Skip navigation
All People > Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 > Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Blog
1 2 3 Previous Next

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Blog

641 posts

~~Wisdom doesn't lie.~~  Unknown

 

But addiction does.  It lies all the time about everything.  "You can't live without me"...."You can't get through the day without me"...."Your stress will get out of control without me"....."Your life will be nothing without me"...."You will be nothing without me".

 

Wisdom doesn't lie.  Life goes on regardless of whether you smoke or not.  Life goes on while you battle your addiction demons.  Life goes on while you struggle to find life beyond smoking.  Life goes on...period.

 

I didn't want to waste time battling my addiction.  I didn't want to spend my early quit days thinking about smoking...ways to not smoke....reasons to remain quit....feeling like I couldn't do it....wondering why I had so much trouble with quitting....making smoking still the biggest thing in my life even after I stopped smoking.

 

I think that's why they say that you may not have an active addiction but the behaviors also have to stop in order to be in recovery.  If you aren't smoking but every waking thought seems to be leading you down the relapse road, you need to re-evaluate your quit.  If you aren't smoking but you feel SOOOO much stress and anxiety and depression and you have in your mind that smoking would relieve all this, you need to think about what you are doing to yourself.

 

When you close the door on smoking, you need to lock it.  You need to not look back.  You need to bring in other thoughts, other behaviors, other actions.  Because wisdom says "You don't smoke anymore".  So why linger in your addictive thoughts?  Wisdom says "Find coping skills that enhance your life, not distract from life".  So move on.  How will you cope with stress now?  Find ways.  How will you get through that morning drive?  Find ways.  How will you move through your days?  Find out.  Because addictive thoughts will lie and you will spend your life as a serial quitter if you refuse to be wise about your quit.

 

We can support and we do.  We can advise and we do.  We can inform and we do.  We can't quit for you.  We can't make it easier for you if you have in your mind and your heart to keep those addictive thoughts active.  It's up to you to be wise about your quit.

 

Wisdom says that life is so short.  Don't waste it by keeping your addiction alive and well.  Close the door, lock it, and don't look back.  Create the life you were always meant to live. 

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

We Know

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Jan 19, 2020

~~Surely, in the light of history, it is more intelligent to hope rather than to fear, to try rather than not to try.  For one thing we know beyond all doubt:  Nothing has ever been achieved by the person who says, "It can't be done."~~  Unknown

 

Truthfully, everyone in the world knows how to quit smoking.  Just don't smoke, right?  That's the only way to quit.  It's simple.  It's effective.  It works every time.

 

So why?  Why aren't more people quitting? Why do people come here and say "I don't know what to do!"  Why are there relapses and serial quitters and tears and struggles and frustration and fears?

 

Because life can be hard.  It's messy.  It's emotional.  It changes.  And humans?  Well, humans don't like messy.  Humans don't like hard.  Humans don't like change.

 

So we get addicted to things and substances and events that allow us to forget the pain....to avoid the messiness....to hide from our emotions.  And it works. It works so well that we grow our addiction with an ease that makes addiction appear normal. 

 

Backwards when you think about it, but it is what it is.  So we hide, we avoid, we forget.  And we like our addiction.  We tell ourselves that it 'relaxes' us....it is our 'best friend'.....it 'makes it ok for a little while'.

 

And when we are told that we are killing ourselves, we try to quit.  And by 'try', we dabble at it.  We stop for a while.  We buy patches and gum and lozenges.  But nothing works!!  We then cry and whine and wait for a miracle.  We want someone to fix it by telling us how to do it without struggles or uncomfortable feelings or stress-filled days.

 

Life is short, my friends.  Truly.  In a moment, your whole life can change.  That diagnosis that says you don't have much time.  That illness that never gets better.  That life changing moment that can't be avoided, forgotten, or hidden.  It's there.

 

Then you wish for one more chance to make things different.  One more day to change.  You want it all back to do over.

 

And it comes back to this.  Quitting only means you can't smoke.  That's all.  You're not being asked to make the world a better place and you're not being asked to cure cancers and you're not being asked to fly to the moon.  Just don't smoke.  The battle isn't in not smoking...it's in living.  How do you live with stress?  How do you live with anger?  How do you live without addiction? 

 

Those things....the living things....are what you need to focus on, not the smoking.  What are you going to do when you feel like screaming?  What things in life make you feel better?  What are your talents, your passions, your skills?  Find them and fill your life with them.  As for smoking?  Just don't.

~~Be proud of who you are, not ashamed of how someone else sees you.~~  livelifehappy.com

 

It's ok to be you....whomever you are.  Happy?  Ok.  Depressed?  Ok.  Shy?  Lack confidence?  Grumpy?  Sour?  Joyful?  Silly?  Anxious?

 

Just be who you are, please.  And feel what you feel.  And don't apologize for it.  Because we ALL have been there at sometime...somewhere in our life.  We don't want to see you smiling if your heart is breaking.  We don't want you being Mary Sunshine if you feel more like The Grinch. 

 

Sometimes I think social media puts expectations on us that we just go along with...but sometimes I think we gravitate towards the perky and happy and confident and strong.  And you know what?  All those things are ok, too.  Those who are happy should no more temper themselves than those who are broken.  Those who are confident should no more shrink than those who are nervous should hide it.

 

I assumed that we are all honest here about who we are and what we are feeling.  Maybe I was wrong.  It hurts my heart to think that just because I'm in a good place in my life that someone would hide their 'not in a good place' from me.  Don't you know that I just like you as you are????  Don't you know that whatever you are feeling, I'm interested in hearing???  Don't you know that it's ok to not be ok or to be fabulous or to not know how you're feeling at all???

 

And let me add that smoking or not smoking, you deserve to be here.  You deserve to be heard.  You deserve to be supported.  And we do, I believe.  I think we are stupendous at supporting!!  I think we are immensely understanding and tremendously patient and most of all.….we get it.  We do.  Because life isn't always rainbows and glitter.  Life isn't always smooth and calm.  And we tend to make our share of mistakes.  We blooper.  We respond wrong. We err. 

 

We are all human.  Be who you are and never hesitate to share the real you.  No shame.  No embarrassment.  No fear.  We're here for you.   Regardless of where you are in your quit or what you're going through, we are here. 

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Maybe Today

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Jan 12, 2020

~~This is a wonderful day.  I've never seen this one before.~~ Maya Angelou

 

So how about just being in the moment today?  Maybe you can stop wishing for 'better days'.  Maybe you can stop wishing for your quit to be easier or your job to be more challenging or your family to recognize your worth.  Maybe you can stop wishing to be perfect or older or prettier or wittier. 

 

Maybe you can just be here.  In this day.  Feeling the sun on your face or feeling the cold on your nose or the warmth of your fireplace.  Maybe you can look in the mirror and just like what you see.  Maybe you can honor your commitment not to smoke and just not be overwhelmed today. 

 

And maybe if you're stressed, you can focus on your breathing for a while and find yourself relaxing.  Maybe you can believe that things are how they are and that's ok, just for today.  Maybe you can find some adventure or give a little of yourself or even just melt into your couch and settle in for the day.

 

Maybe you can make a memory.  Maybe you can feel the magic.  Maybe you can catch a glimpse of 'this is ok'. 

 

Today will never come again.  This day....Sunday, 1/12/2020....only happens once in a lifetime.  Be here.  Enjoy it.  Feel it.  Without wishing for something different or remembering how it used to be.  And if you're in a bad place in your life....if things are hard or your heart is broken or you can't seem to forgive.....come back to you.  Be gentle with yourself.  Treat yourself kindly.  Know your own worth.  Find yourself in today. 

 

Maybe, in your loneliness, you will be your own best friend for today.  Maybe in your depression, you will nurture your being for today.  Maybe in your anxiety, you will create peace around you for today.  Maybe today will be the day that you learn to love yourself. 

 

Maybe you will make today count.

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Give It a Wink

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Jan 10, 2020

~~A strong woman looks a challenge dead in the eye and gives it a wink.~~  Gina Carey

 

Quitting most definitely is a challenge.  You can fear it, if you choose to.  You can dread it....you can resent it......or.....

 

You can give it a wink.  Because you've got this.  You understand that smoking is an addiction, not a joy.  You get that there is nothing to fear.  You recognize how very much you have to gain.  And you're going into your quit with confidence and courage and strength and knowledge.

 

You welcome the challenge and you rise to the occasion.  Cravings?  You acknowledge them for what they are.....a continuation of your quit.  Stressed?  You know that life itself can be stressful so you use positive coping skills to combat it.  Anxious?  You learn to breathe through it.  Depressed?  You allow it but never wallow in it.

 

Life is a journey...quitting is only part of the adventure.  There is so much more on the other side.  And you are looking forward to trip   So you will get on with it.  Because you have so much more to experience!!  So much  more that you want to accomplish!!  And it all will be so much more when you break that cycle of addiction.

 

So you wink.  You're ready.  And it's time.  

~~Today I want you to ask yourself this one question.  "Why not you?"  Why not you to do something for work that you love?  Why not you to have a healthy body?  Why not you to have healthy love?  Why not you to be, have, or do anything you have ever dreamed?!  We are so quick to think others are deserving over ourselves.  The truth is that we are all deserving so why not you?! ~~  Jillian Michaels

 

Ok, I'll admit it.  I used to be jealous of the Dales and the Giulias and the Sooties on this site....they quit and seemed so settled into their quits that you could tell they wouldn't smoke again.  I wasn't like that.  I battled my addiction like a dog with a bone....I held on to the struggle, not the quit.  So why could they do it????  How did they do it????  And why couldn't I????

There was the answer in those same three words.....why couldn't I?  But instead of saying them with a negative, dejected, defeatist point of view, I simply had to say those same words in a different way....a positive, hopeful kind of way.  Why couldn't I?  Why couldn't I have what they had?  Why couldn't I enjoy the freedom of quitting?  Why couldn't I do what others do each and every day...quit smoking.

There was no reason I couldn't.  I wasn't doomed to my addiction for all eternity.  I wasn't any less than.  I wasn't weaker or more fragile or unable.  Quite the opposite, in fact   I was strong, capable, intelligent, and able.

And so are you, my smoking friend.  So are you.

Allow your inner warrior to take over.  Allow your courage to break free.  Allow your strength to hold you up.  Allow your intelligence to guide you.  And in all of that, know that you can.  Squash that little addict voice in you that doubts.  Push aside those nagging little hesitancies.  Ignore the fear that's trying to slow you down.  Fear is temporary while regrets are forever. 

Instead, hold on to that spark of hope that you can, indeed, quit.  Turn towards that light at the end of the tunnel and let it slowly warm you as you move forward.  Every day, every hour, every minute that you don't smoke you've gained freedom.  It's not a battle, it's simply a journey.  Stormy at times but life itself gets stormy and we don't quit that now, do we?  We get through it by getting through it.

Ultimately, why not you?  There is no reason other than your addiction trying to stop you.  Don't let it.  Recognize what it is and then gently leave it in the past as you move forward.  No need to battle it.  No need to fear it.  No need to hate it.  It simply isn't who you are any more.  Don't give it power.  Don't give it life.  Accept that quitting brings addiction and freedom together for a brief time before one dies out while the other flourishes on.  You get to decide which does what

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Yes, You

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Jan 1, 2020

~~Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world.~~ John Milton

 

10 years on this site...off and on.  10 years of meeting quitters and hearing remarkable stories of courage.  10 years of creating my forever quit through the information, the support, the kindness on EX.  I'm only 6 1/2 years into my quit because it took me awhile to truly figure things out in my own mind.  But my quit was here all the time...waiting for me to realize it.

 

I am grateful for the people here.  The stories they've shared, the wisdom they offered, the grace in which they live.  Oh, my gosh, I'm grateful!!  They never gave up on me...I've never seen them give up on any of us...and they were patient, kind, and so generous with their time.

 

I am grateful for this site.  The way it used to be because it allowed me to find forever friends and make precious memories.  The way it is now because it challenges me and allows me to develop new skills and different ways of doing things.  The information that is spot on and the professional assistance that makes a difference in any quit.

 

I'm grateful that my quit started here with these phenomenal people and this amazing site.  The only thing missing was....me.  And when I took the time away from social media and even real world drama, I found that my quit was only going to happen when I took it, grew it, and owned it.  It was mine...and it still is.  I can protect it, I can keep it....or I can give it away.  Always a choice that starts and ends with me.  And I will own it always.

 

So I'm grateful.  And I'm honored that others share their remarkable lives here with us.  And I'm humbled by the kindness I see, the courage I witness, and the tremendous power of love that is shared.  You...all of you...have changed me forever in the best possible ways.  You have made a difference in my life and even when I'm away from the site, I keep with me the sweetness of Marilyn's posts...the warmth of Colleen's comments....the humor of Dale's stories.  I don't need to be here to feel the way you care.  But it's wonderful to know that there is a place for me.

 

Gratitude has not only opened my eyes but it's opened my world.  It's allowed me to feel more and be more.  And the best part of me....the addiction free, nonsmoking me...started right here about 10 years ago.  So I'm grateful.

~~She sits alone hurting in the dark.  Not ready to reach for the candle I offer, blowing it out.  I sit down next to her and wait.  We'll light the candle together when she's ready.  For now, I'll trust in the darkness for us both and sit quietly beside her-letting her know she's not alone.  Letting her know that darkness is ok.  Letting her know that I'm there waiting with a candle.~~  Unknown

 

Holidays are hard for some people. They may be alone or they may be struggling financially or they may even feel too depressed too celebrate anything.

 

 Quitting smoking is hard for some people.  They may be fearful of quitting or they may be uncertain of their own abilities or they may even feel too depressed or anxious to quit.

 

Life itself is hard for some people.  They may feel unloved or they may think they're unworthy of good things or they may even feel too depressed to feel anything at all.

 

That's why support sites, I think, are important.  That's why elders are important.  And that's why humans themselves are important.  We are the ones with the understanding of what it feels like to....fear quitting....to feel unloved...to be uncertain....to suffer depression...to struggle.  We know.  And in that knowledge grows wisdom and courage and empathy so that the next need not feel so alone.  Or forgotten.  Or scared.

 

We can't fix others.  We can't quit for them.  We can't even make the bad times disappear.  But we can be with them.  Just be with.  To hold space for them...meaning that we are willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they are on without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome.  We instead open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgment and control. 

 

We've been there, most of us.  And in going through it ourselves, some want to help the next in line.  Here on the EX site, there are many who are here every day offering support, encouragement, and knowledge.  Others pray.  Some offer laughter and lightness.  Some offer the healing of music and art.

 

Thank you to those people who stay.  Thank you to those who reach out even to one.  Thank you to those who document their own journeys to make it easier on the next.  Thank you to those who share personal stories.  Thank you to each heart which has hurt for someone else. 

 

And to those who may feel unloved...forgotten...unworthy...lost...alone, you aren't any of those things.  For where you are isn't who you are.  I have a candle...and so do others.   We will sit and wait with you in your darkness until you're ready for the  light. 

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Your Vision

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Dec 24, 2019

~~A lot of things broke my heart, but fixed my vision.~~  Unknown

 

Quitting can feel like that, you know.  Like your heart is breaking for reasons you can't even explain.  Like nothing will ever be 'normal' again.  Like you have lost something that cannot be replaced.

Right or wrong, good or bad, that may be how you feel.  And that's ok.  You are not losing your mind and you are not being 'wrong'.  Quitting smoking is a life changing process that brings a whirlwind of emotions, thoughts, and ideas.  Some will help you.  Some will keep you down.  Some will make you waiver.

But, if you hold on, you find to your surprise that you've done something good.  Something that makes you feel a bit better.  Your vision is being fixed.  Because more and more you are beginning to take pride in your quit.  You recognize that smoking has done nothing good for you.  That smoking only masked the stressors of life, it didn't fix them.

And as your vision clears, you find enjoyment in what you see.  Healthier skin, brighter eyes.  More energy.  You will understand with sudden clarity that smoking was just an addiction.  Not your friend.  Not an ally.  Not your ability to cope with life.  Just an addiction that kept you tied to a 6 inch tube of paper, chemicals, posions, and nicotine.

And your heart?  It wasn't really broken at all.  Just bruised by all the changes.  Just torn between addiction and health.  Just afraid.

Use that beautiful vision and see a life free of huddling in the snow and rain to smoke....digging in your purse to find that last pack....seeing your loved ones turn away in disappointment as you light up.

I hope you see all you're gaining rather than what you've lost...because you're losing absolutely nothing good when you quit.

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

I Hope You Stay

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Dec 22, 2019

~~Cultivate a place of comfort, peace & safety.  One that allows you to be free of worries, stresses & fears.  A place where you can be yourself.  Your happy place.~~ www.one-inspired-life.com

 

Welcome to EX   A place to find information about quitting.  A place to find support when you quit.  A place to find encouragement, wisdom, knowledge.  And so very, very much more....

 

EX is filled with inspirational people.  Those who have gone through hell and now carry buckets of water for others.  Those who know the struggle and are willing to help you carry your load.  Those who offer comfort and understanding.  Those who challenge you and those who accept you and those who remind you that you deserve the very best life has to offer.

 

Ex is also filled with motivation....fun....words that touch your heart and make you smile.  Sharing.  Caring.  Helping. 

 

I hope you settle in here and find that it's your happy place.  A place where you can be yourself, whomever that may be.  A place where you feel accepted and welcomed.  A place where you feel at home. 

 

Because you belong.  We've been waiting for you and we welcome you with open arms.  We know what it's like to fear quitting smoking.  We know what it's like to lose a quit.  We know what it's like to not want to quit even though we all know we should.  And....most of all....we know what it's like on the other side.  The relief.  The freedom.  The joy.  The triumph. 

 

So welcome to EX.  I hope you like it here.  I hope you stay.  I hope you know we here for you.  To support.  To encourage.  To guide.  To walk with you.  To remind you that you can indeed quit smoking. 

 

I hope you stay.

~~I define connection as the energy between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when the derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.~~  Brene Brown

 

 

We had our annual Christmas party at church on Wednesday evening and one of my fifth graders brought me a present.  She was so excited and when we got into class, she asked that I open it in front of everyone.  This wonderful child searched her home for items that wouldn't be missed by her family but that she thought I would love.....and so I did.  I love that she took the time to decorate a brown paper bag.  I love that she thought I was 'fun' and would like toys.  I love that she thought of me and I so love that she was proud of herself for finding me a present!

 

Life is simply full of these moments of connection, aren't they?  Where you suddenly know you are valued.  Where you feel accepted just as you are.  Where there is pure enjoyment...no judgment...just a welcome connection.

 

I love my students and the trust they put in me..the moments we share when they have questions or they gain an understanding of what I'm teaching.  I love my clients and those moments we share when they finally get it that I care.  I love just seeing my son enjoy his son.  Or friends laughing over lunch.  Or a stranger's smile.  

 

So very many perfect moments of connections.  Do you notice?  Do you recognize your own importance in someone else's life?  Do you understand that people need your unique way of making them feel connected?  Oh, my goodness how very important you are!!  How very much you matter in the world!!  How splendid your smile is to someone who is otherwise ignored.  How gentle your touch is to someone who has been hurt.  How magnificent your heart is to someone who loves you.

 

Don't waste it.  Don't waste your heart or your compassion or your brilliance on smoking.  It's a dead end street...empty, dark, and limiting.  Open yourself up to wonderful connections...to phenomenal people...to sheer joyful moments with those who love you.  Addiction....ALL addiction....robs us of connections as we always run back to getting that 'fix'.  Even a cigarette.   Addiction chains us to a substance that keeps us from fully enjoying life.

 

Look around you and see that the world is full of connections.  You are needed, you are wanted, you are accepted and loved.  Immerse yourself in them, revel in them, and open your heart to them.  And know that this is why we are here on earth....to connect with each other and bring love to life. 

~~Something I have learned is that you just don't know how anything is ever going to really go.  And you are going to hurt hard on some days.  You will experience loss and tragedy and rejection.  Nothing can protect you from that.  Not money.  Not power.  Not even love.  But you will also experience beauty and healing and surprises that soften the walls around your heart.  They won't always make the painful moments feel worthwhile.  But sometimes they will.  And that's something we all deserve to experience.  That feeling of growing flowers where there used to be just wasteland.~~  S.C. Lourie

 

I marvel at people.  The tenacity that makes us get back up after life knocks us to our knees.  The graceful rise after a crashing fall.  And even the day to day routine that is made precious by all life's miracles we take time to stop and appreciate.

We try.  We retreat.  We wait.  We crumble.  But we take that next breath and that next step and we hope for comfort...for relief...for a miracle.

When we quit smoking, all the loss we experience...and the tragedy and the rejection....are felt without the crutch of addiction.  Please remember that smoking doesn't in fact make life better, but it does mask our pain through the chemical reactions of addiction to the brain.  The hurt is still there and will reappear once the cigarette is stubbed out, but for a few moments in time the pain is faded while we instead poison our lungs and heart and bodies.

We hurt hard on some days.  And there is really nothing else to do but to feel that hurt.  Don't fight it, don't hide from it, don't minimize it.  Just feel it, nurture it, walk with it.  Sounds funny, I know, but that hurt needs us to be there.  And on those days that we experience beauty and healing and surprises that soften the walls around our hearts, we need to feel that, too.  That feeling of growing flowers where there used to be just wasteland.  Those feelings like peace....like serenity...like contentment...even joy.

I marvel at people.  Those who hurt but reach out to help others.  Those who walk quietly with someone in pain.  Those who lift the rejected and welcome the lonely.  We are all a miracle to someone else, you know.  And we are all needed in some way.  So learn to feel without smoking.  Learn to cope without addiction.  Learn to grow those flowers where once there was only wasteland.

 

Loving you all,

Sheri

Dancingthrulife_6.4.13

Make It Yours

Posted by Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Dec 13, 2019

~~You can't save people from their growth.  You can't keep them from their lessons.  You can't do the work for them.  Even when your intentions are good, you rob others from their right to claim their suffering and transform it into healing.~~  Vienna Pharaon

 

What a lesson this is. Especially here, I think, where so many caring people gather to help.  To advise.  To hand hold and to listen.  Quitting is seldom as easy as "I quit".  It's a storm of emotions mixed in with growing stressors dipped in unfamiliar territories of fears and strengths and wonders.

 

Quitting is an adventure and one that you need to experience.  Your journey.  You may feel sorrow...you may cry...you may feel rage.  That's part of it.  You may feel bruised, vulnerable, shaky even.  That's part of it, too.  And then there will be those moments of secret thrill that you've done it...you've quit.  Savor those feelings.  In between all the good stuff and the not so great stuff you may try to be 'normal' and live your 'regular' life.  But you'll probably find that you're no longer living that life.  You will feel....changed.  Different.  

 

I wouldn't save you from that adventure.  I can't do that work for you....and I wouldn't want to.  Because all those emotions you're feeling?  All that uncertainty?  All those savored thrills?  Like a caterpillar transforming into a breathtaking butterfly, you are transforming into the person you've always been.  Hidden behind the smoke...buried beneath the addiction...there you are.  Stronger than you ever realized.  A warrior cloaked in courage.  A success story filled with so much inspiration that others will marvel at your story.

 

Will you suffer by quitting?  You may think so.  You may have those horrible moments and you may even have doubts and you may waiver in your desire to quit.  But every step forward is a win and every moment not smoking is a victory.  And all those times you felt like you suffered are now behind you until one day you realize healing is occurring.  Life is happening.  You've moved on.  And you'll feel that secret thrill once again and you'll know to savor it.  You'll know that the battle has dwindled to small skirmishes that you know how to win.

 

No, I won't take that away from you.  It's yours to feel.  It's yours to grow.  It's yours mold and create and own.  Make it yours.   

~~When I really think about it, what matters most to living life is the raw and genuine connection we make to the things we do.  The people we meet.  The places we land and leave from.  It's ruthlessly believing in your own days and nights of both triumph and struggle.  Its working through the dirt and mud to build the meaning you want for yourself.  Even driving into the storm if that how you feel that's how you're going to make sense of your own journey.  Its your storm.  It's your own drive.  Sometimes, its really allowing yourself to sit at the bottom for a while.  That way, it humbles you.  It grounds you.  It reminds you we all equally go through mess.  The truth is that, the way to live life is a personal choice.  Its a personal decision.  And it can take many years to find.  What it is we really want.  Where we want to go.  Where we feel is truly and honestly real to ourselves.  When I really think hard about it, what really matters most is simply what makes us feel at peace.  Loved.  Happy.  Content.  Connected vulnerably raw and honest.  And unapologetic of the time that passes to get there.  Because the journey is enough.  The roads are enough.  The place we're working from is enough.  Right now is enough and you know what?  That still truly matters.~~  BraverHeart

 

I remember when I first found this site.  I wanted to quit smoking.  I didn't plan on making friends or causing waves.  I didn't plan on feeling deep connections to other quitters.  I didn't plan on reaching out and I didn't plan on walking their journeys with them.  I simply wanted to learn HOW to quit smoking.  A journey began.

 

A journey of self-reflection....a journey of hidden traumas...a journey of healing.  Questioning and struggling and avoiding led to acceptance, strength, and growth. 

 

Every journey is unique and every pathway individual.  Extroverts, introverts, bold, challenging, angry, hostile, shy, thoughtful, kind....each quitter different, yet all wanting the same thing.  A successful quit.

 

For those who think they haven't succeeded...for those who have yet to quit...for those who aren't sure....let me just say that by finding this site and by entertaining the idea of quitting, you are already on your quit journey.  Because that thought is there.  Maybe not "I want to quit"....but definitely "Quitting is possible".  And it is.  And that thought can grow into things like "Maybe I can quit" or "Can I quit?"  One thought can grow into a life changing journey.

 

And maybe you'll reach out to others.  Maybe you'll feel a deep connection to other quitters.  Maybe you'll make friends or cause waves.  Because your journey has begun with that one thought.  And once begun, your journey will take on a life of its own.  In its own time.  When you ruthlessly believe in your own struggles and triumphs and when you drive into your own storm because that's where you feel you need to be.

 

Thank you to those who have walked my journey with me throughout the years.  You made it bearable.  You made it fun.  You made it possible for me to quit.  I'll never forget any of you.  I can't be here as much as I'd like right now.  So many of my family, friends, and clients are struggling on their own journeys that I feel I'm needed elsewhere.  A piece of who I am will always be here, however, with so many of you.  The quitters, the looking to quit, the elders...all of you.

 

Yes, you can.  It's a journey you'll never regret. 

~~Strength does not come from winning.  Your struggles develop your strengths.  When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.~~ Gandhi

 

Shhh...it's ok.  You can cry.  You can whimper.  You can crawl rather than run through your quit.  It happens. 

You see, quitting comes with challenges.  It just does.  It can be hard and it can be overwhelming and the power of addiction can grab you in a chokehold and take your breath away.

 

No one expects you to be Atlas....King Kong....Superman.  Strength, you see, comes not from powering mightily through your quit but through hanging on for that next moment...that next breath....that next reprieve.  Don't try to move that whole mountain....simply walk that next step.  Don't worry about possible storms up ahead....just move through this one.  Here.  Now. 

 

You're doing ok.  Just by holding on.  Even if you're trembling.  Even if you're weak as a kitten.  Even if you don't know if you can make it another day.  Sit in the moment and just be.  You don't have to roar through the day and you don't have to pretend.  Just be.  Tears streaming....body weary.  Just be.

 

Strength, you see, comes from deciding not to surrender.  That's all.  Don't give up.  Even if you're weak, even if you hate it, even if you wonder if it's all worth it.  Don't surrender.  And in your decision not to surrender, you will find power.  Power to get through that next moment.  Power to break that chain of thought.  Power to breathe one more smoke free breath. 

 

Every second you don't surrender, you build strength.  And in doing so, you begin to believe in yourself just a little bit more.  And you start to dip another toe into your quit, realizing maybe you can.  You may even feel a secret thrill of delight in getting through your day.  All while still holding your breath a bit because you don't know what you'll feel next.

 

Welcome to your quit...the good, the bad, the struggles.  Addiction versus life.  Put them down, please and don't look back.  Make it through your quit as slowly as you need to.  As carefully as you need to.  Strength is there keeping you quit.  Put the mountain down and just take that next step.  You'll get there.

 

It's ok to not be ok.  It's ok.