~~There's a lot that is good in your life. Don't take it for granted. Don't get so focused on the struggles that you miss the gift of today.~~ Unknown
My co-worker and I have noticed a trend with our participants lately. They seem to view their recovery as a punishment for either being an addict or having their children removed from their care because they were using drugs or even because they don't deserve anything but agony and trials.
I never thought of quitting that way. But as I get to know these remarkable people, I also understand where they are coming from. They've never had any good in their lives that they have recognized as 'good'. They've never lived their adult lives without either using drugs to 'feel better' or not using drugs but keeping that addictive behavior going.
So when I talk about creating a lifestyle that they don't have to hide from, they are confused. When I talk about the freedom that comes from being in recovery, they are totally without a clue. When I talk about the self-awareness and self-confidence that comes from being in control of what they put in their bodies, they hear nothing but 'book smart talk'.
And then I got to thinking about you. And I wonder if when I post, it sounds like gibberish to you. How much is getting through and how much is so foreign to you that you and I don't connect? Because, let's face it, most of us have lived our whole adult lives and most of our teenage years smoking. And smoking kills connections. Dulls the senses. Isolates. Until maybe you don't even understand the 'freedom' that comes from quitting. Maybe you don't understand the joy of self-awareness because it's been so long since you really felt you.
There are no answers in this post today. Just thoughts. I don't have all the answers, never have. And any hope I have for you comes simply from the heart, not any secret knowledge of how the brain works. Over the years, I have gained some knowledge of neurotransmitters. Over the years, I have gained some knowledge of addiction and recovery. Over the years most of all, though, I've found myself again and the joy that comes with truly knowing who I am. And that's my wish...my hope...for you. That in your quit you find you. All the good, all the talent, all the uniqueness that God poured into you. It's there, I know. I see it in the words you write, in the comments you leave, in the simple fact that you're here trying to find your quit.
Recovery isn't a punishment at all. Quitting isn't a jail sentence. It's the most precious gift you will ever give yourself, I promise. And in it, you'll find a world of joys, adventures, and wonders that you never knew existed. This is my hope for you.