To me, this is one of the hardest parts of quitting. We still have all those memories of a past life and yet we have changed a thing that was so much a part of us that it begins to feel almost unreal. Our minds try to grasp new concepts while still remembering in vivid detail what our smoking life was like.
This sets us up for that endless chatter that goes on inside of us. The constant argument that can seem at times impossible to turn off. When we first quit, our memories of smoking are still so vivid that we can almost taste those cigarettes. And yet we don't want to taste them. We want to move on. To get away from how we used to be. To look to the freedom ahead but first it seems we have to whip that addictive voice so that we can focus on our new lives rather then think of the old.
Keeping the mind occupied can help a bit I think but even when we succeed in that we must be on the lookout for the return of that persistent little voice. I think the reality is that at first we just have to live with that voice and do our best to ignore it. This of course brings the stress we feel at first because it really is a hard thing to tune out. Mainly because this internal argument is so new to us.
We find it hard to focus on our new reality because we still aren't completely convinced that we want to rid ourselves of the old reality. This is the part that has to be done one day at a time. This is why I dream of Mt. Freedom. For me it makes it easier to realize that first of all we are on a journey and second of all that every moment that we progress on this journey is a step forward. A step closer to the success we want so badly.
As the voice continues on I can learn over time to tune it out. This is just another part of the journey that we all must face but each time we succeed in blocking that voice, it loses power. Each time we live another day of freedom it builds upon the next, teaching us as we go until before long our old reality is no longer in the forefront of our minds leaving room for our new reality to take hold.
And I think the progression continues. Each day that we walk our new life makes our reality of freedom seem more real. Each day that we progress away from our old reality of smoking is a day where our old reality is replaced with the new.
So though it may seem hard now, the thing to remember is that your on a journey. One that will take you away from a life that you don't want to live anyway. And each day that we progress further on that journey it becomes our way of life simply because we chose life over death. We chose health over sickness. We chose freedom over slavery and yes, we chose happiness over what would become endless sadness had we not made the decision to change our reality once and for all!!
ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!