Well, the walk out of no man’s land is indeed becoming a reality. The urges are becoming little flashes in the mind rather then an actual craving. To me it feels like the mind is finally giving up it’s fight with itself. Although there is just the whimper of what used to be, I still expect the old addict within to give it one last, incredibly strong try.
Why? Because this is how it seems to work. The mind is indeed tiring of the constant struggle and is indeed finding it’s own kind of peace. The peace of a mind no longer divided. And now the real healing process can begin. But as I heal internally from the struggles of addiction, I know that the addict within has only stepped back. He has tired of the constant fight and is perhaps resting.
But still, I anticipate the last final attempt from my addiction before it gives up once and for all. And I anticipate that this will last anywhere from a day to several days. But I also believe that this will be the last major attempt of the addict within. So I remain vigilant in my quit and will not allow this day that might come to derail all that I have done when it happens.
So for now I will enjoy the newly found peace that is within me. I will enjoy the fact that my shattered inner self is now healing and reforming into a new and better me. I will relish in the fact that soon I will not only have reached Mt. Freedom’s summit but I will also be climbing the real mountain of my dreams. This was the reward that I promised myself in the very beginning.
So to all of you that are just starting out or to those who are already walking the path to freedom for a while I have to tell you, this is indeed the prize that we all seek. To be free of addiction and to feel the wonder as our divided minds begin to reform into a mind without an addiction controlling it.
Though the journey may seem long, it’s a journey that is worth every moment. So never even think about giving in. Never think about lighting another cigarette because the main thing about losing an addiction is that it takes an investment. That investment is time. That’s just the way it is. And if time is at all precious to you then remember when you feel like you might give in that this time cannot be wasted. It’s not fair to ourselves to work so hard and then just give it all up in one weak moment.
Remember the freedom that you long to feel rather then thinking about that nasty cigarette. Remember that what you do right at that moment can determine what your future is going to be. Remember that there are so many who are standing with you and are ready to prop you up if you just ask for a little help BEFORE you ruin all that you’ve already fought for by lighting that cigarette.
Remember to have a little faith in yourself for if you weren’t strong enough to complete the journey then you wouldn’t be where you are right now be it one day, one month or one year. We prove to ourselves with every passing smoke free day that we can indeed do this. We really can find our freedom. So why would we ever want to give that up!
Fight on my friends! Fight for that freedom. Fight for you future. Fight for the one’s who love you and the one’s you love. Fight for the right to live a life filled with the precious days that only an EX can know. But mostly, fight for yourself because every life on this planet is precious. Every life has something to give and when we shorten our lives needlessly who knows what the world might miss from what we might have done?
