Good morning EXer’s!!
I hope all is going well in your quits. I remember those first days well, and there’s a reason for this. By keeping those memories close to my heart, it reminds me of the lessons I learned. It reminds me that though that time doesn’t seem so bad right now, there once was a time that it was and remembering this keeps my resolve strong, and just in case a phantom urge tries to blindside me, I still remember all of the lessons that I had to learn along the way.
I remember when I first dreamed of the addict within. That screaming child that was my addiction. I remember putting a face on it so that I could see my war more clearly. So that I could understand my divided brain. So I could cope with the constant argument that ran through my head. The one where the rational side of my brain was in constant conflict with the other side. The one that doesn’t know right from wrong.
This was the addict within. That part of my brain that refused to believe that our quitting was the right thing to do, and like you I fought with this part of my brain constantly, trying to teach it that I knew the right path for us to take.
As many of you already know, I used a mountain to signify my journey. I called the mountain Mt. Freedom. This made it easier for me to see the journey as a whole. One that might be hard at first but one that also has an end. I think at times it’s hard for us to focus on the ending simply because we’re doing everything in our power to get through the current day, or week, or month.
I remember waking up each morning and in my minds eye, I’d look to the slopes of Mt. Freedom, confident that one day I’d stand on that summit. Remembering the goal of freedom is a good way to get the brain motivated to continue winning the internal argument every day.
But I also remember that each step up that mountain became easier. Each lesson I learned along the way helped me to cope with the next one. With each agonizing step up the mountain, I felt a little more confident. A little stronger. And each step gave me a stronger belief that one day I would stand on that summit.
As I got closer, I could see the banner of freedom waving in the wind and all I wanted was to reach that magical place of freedom and peace that I knew was at the top. I wanted that prize of freedom more than anything! I wanted to be free so badly that I forgot that there was any internal argument or any discomfort and in the end, I did stand on that summit!
I stood on that summit and waved that banner high over my head for I could see others still climbing. Some so far down the slopes and other so close and I wanted them to see the prize. To see what was awaiting them! I shouted and threw down ropes for those who might need just a little help.
I still live on the summit of Mt. Freedom and it is everything that I dreamed it would be. The freedom is amazing but what surprised me even more was the peace that I felt. The peace that I feel right now. It’s waiting for you! All you have to do is plant one foot in front of the other and never waver. Never doubt that what you’re doing is the right thing to be doing.
Building a future of peace. Building a new life of freedom. What could be more special than that? So keep on climbing, my friends. Keep your eye on that banner of freedom and before long, you’ll be on the top and believe me, it’s a wonderful place to be!
ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!