Hi, Giulia, I really really appreciate your attention, concern, encouragement, and support.
How am I doing? Well, although I abandon my initial quit date (12/05), I do have another date set of January 3rd, 2015.
Obviously, if I told you that I have it all-together I’d be lying because I don’t. In spite of all the new information about cigarettes and smoking I continue to research, learn and discover, I still have a hard time dealing with the psychological torment and physical cravings. I read and detailed lot of stunning and critical information about the cigarette and smoking that was new to me which I included in the blog post, but even before I got halfway through the information I became so angry, angry at the cigarette companies, angry at the government, angry at the cigarette, and angry with myself.
Deeply hurt by all the horrible details and facts in the articles I read through, steadily becoming so angry, I wanted to blame someone for the years of damage to my life, physically and mentally as well. In some way, really I wished I could file a lawsuit against the cigarette companies, I wanted to kick someone’s ass.
Soon after calming myself and organizing my thoughts and emotions, I realized exactly in which direction all this angry energy should be directed, exactly who is to blame, exactly who’s ass I should kick,,, ME, MYSELF, and I. Not the cigarette companies, not the government, not the person who handed me that first cigarette I put to my mouth is to blame because neither forced me to take that first addictive puff, neither forced me to continue puffing away, it was I who fell for the hype, it was I in spite of the horror’s I knew or didn’t know about with that first cigarette and continued to learn more about through my years of continuing to smoke, it was I who continued to do it.
With new information and knowledge though comes new strength and new tools for regaining what was lost.
And lastly, hopefully to answer your question, giulia, “How am I doing?” “I am better today than I was yesterday, I am better equipped, I have a better view of the when, where, why, and how to begin living a smoke-free lifestyle this time around as my next quit date approaches.
As always, this is not an “ I “ effort, it is a team effort, because without the team, “ I “ would not be here.
Again, Giulia, for all that you do, thank you, my dear. ~Donnie.
