What do I do?
I don't want to go back to college today. I don't want to be a graphic designer, and I like photography but I don't want to do it for the rest of my life. I want to work with animals, away from people, live in a zoo or something. But I can't decide exactly what I want to do. Honestly, I don't want to be tied to just one thing. I want to work with all the animals, from domestic to wild, aquatic to arctic, insects to elephants. But I don't want to be a graphic designer - I don't have the patience for the art or the people.
My boyfriend who just moved here from Florida wants to be a professional video gamer and that's what he's working towards. It's kind of a long shot, and he knows that. He knows that if it doesn't work out he's gonna go to college for some kind of computer technology. But even I can tell his passion is in the games and not the computers. He always tells me that his mom and I are the only ones who support his gaming. Why not? I'm 18. Life is too damn short to waste it doing something you don't want to do. If he doesn't at least try to reach his dream he'll spend the rest of his life wondering what would have happened if he did.
My mom has quite a bit of money saved in a fund that I can't use for anything but college, but I don't want to waste it on graphic design school. I don't know what I'm gonna do with animals or how I'm gonna get there and I don't want to be pressured into figuring it out right now. That's kind of the reason I'm already in school for something I don't even really want to do. And she's kind of supportive but she really wants me to figure something out right now (she wants me to do law or something along with photography... the only way I'd ever do law is if I were in animal enforcement, the SPCA officers that get to arrest people on animal abuse/neglect charges).
I just don't know.
On a side note, last night I had the first smokemare I've had in awhile. Sometimes they seem so real they scare me half to death.
