Good morning EXer’s!!
I had an interesting event yesterday. Something that seemed almost completely foreign to me. I had a smoking memory! That’s right, a memory. It just sort of popped up out of nowhere as a thought and then a single impulse and then it was gone just as fast as it had appeared.
Did it bother me? Not in the least. Did it make me miss my past life of smoking? Never even crossed my mind. All it really was was a remnant of some past life. An artifact that I once used to have to fight daily to generate the peace that I feel now. A thing that simply doesn’t exist in my world anymore.
But it reminded me of the power that an urge or memory used to have over me. How I would slap my shirt pocket, looking for the pack that I had removed from there weeks ago. It reminded me of just what everyone here is going through because it reminded me once again of what I went through here.
Life isn’t always perfect. sometimes we just have to make it that way and that all starts with our perception of it. I have to admit that deep inside of myself in the very beginning, I was uncertain about this new future I was about to create. I played tough but like all of us, we cannot hide from ourselves or our own true feelings.
I think it’s in those quiet times when we’re alone that a lot of our quit takes place. It’s important for us to understand ourselves in order to understand our addictions. We have to look inward so much to find the strength that we’re looking for. Inside is where the determination that lives with us even when we’re alone must be nurtured and built into a burning desire that can cast off all of the discomforts while keeping an eye on our futures.
It’s the determination that gives us the ability to look past the mask of addiction and see that what we’re doing is the right thing to be doing. And inside of ourselves. Way deep in there where our heart and soul lies is the gem of our freedom. The part that knows and has known all along that quitting a deadly habit is the best thing we can do for our futures. The part that always nagged us from the edges of our addictions until one day we find ourselves listening to that little gem instead of listening to the addiction itself.
And when we really listen to that little internal part of ourselves that wants the right things for us, it’s like watering it. This is a wonderful time in our lives though it may not seem like it because of the mask of our addictions. But it’s happened so many times already! People finding that little gem inside of themselves and nurturing it, ignoring the old whispers of the addicted past life.
And the gem grows! Over time it begins to weed out the shackles of our addictions, allowing us to see the truth more clearly. So long as we keep nurturing this little gem, it soon becomes the truth of our lives instead of the lies of addiction that we lived for so long. Love of life gradually replaces the fear of losing something that we’re not really losing. We just perceive it that way sometimes.
And the thing is, when we reach inside of ourselves and find that gem, we do this alone. We do this because we really want to and not because someone told us to. We find that burning desire of change to be so powerful that nothing can stop us and when we’re alone, we still feel that confidence.
And once we know in our heart of hearts. The one that lives with us when we’re alone. Once we know in that place deep within us that we don’t smoke then there’s nothing that can stop us! Our internal voice becomes one that speaks of freedom instead of slavery. A voice that speaks of a future that we can now look forward to. A voice that says that we didn’t just start this journey to fall back into the shackles. No. We started this journey to win it and nothing will ever change that!
See each day as an opportunity to tend to that precious gem. A day to build on the achievements of the last. A day to walk a little further on the path of freedom. A day to feel the joy that can only come from success and one day. Perhaps a day where you don’t even realize it at first. Everything calms and becomes that world that you’ve been dreaming about.
It’s within you my friends. The lighthouse to guide you through the storm. The mountain that we long to reach the summit of. The banner of freedom that is there for the taking. It’s all in that internal voice. The one that we hear when we’re all alone and believe me. Once that voice speaks only of freedom then that’s the day that we’ve been looking for on this amazing journey to our futures.
Stay true to yourself and you will win!!!
ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!