Man, the days have been passing by. The quit is growing in length and for the last couple of days, I haven’t had a single memory dredge up an urge within my mind. That’s not to say that tomorrow won’t be different but I always believe that it’s important to enjoy the good days so that they can be remembered on the not so good ones.
Soon the memories will no longer be of smoking. It’s just the way it is. After enough time, the mind gets tired of dwelling on a given thing. And when the memories of smoking become boring to the mind then I think they’ll just fade away. But not yet!
No, this is also the nature of a quit. We must be wary of that sneaky addict who’s only goal is to smoke. Who’s only goal is to act like the screaming child within and stamp that foot and demand a cigarette! Thankfully I keep him locked up tightly. It’s easy to imprison him. All it takes is a little resolve and a belief in yourself.
All it takes is knowing that you are a nonsmoker. All it takes is a desire to be free. Today, I look up the slopes of Mt. Freedom. I haven’t looked up there for a while and man that summit looks so much closer. The cool tundra under my feet just helps to propel me onward and upward.
That snow field in the distance that I must traverse seems to be looming closer now but do I fear it? Of course not! Will I slip on it? I don’t think so simply because I’m still being quite careful with my quit. I’m still keeping a wary eye on that addict within. He’s like a cat right now that’s thinking of doing something. Acting so innocent as I look at him and yet I know what he’s capable of. I know he’ll try to shake my confidence. He’ll try to push me into the shackles of my own addiction once again.
But he won’t succeed. This too is just the way it is. Every step I take closer to the summit is another step further from my original goal. Form the day that I quit. It’s another step closer to freedom. Don’t ever think that how long it takes to complete this goal is a problem. Instead, look at far you’ve already gone. With each step forward we have more invested in our quits.
So when we grow tired of the journey and wonder if it will ever end, this is the time to look down the slopes of Mt. Freedom. This is the time to see how far you’ve come already. It’s the time to understand that giving up now and finding ourselves once again at the base of the mountain is really something we don’t want to do. We cannot falter. We must remember that even though the steps can seem hard, their not nearly as hard as they were in the beginning.
At a certain point in our quits I think we must look to the past as well as the future. We must see what we’ve already done in order to build our determination to reach our final goal of freedom. And we must look to the future to remember why we started our journeys in the first place. In this way we can keep the lessons of the past close and still look to the days of freedom that are just over the horizon.
This is why we never give in. This is why we know that one puff can change everything for even if we only slip, we still must retake the ground we’ve already trodden. We still must fight the same fight all over again. And really, why would we want to do that?
So never let the addict within convince you that the game is over. Never let the trials of life tell you that smoking is the answer to your problems. Never believe the deceptive whispers of that addict within. The one who wants to take from you all that you have accomplished for in the end. At the moment that we give in. This is when the cloud of deception that is our addiction is lifted. This is when we wonder in mental agony why we ever listened to the lies of our addiction. For once the shroud of lies of the addict within is lifted, this is when we realize once again that smoking is not the answer. This is when we realize that our addictions paint a rosy picture that is just that. A picture not born of reality.
And this is not the time to discover this. No, the time to discover the lies is before we derail our quits. Before we give in to the addict within. In this way we can indeed walk to the summit. We can indeed find our freedom. We can indeed live that future that we so badly want and we can leave the addict on top of that summit as we walk free once again!
Oh, what a feeling that will be!
Onward and upward!!
