the risk of sounding cheesy, allow yourself to take care of yourself.  If you need pampering, pamper yourself.  If you need to cry, allow yourself tears.  If you need to collapse into a heap on the floor, cushion yourself with pillows.  Because every time you take care of yourself, you win.  Every time you take your needs seriously, you flourish.  And every time you listen to your soul, you soar. 

 

We will be here, of course.  But when the computer is down and your family is asleep, you still have you.  And that should not be dismissed!  You have held yourself up for....how many years?  You are amazing even when 'weak'.  You are brave even when 'scared'.  You are brilliant always.  Your soul continues to shine enough to so you can see a light at the end of the tunnel.  Allow yourself to be led out of the darkness....by you.

~~It hurts because it matters.~~  John Green

 

I told my fifth graders good-bye tonight.  I accepted a job that makes it impossible for me to teach religious ed on Wednesday evenings.  It hurt.

 

I was told I was being 'self-righteous', 'judgmental', and 'defensive'.  It hurt.

 

It hurt because it matters.  Some think that by staying in the comfort zone of addiction, they can avoid the pain recovery can uncover.  Some think that if they hide behind a cloud of smoke, the hurt won't find them. 

 

It hurts because it matters.  Quitting matters.  Recovery matters.  It's going to hurt as you unravel the layers of smoking to become who you've always been meant to be.  Letting go can hurt.  Changing course can hurt.  Accepting can hurt.  It all matters because you matter!!  Your health, your emotions, your life.  You.  Matter.

 

Avoiding hurt is avoiding parts in your life that may enrich and enlighten you.  We don't grow as people in our comfort zone.  We don't learn when we hide from life.  Only through feeling pain can we truly bask in our joy.  Only in hurting can we revel in our contentment.  Because we've been in the darkness can we clearly see the light.

 

No, it's not a pleasant feeling.  And no, we do not want to wallow in our pain.  But we will survive it.  And we will grow from it.  And it will make us so much better than we ever thought we could be.  

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Fingerprints

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Jan 15, 2019

~~Our fingerprints never fade from the lives we touch.  Every life and every death changes the world in its own way.~~  Unknown

 

So many people here have changed the world in their own way.  You've touched lives, helped save lives, and are a source of comfort and strength to so many others! 

Because you know.  You know the overwhelming fears that come with the thoughts of quitting.  You know the sickening sense of failure when a quit doesn't last.  And you know the extreme feelings of bewilderment when everyone but you seems to 'get' it.  You also know the importance of owning your quit, taking smoking off the table, and honoring your commitment.  It is what keeps your quit.

Even more than that...you've seen the deaths that happen when you don't quit.  Here.  Our friends now gone.  The cancers and the emphysema, the COPD, and the heart disease.  I miss them, the ones who used to laugh with me and scold me and tell me that I could do it.  They left fingerprints, too.

When you come to a site like this, you open yourself up to all these people who have touched lives.  When you blog, when you share, and when you speak, so many are willing to listen, to advise, to support.  Because they care.  Now sometimes you aren't going to like what they have to say, but that doesn't make it any less true.  Sometimes you are going to read into a response something that wasn't meant to begin with.  The phrase "take what you want and leave the rest" means just that.  When you leave your fingerprints on the lives of those you touch, its your responsibility to decide what kind of impact you make.  It can be helpful, kind, and wise or it can be ugly, mean, and close minded. The choice is yours  

 

ps.  Love to you, Nancy!!  And the marvelous Jackie, too!!

 

Sheri

~~Sometimes, the people who have been through many storms often take the longest to find their path because their sensitivity is a double edged sword.  At their core lies great strength but they are more susceptible to life's pains.  Good thing the soul doesn't know a thing about deadlines.~~  Unknown

 

I often come here and write.  Most of the time I just want to help others quit smoking.  Still, sometimes it is my way of getting out all the feelings I can't express verbally to others in my life.  Other times, it's simple a release of emotion from something that caused me pain.  

 

This isn't the place for those kind of posts.  I know that.  I'm looking at other avenues...finding my place, so to speak, to just write.  I haven't yet found my path but I know I'm headed in the right direction  

 

I just wanted to let you know that no matter what I've been through...no matter if my heart was hurt or my feelings crushed or how lost I felt....I never felt like turning back to smoking to cope.  The answers to life will never be found hidden in addiction.  Hurts won't heal through addiction either. They will only be ignored for as long as the effects of that cigarette linger....until you need another to once again hide the pain.  The cycle is so subtle yet vicious that you never even realize it's got you until you see know way to function without it.

 

Smoking cures nothing, fixes nothing.  It traps you.  It stifles creativity and limits your potential.  Truly.  So you may feel 'relief' because of those few 'slips' but you may be fooling yourself (as addicts do).  Quitters don't smoke.  And you know what?  Quitters learn other coping skills until they finally reach a point where they don't want to smoke when things are bad.  

 

Ok, so I veered a bit off course here   I have chosen a career where bad things happen to children.  Where parents are often lost children who never outgrew their own abuse at the hands of others.  Where the system often adds to the problems rather than assists and supports.  I've been doing this for over 20 years.  And you would think I would have become hardened and cynical.  Maybe I am, I don't know.  But the pain of a child still has the power to break me.  So I write and I care and I do what I can.  I will find my way maybe through a change in how I work with families or maybe in the way I cope with working with these families.  I just know that this site is not my personal journaling ground   I need to find other avenues to release emotions.

 

I will, of course, still support and cheer on all the marvelous people who have found the courage to quit smoking!!  That is what we do here!  

~~Free yourself from the burden of a past you cannot change.~~  Dr. Steve Maraboli

 

So you quit a thousand times before.  And you 'failed' at them all.  And you may have even disappointed yourself, disappointed your family.  Maybe you hesitate now because you failed then.  Maybe you are too scared to try because you haven't been able to ever live without smoking.

 

The only thing that matters in life is now.  You can't go back and change things.  You actually shouldn't want to.  Everything you've done up to this moment is leading you to...well....this moment.  You've learned.  Not failed, my friend.  Just learned.

 

You learned that the pull of addiction is strong so YOU have to be stronger.  You've learned that you can't do this by yourself so you've found this site for support and guidance.  You've learned that you have some things to learn....about addiction, about stress relief, about you.

 

You may be afraid that cough means something bad like asthma, emphysema, or cancer.  You may hate the fact that you've smoked your way through life, damaging your body, damaging your relationships, damaging your credibility every time you didn't 'quit'.  

 

The only thing that matters in life is now.  You have to face that cough....that emphysema....that cancer.  Illness makes no time for lingering over regrets.  You need knowledge, a plan, and goals.  You need to be centered on now and all the things that now is bringing you.  Don't let pain or uncertainty from the past further damage your attempts to move on.

 

If you dwell in the 'could've', 'should've', you get mucked down in regret, feelings of failure, and self-loathing.  The past isn't something you can change but it is something you can learn from.  Let it go with love for all you were then and turn to what you are now.  Wiser, ready, able, experienced.  Everything you want can be had.  Everything you don't want can be let go of.  Release yourself from the burden of the past and thank it for teaching you what you needed to know to move on.  As a non-smoker.

~~Everyone deserves to have someone who makes them look forward to tomorrow.~~   Unknown

 

Just ask.  Ask for what you need.  Throw it out there in the world!  Amazing things begin to happen when you believe they can.

 

I know because I threw it out there.  I needed a reminder of how good the world can be.  Low and behold I got that reminder!!  I was outside my office talking to my neighbor and I looked across the street because someone was frantically waving at me.  I got closer and saw that it was a boy I worked with at the CAC whose mother had told him that Santa wasn't coming to their house.  That's not why the CAC got involved, of course.  This child and his two younger siblings had been violently abused.  Well, it's not my story to tell but this young man touched my heart.  We crossed paths again at the visitation center 6 months later and he is always delighted to see me, which just tickles me to no end!!  He is still in the system but he said he's happy and asked that I get some jelly beans for my office in case he stopped by again  

 

The resiliency of children is simply amazing.  And when loved, even the harshest of abuse can heal with time, therapy, and positive attention.  It's what I needed to remember today.  His smiling face, his hug, his joy with life brings lightness to my own heart.  And he has his forever family even though the system is not quite done yet.  His 'dad' makes him look forward to tomorrow and I couldn't be happier for both of them!!

 

So throw it out in the universe!!  You need a reminder of the goodness of people?  You need some positive attention?  You need a hug?  Don't keep what you need buried inside you.  Please let it out.  Because you will receive.  Maybe not from the one you want to receive from.  Maybe from some unexpected person or some surprisingly unusual way but what you need will be taken care of.  God answers.  Always.  And I am eternally grateful that he does!!

 

It is important especially as you quit smoking to voice what you need.  People are willing to help and people want to help but your voice has to be heard.  Everyone deserves to have someone make them look forward to tomorrow.  For right now, let us be that someone.

 

Sheri

~~Don't be upset at the result you didn't get with the work you didn't do.~~  Unknown

 

At first that sounds a bit harsh, doesn't it?  But in actuality, it is only a gentle reminder that we can't quit for you.  You will not quit by just reading posts.  They are only there to help.  You will not quit by making friends here.  Your friends are only support.  You will not even quit by pledging every day.  The Pledge page is there to reinforce your quit.

 

You have to not smoke each and every day of your quit.  You have to not go to the store.  You have to not bum one from a co-worker.  You have to not sneak one you hid the night before you quit.

 

You have to develop coping skills.  You have to learn to deal with stress.  You have to create new routines.  You have to stay busy.  You have to be proud of yourself.  You have to take good care of yourself.  You have to maintain your quit.

 

It's work.  Sometimes it's hard work and other times its empowering.  It can be maddening and it can be surprisingly soft.  You may hate it and you yet will never regret it.


Most of all, you need to remember it's yours.  To do with what you will.  Mold it, create it, develop it, own it.  It's yours.  And you alone are responsible for it.  Some say that's a scary thought.  I think it's a freeing thought.  No one can mess with it and no one can blow it.  Only you.

 

So if you slip, if you relapse, please don't be surprised if you haven't worked it.  You won't find it here no matter how fabulous here is   Your quit is within you.  Totally and 100%.  Gain the knowledge, make your plan, and work your quit.  

 

Let me please add that I believe it is in each and every one of us to successfully quit!!  There is more strength and power and courage hidden behind your addiction that you will ever realize.  Allow all that to come out!  It may not come out roaring, but it will help you limp through another day if limping is the only way through for you.  Believe in yourself as much as I believe in you

 

Lastly and on a more personal note, classes start tomorrow so I will be bringing ABE and GED classes back to the jail!  And religious ed classes at church in the evening.  That means you may not be seeing much of me again.  You don't need me to succeed but know I'll be cheering for you anyway!!

 

Sheri

~~Life is a gift!  Today before you think of saying an unkind word, think of someone who can't speak.  Before you complain about the taste of your food, think of someone who has nothing to eat.  Before you complain about your husband or wife, think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion.  Today before you complain about life, think of someone who went to early to heaven.  Before you complain about your children, think of someone who desires children but can't have them.  Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn't clean or sweep, thing of the people who are living in the streets.  Before whining about the distance you drive, think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet. And when you are tired and complain about your job, think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wished they had your job.  But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another, remember than not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one maker.  And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down, put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still around.  Life is a gift, live it, enjoy it, celebrate it.~~  Unknown

 

Sounds good, doesn't it?  But when you are in the midst of a crisis....when you are stressed to the max....when your heart is shattered into a million pieces.....this just won't fly.  Nice words, of course, and yes it would be wonderful to remember how blessed we are.  But we are also excruciatingly human!  We lose sight of the blessings.  We wallow in our pain.  We hide from the uncomfortable.

Or at least, I did.  Still do, sometimes.  But most of all, I learn.  I learn that I can get through even the toughest times because truly there is nothing else to do but to get through.  I also learn that it is HOW I get through that makes all the difference in the end.  I can cry, scream, refuse to get out of bed, shout at people.....OR I can wait it out, ask for help, breathe quietly through it until I'm on the other side.

Quitting smoking is a process that brings out the human in us.  Addiction is just that way.  It's how we get through that process that makes all the difference.  It doesn't matter if you whine, cry, scream, or get ugly at people as long as you don't smoke.  It doesn't matter if you are Mary Sunshine, Mother Theresa, or Buddha either.  As long as you don't smoke.  You simply have to get through the process without smoking!!  Yes, they say that relapse is part of recovery.  Yes, they say that there may be 'slips'.  There doesn't have to be, of course, but again that's up to you.  It's how you get through the process of quitting that gets you through to the other end....and the other is end total and utter freedom from addiction  

Life can be hard for us humans.  Some events are earth shattering and everything we once thought can be changed in a heartbeat.  We need time.  Time to process, time to adjust, time to heal.  Please don't ever think that you need to smile through life.  You don't.  You just need to be here.  Excruciatingly human and perfectly imperfect.  Time will take care of the rest.

 

Sheri 

~~Nobody is superior, nobody is inferior, but nobody is equal either.  People are simply unique, incomparable.  You are you, I am I.  I have to discover my own being; you have to discover your own...~~  Unknown

 

If you read enough posts here by different quitters, you will find a variety of tips, tricks, wisdom, and suggestions.  You will also find success stories, stories of miracles, and heroics so amazing that it will make you tear up.  But nothing you read will quit for you and you won't find the perfect prescription for an easy quit.

My quit is my quit and it worked well for me.  But I can tell you that it won't work as well for you.  Not because you are 'less than'....not at all!!!  Not because you can't quit...of course you can!!!!  Not even because you aren't trying hard enough or want it enough.  Not true at all!!!

But my quit was tailor made for me.  It fit me perfectly!!  And those uncomfortable times during the early days of my quit were made more comfortable by me.  My wants.  My needs.  My talents.  My interests.

Believe it or not, your quit will be tailor made for you as well   It will fit you to a tee!!  Because it will be all about your wants, your needs, your talents, and your interests.  Quits, you see, are as unique and incomparable as people are.  What works for me will not necessarily work for you and what works for you may not work for the next person.

So when you say things like "quitting is so hard!", please remember you are saying that about YOUR quit.  When you say "I want to scream at those cheery, happy quitters who are too positive", please remember that they may truly have positive experiences about their quits and it has nothing to do with your quit.

Keep your quit about you.  Your feelings, your struggles, your experiences.  Allow others to have their own feelings, struggles, and experiences.  Because every quit is a unique challenge unto the quitter experiencing it and we don't want to in any way diminish their quits.  And also because it isn't about you....as your quit should totally reflect!

You are a quit waiting to happen, you know.  You'll find it within and when you do, you'll thrill yourself with the adventure of it all!  Hard times?  Probably.  We all have them.  Happy times?  Ditto.  But mixed in with all that will be something beautifully unique that will make your quit truly fit you.  Just as it should.  Then, my friend, you will be free.  

~~Wounds don't heal the way you want them to, they heal the way they need to.  It takes time for wounds to fade to scars.  It takes time for the process of healing to take place.  Give yourself that time.  Give yourself that grace.  Be gentle with your wounds.  Be gentle with your heart.  You deserve to heal.~~  Dele Olanubi

 

I have a few minutes between visits so I thought I would pop in and wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.  I have not done any Christmas shopping yet and no baking so I don't know that I'll be able to be here again before the holidays.  Please know you all are in my heart and will be on my mind during Christmas.  Those I know, those who helped me save myself, and those who I have yet to meet here, you all mean a great deal to me!   We have a shared bond, a common goal.  To quit and pass on our knowledge to the next in line.

I was a horrible quitter for the longest time.  Really, I just sucked at it.  I wasn't focused on what quitting truly meant and I was in the 'victim' mentality in my life so the world looked big and scary and I didn't move at all.  At one time I would have called myself pathetic but now I know that my wounds had to heal their way in order for me to heal as well.  Once they did...and once I did...I was able to move forward and understand what I needed to do to quit.

Regardless of how healthy you think you are mentally, emotionally, physically....once you quit smoking, you need to allow yourself time to heal.  Addiction is truly a wound.  Trying to ignore that wound or trying to force healing so that you can 'just get on with it' will only irritate it and make it harder to heal.

Give yourself that time you need to heal.  Don't rush through it because it won't work.  Give yourself that grace you need to heal well and whole.  Be gentle with you.  Because your life is new and may be scary as a non-smoker.  You will need time to figure out how to handle all the new sensations (like anger, stress, excitement).  You may need time to cry, scream, and get rid of all that negative junk you've stored up while smoking your cares away.  

But never doubt you can do it.  Never doubt that you deserve it!  And never doubt that with time, you will heal.

Thank you, Giulia, for being the first to just notice me here.  Merry Christmas to you and may you be gifted with peace for yourself over the coming year.  Thank you, Sootie, for your humor, your wisdom, and your warmth.  May you be blessed with the humor, wisdom, and warmth of those you love over the upcoming year.  jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007Youngatheart.7.4.12, Marilyn.H.July.14.14., Thomas3.20.2010, Daniela-3-11-2016, Strudel, JACKIE1-25-15, Mandolinrain  and so many more who have graced this site with inspiration, motivation, and their own unique sparkle, Merry Christmas and may you enjoy happiness and love this holiday season.

And for those who believe they are struggling with their quits.....allow yourself to heal the way you need to, not as everyone else has done before you.  Trust that you can and have faith that you will.  Merry Christmas!!!

 

ps.  I know I have left out names like my Tommy, Bonnie, Virginia, Diane Joy, and others.  I love you all!!!  God Bless and Merry Christmas!!

 

Sheri

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Simplicity

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Dec 20, 2018

~~Fear brings failure, faith bring success.  It's just that simple.~~  Ernest Holmes

 

There is a hundred different ways to encourage people to quit smoking.  There are a million different activities you can do instead of smoking.  And there is, most of all, a billion different lies to tell yourself to keep yourself chained to cigarettes.

Quitting is most easiest done when you keep it simple.  Can I tell you a story?

I teach religious education to 5th graders on Wednesday evenings. I was with them last night.  It was supposed to be our Christmas party but my class always opens with talking to God.  Not formal prayer but simply "Hi, God, this is.....and I wanted to tell you....".  )This is my way of reminding my kids that God is not only at church but with them every moment of every day, supporting, encouraging, helping.)  Anyway, last night they reminded me that we hadn't talked to Him the week before so they really wanted to start with their talk.  A boy we'll call Mark (not his real name) started with "Hi, God, it's me.  I wanted to ask you again to help my family..." he began crying but continued his conversation with God about the trouble in his home.  And he continued sobbing and explaining to God what he needed God to do until he was sure God understood.  He ended with "Ok, God, thank you for listening."  Then another boy who had already talked with God raised his hand and asked if he could say something else to God.  He said, "Hi, God, me again.  I just wanted to let you know that Mark is a real good guy so please help him out with that.  Thank you."

Simple faith.  Neither boy questioned whether or not God heard them.  Neither boy questioned whether or not God would or could or should help them.  They simply gave it up to Him.  And I could have intervened and told the boys that God may not answer in the way they wanted Him to.  I could have gently explained that life gives us trials and tribulations we must go through.  But I didn't.  I wouldn't.  They trusted in God and they had faith He heard them.  And I know with certainty that God is with my boys.

Simple faith moves mountains.  Simple faith wins wars.  So I won't give you long explanations of how to quit or what to do instead of smoking or how addiction lies to keep you hooked.

I will simply say have faith.  You can quit.  Don't worry so much, don't over plan, don't look for ways out.  Just have faith you can do it.  The rest will come.

 

Sheri 

`~Go now and live.  Experience.  Dream.  Risk. Close your eyes and jump.  Enjoy the freefall.  Choose exhilaration over comfort.  Choose magic over predictability.  Choose potential over safety.  Wake up to the magic of everyday life.  Make friends with your intuition.  Trust your gut.  Discover the beauty of uncertainty.  Know yourself fully before you make promises to another.  Make millions of mistakes so that you will know how to choose what you really need.  Know when to hold on and when to let go.  Love hard and often and without reservation.  Seek knowledge.  Open yourself to possibility.  Keep your heart open, your head high, and your spirit free.  Be wrong every once in awhile and don't be afraid to admit it.  Awaken to the brilliance in ordinary moments.  Tell the truth about yourself no matter what the cost.  Own your reality without apology.  See goodness in the world.  Be bold.  Be fierce.  Be grateful.  Be wild, crazy, and gloriously free.  Be you.  Go now and live.~~  Jeannette leblanc, 2008

 

I could tell you stories of courageous survivors.  I could tell you stories of horrendous loss.  Brave souls.  Amazing grace.  I've seen it all.  And I hope I have shown some of these qualities in my own life as well.

But being here, now?  It isn't about the stories of my friends, my students, my clients, or even me.  This is for you.  For the one here who is teetering on the brink of relapse.  The one here who is only wondering about quitting and not ready to commit.  The one here who is starting over at day 1 for the umpteenth time.  

If you are that one, this is for you.  Life is waiting for you.  Seriously.  Just on the other side of addiction, which messes with your head and tells you that you can't....you can't quit, you can't last, you can't survive. 

All lies.  I promise you that.  All lies.

You can quit.  You can last.  You can survive.  Not because I have done it or Dale has done it or Giulia has done it.  But because of you.  Only you and the choices you make.

Choose to move past the lies of addiction.  Choose to live.  Choose to hang tough instead of giving up.  Choose life over a preventable death.  

And by choosing, you break free of the thoughts that addiction dictates.  No more "I can't".  Instead it will be "I choose".  

Then life with embrace you with joy and freedom and all the things addiction keeps at bay.  All those things you read in the above quote...all the things you have avoided by smoking...all the things that have faded as addiction grew stronger.  

So this is for you today.  I wanted to give you glimpses of how things can be once you choose to let go of addiction.  You get to choose, you know.  To believe in yourself or in the lies of addiction.  I can't quit for you but I can remind you that you don't need anyone to do it for you.  Because you can do it for yourself

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Surrendering

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Dec 8, 2018

~~You are being called to heal yourself, not to agonize over your mistakes.  Quit overthinking; this is what surrendering really means.  Don't focus on your problems and don't obsess about 'fixing' things.  Avoid forcing 'positive thinking'.  These thoughts can be psychological irritants.  Just leave yourself alone!  When you pick at things, they never heal.  Simply relax and give yourself some time.~~  Bryant McGill

 

Healing.  I just think its the best word ever, especially when it comes to quitting smoking.  Our bodies will begin to heal.  Our minds will begin to heal.  Our lives will begin to heal.  All the damage over the years will fade into scars and all the time wasted will drift into the past where it belongs.  

So as you progress in your quit, please allow yourself time to heal.  Don't try to fix those passing thoughts of smoking and don't try to focus on those cravings that jump at you from nowhere.  Don't try to force positive thoughts into your tired brain.  Don't try to pick at your quit.

Surrender.  Simply surrender into "this is my life at this moment".  Cravings will come and go.  Emotions such as sadness and anxiety may also show up.  Your mind may try to grasp at the thoughts of smoking like it used to.  It's ok.  It's ok to think, to feel, to allow yourself to simply be.

Because time has a way of healing in ways we can't see.  Time can heal in ways we don't notice.  And one day you may be shocked to realize that you haven't thought about smoking in a while.  One day your body may feel....better.  One day you may smile for no reason.

Surrendering means that you stop forcing change and allow change to happen naturally.  It means accepting the uncomfortable knowing that it will ease.  It means allowing healing to happen even when you can't feel the benefits right away.  Surrendering means accepting how things are as they are rather than trying to force them to be different.

Simply relax and give yourself some time to heal.  Surrender to your quit.

 

Sheri

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Just Stand Up

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Dec 2, 2018

~~The worst thing is watching someone drown and not being able to convince them that they can save themselves just by standing up.~~  Unknown

 

That's what we try to do, you know.  Those of us who have been there.  Those of us who used to believe everything you are believing right now.....the lies of addiction.  "I can't", "Now is not the best time", "I will as soon as I find a new job or get married or heal or am less stressed".  

 

We tell you that recovery delivers everything addiction promises...healing, freedom, relief, joy.  But when you hear us with the ears of an addict, you may hear only that others are successful while you remain stuck.  When you read with the eyes of an addict, you may only see that other people have something you can't achieve.  

 

Please just stand up.  Addiction only has the power you give it.  Don't feed it.  Don't fear it.  Understand it instead.  Accept it.  And then move past it, leaving it behind where it needs to be.  You have that power.  Just stand up.