Good morning Exer’s!!
I hope all is well with you! When we decide to quit, we feel a real longing to be rid of something that at the time we still find to be pleasurable. This in itself can make it hard to do what we know is right. Getting past those first irrational thoughts are paramount to quitting for as long as we fear quitting more than we long for freedom, than we can go nowhere.
But somehow most of us find a way past that fear of losing that pleasurable thing we know we shouldn’t be doing. That’s why we’re here. To work together to find a kind of peace that belongs to any who seek to find it. A peace that awaits all at the end of a long journey.
So often we prepare for our quits. Something that I find to be extremely important in order to succeed. By giving thought to what we’re about to do, we begin to take the power away from our addictions. Not that the addiction is anywhere near giving up! No, that demon within us can only be defeated over time.
After we put out that last cigarette, we come to realize that our minds are indeed divided, one side seeking irrational pleasure while the other side seeks freedom. This is the beginning of an internal conflict within us. A seemingly endless chorus of thoughts running through our minds, none of which are really helping us.
I of course call this the “addict within”. For me, the addict within represents the face of addiction. The part that we don’t quite get at first. The part that’s hard, learning to calm the screaming child as we continue to move toward freedom.
But one thing is certain. Every time we win an argument with the addiction, we get stronger. Every time we fight through a crave, we weaken the addiction. Every time we learn a new trigger, we weaken the addiction. Every time we tell the screaming child that we will never give in, we weaken the addiction.
Soon we weaken the addiction to the point that we can actually see through the mask that the addiction has placed on our minds. And once the mask of addiction is lifted and we can see the reality of our quits, then we can start looking forward to the freedom that lies ahead.
It’s always there. It’s just hard to see at first. Within us we have the power to defeat our enemy. We have the power to find freedom.
So when that screaming child demands that you listen to it, recognize that it’s there and then dismiss it. Every time the temper tantrum of our addictions seem so very out of control, take a breath and look around at your new world free of the slavery of addiction.
And like any child, the addiction will in the end quit throwing it’s temper tantrum as soon as it knows that we’re never going to give in. I know it can feel confusing at first when we have to meet our addictions head on. I know it seems irrational to constantly argue with ourselves and yet this is one of the many phases that we must go through in order to win.
Stay on the path to freedom. Always try to look ahead, past the current discomforts to that day that you can call yourself free! That’s what the screaming child has to understand. That you will find freedom. That no matter how loud that child screams, you will not give in!
Eventually the child will take a nap, only to reappear down the road, waking up grouchy and screaming again. The first couple of times this happens, it might surprise you, but over time even that goes away.
Once we put the screaming child to bed forever, then we get our just reward. We get to feel a kind of pride in what we’ve done. We get to feel a love for life like we never felt before. The feeling was always there. It was just masked by our addictions.
So long as you never give in, you will find that peace. I and many others like me are living proof of this. Keep that prize of freedom close to your heart and soon you’ll no longer be seeking it. Instead you’ll be living it!!
ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!