Hello all. I do hope that today is yet another day of strong commitment. Another day of believing in yourself. Another day of freedom as you walk the path to a more perfect freedom down the road, each day building upon the last. This is an incredible journey for you see, this is truly a journey of life. Quitting smoking is a journey that is so wonderful because each day that we don’t smoke, we prove to ourselves that we really do want to live. That we really do want a healthy life. That we really do intend to have that life no matter what it takes!
I was going through my journal that I created while I was quitting and noticed something interesting. A feeling of loss that sometimes would invade my mind. Being always curious, I wondered just what that feeling was all about. After all, my quit was going quite well at that time and I had a handle on the addict within. And yet there was this feeling that seemed quite real and yet at the same time seemed indefinable as far as finding the root of the problem.
After a bit of reflection I realized that this was because it was a new experience for me. And on the surface was the obvious. My time was no longer being filled with cigarettes. Before I’d quit, smoking consumed every free moment of my life. That’s just how addicted I was to those things. And suddenly I had all this time to fill up. One would think that this is a wonderful thing and the reality of it is that it is, but to an addicted mind that is still trying to understand a world without cigarettes, the mind sometimes tries to create road blocks. The mind still has not learned that we don’t smoke any more. The mind still didn’t understand that I was starting a new and improved life. All it did understand was that so much had changed in the last couple of weeks.
I saw this type of thinking as a threat to my commitment. As a threat to my quit which is why I thought I’d share this with you. There was this seemingly big gaping hole in my new world and I knew that I’d have to plug it if I was going to continue to succeed. And so I decided to take a walk. To look at my new world through the eyes of a non smoker. To fill up that hole with an activity that was as new to me as was my new smoke free world.
And as I walked I realized that this was the first time I’d taken a walk without a cigarette in my hand. It was the first of many firsts to come. I actually looked at my empty hand and smiled for you see, it reminded me that there really is no hole in the world that must be filled. No. That was simply an illusion created by an addicted mind. It was once again the old addict within trying to derail what I had fought for during the last two weeks. It was me trying to convince myself that things had changed even though the only real thing that had changed was my perception of the world and really, it wasn’t empty.
No. It was full! Full of all the things I would do with my life of freedom! Full of a burning desire to teach myself this new world. Full of a life that I now know is just so incredible if you can just get past those first hard days. If you can just believe that there is nothing negative about quitting. Rather then losing we are gaining so much! We’re gaining life and health and above all, we’re gaining that freedom!
So never look at what you’ve lost. The reality is that there’s nothing for you there. Instead try to fill your heart with all that you’ve gained! Understand that soon you really will understand that there is no loss. That it was just another thing created by the addicted mind and really has no place in reality.
Try to think of all the wonderful things that you can fill this time with. That’s part of the beauty of quitting. It’s part of the future that you long for so very badly. Me; I’ve filled my life with writing and walking and seeing the world in the light of freedom. I’ve found that peace that we all long for and rest assured that you will too! All it takes is a little time but one thing is certain. It’s time that we all know is well spent.
