Still enjoying the freedom of a smoke free life! And to think almost five months ago it was just a thought. Amazing! The journey up the mountain did indeed begin with a thought that was transformed into a belief that I could actually quit. A belief that I could break the shackles of my addiction and not only find but actually ENJOY the freedom that awaited me.
Often my own mind tried to weaken my resolve to quit. Often I heard thoughts running through my mind that really made no sense to me. It just wasn’t what was right. It wasn’t what I wanted to do. And so I assigned a name to this part of my mind. I called it the "addict within". Not as an excuse or something to assign blame to but rather to clarify to myself the two parts of my brain that seemed to be in constant conflict.
I created a mountain to climb to show my inner self that I was indeed on a journey and yet by climbing I knew I would get there. The reason is that I had climbed many a real mountain in my day. I used to love climbing those fourteen thousand foot peaks that are right in my back yard. I felt the freedom and joy of accomplishment every time I reached the top of yet another of these magnificent peaks. And it always proved to me that if I believe it, I could be it!
When I quit I told myself that the reward will be once again climbing one of those peaks. Once again feeling the freedom that can only come from a place that is hard and yet not impossible to get to. Tasting the sweet air as a nonsmoker for the first time and standing on the top looking at all I’d accomplished. These were the dreams that propelled me onward. These were the things that kept my belief in myself strong and powerful.
And so I continued to visualize these things. The addict within. The mountain of freedom. These were symbols that my mind could grasp. A way of communicating and understanding myself that might never have been achieved without the help of these things. To me, it’s so much easier to ignore something that has a name attached to it. It’s so much easier to understand the internal arguments we feel when we quit when there is a name attached to those arguments.
And so I continue on, content in the fact that I now have control over the addict within. I now have climbed yet another mountain and tasted the sweet air of freedom. I have accomplished a lot not because of these visions but because I had a belief in myself when I started this journey. I had a belief in my ability to finish the journey and I had a belief that I could indeed change my future because of the actions I perform today.
I still look inward every day, charting my addiction and telling the addict within that he has no power over me. Sure, it wakes up and tries to tempt me every now and then but I simply ignore him for what he is. An addiction.
And so I continue on, never doubting my ability to keep my quit safe. Always believing that this is yet another smoke free day. Always knowing that though I have seen the top of Mt. Freedom there will always be new mountains to climb. There will always be new challenges in my life. There will always be that future that I have fought so hard to see.
I will always look within myself, for that is where the journey really lives. I’ll always look to the top of Mt. Freedom for that is where my new life began. I’ll always speak to the addict within until I understand every grain of truth about my addiction that I can for knowledge is indeed power. Especially the knowledge that comes from within for that is the knowledge of the soul. That is the knowledge that makes us what we really are.
So always believe in yourself. Always believe in your ability to win. Never run from your addiction but rather embrace it. Learn it. Know it. Keep it close so it can do you no harm. Never question your ability to succeed in your quest for freedom!
The mountain may not be an easy one to climb but it is attainable. It is worth the effort. And so long as you keep your commitment to yourself and your future you will never, ever give in. So long as you take stock of who you really are and understand that you are no longer a smoker you will win. So long as you continue to embrace the new future that you are trying to create right now, you cannot lose.
Keep your eye on the prize!!
