There is a place deep within our hearts where the reality of freedom lives even when we’re completely in the throes of an addition. The only time we seem to realize this as we fulfill our desire of living in the world addiction is when we let our guard down just a little. When we let that nugget that lives within all of us come forward.
Most addicts push that thought away very quickly because you see, remaining addicted and liking living that life really does take a lot of work and the same self reflection that we use when we do quit. When we begin the quit process so often we forget all the work it took to maintain our addictions.
We had to plan our every move, lest we get caught with a moment where we can’t smoke. We had to make sure that all those cigarettes were securely listed in our budgets. In fact, if an addict is to blow a budget, it’s always to feed the addiction. And more importantly we have to constantly push back against ourselves to remain addicted, simply so that the old self preservation thinking doesn’t kick in and make us uncomfortable while we feed the addiction because after all, that place in our hearts always remembers that little nugget of freedom that’s just waiting to be noticed.
I think one of the hardest things about a successful quit is that it has to come from inside. Being told to quit just doesn’t fit into the addicts recovery program. In fact, whenever someone even brought up the possibility of me quitting, the first thing I felt was anger. Looking back, I realize just how hard I fought to keep my addiction intact.
Which brings me to the actual quit and to be honest, just getting there was half the battle for me. I mean I repelled the thought of quitting like the plague for many long years. After all, bad things only happen to others, right? I was sure I was safe even as loved ones around me succumbed to the final effects of this nicotine addiction and I can tell you, the picture was never pretty. But I continued smoking for many years.
But when I did quit, it came from inside. That little place in the heart blossoming for the first time because for once, I let it. And then I embraced these thoughts of comfort and of a new future if I was just willing to fight to see it. And so I did fight, at first just to take that little glimmer of freedom and turn it into something tangible. Something that I could use to propel me all the way to a new and wonderful life.
For me, that’s where it started. But seeing the realities of what I’d at last chosen to face, I knew that I wasn’t one that could just jump in with both feet for you see, as much as I wanted freedom I still lacked the confidence to truly seek it. So I studied my addiction and how I interacted with it and how it interacted with me. I bagan to see through the barriers that I’d created for myself, and using that knowledge of what made me smoke in the first place, I created my quit plan.
For me, that plan was successful. And now I’m living that freedom that I could only dream of on those first hard days of my quit. There’s something amazing that happens when we can finally see through the cloud of addiction. The mind, body and soul seem to come together to create a will that cannot be stopped. A desire for freedom that will not fade unless we let it and in the end a single action transforms our futures for the better life life that we now see. Keep fighting my friends! It always starts with a single glimmer. It’s up to us to take that glimmer and turn it into something amazing!
ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!